Holy shit! Auditions equals major stress!
I am sitting here going insane because I know that I am not going to get a part in Seussical. Then there is this other part of me saying oh there is a possible chance you could get a part. I hate it so much! I just want to know that I didn't get a part already! I hate this cause I am in a bad mood and I am very very frustrated. Man, I guess it was stupid for me to assume that there wouldn't be any good guys this year. It goes in a cycle and I should have known that. We cycle through good singers all the time, last year was just a dead year for us. Oi! Ya know, I guess I should just get used to this, I am going to do Acting as a career. I guess sometimes you catch yourself off guard on somethings like the fact that I got my hopes up and didn't even realize, so now I am paying for it. ALRIGHT! I just need to take a chill pill...alright...calming down heh...I guess I just have a lot of worries right now and for some reason they all of a sudden started bothering me at this moment. I mean, maybe it is because I am vulnerable due to stress from auditions. Well I am just worried about this upcoming hurricane, the thespian troupe and my responsibilities as president, where I am going in life, and who I am as a person. I know these are a huge range of things. I don't know, it is just right now I just feel like crawling into a cave and come back in a few years when things have calmed down. Its like a cyclone of stress and there is no escape. God, ya know when I get stressed like this the only person that I know of that has ever been able to make me happy and calm was Sydney but we aren't going to go there. I have too much stress to start freaking out about that again. Anywho, I know a lot of my entries are kinda depressing and sad...well that is because the purpose of my journal is to relieve some hard core emotions such as anger, stress, etc. I will even write a few when I am really really happy thats about it though, dont expect anything mediocre.