(no subject)
It's X-Mas, Bitches, so I'm feeling particularly charitable in the "not making a post about how much you suck" department. I'm going to grace you all with generic survey results mixed with my sheer awesomeness.
1.What is your favorite Christmas carol/song?
"Twelve Days of Kwanzaa"
2.White lights or multicolored?
White. I wouldn't corrupt the purity of my X-Mas with colored lights. Next we'll be stringing collard greens instead of popcorn and shooting up the streets instead of quiet present-opening at home.
3. Do you have a cut tree, live tree or an artificial tree?
Live. Every time an X-Mas tree is cut down, a hippy cries. And I hate hippies.
4. Eggnog, mulled cider, or hot chocolate?
White chocolate, served hot.
5. Do you decorate your house with lights?
Usually.
6. Do you write a Christmas letter?
??X-Mas letter? Is that a French thing?
7. Do you like receiving Christmas letters/photos?
Not really. I don't care what the ugly children of some distant relative look like this year.
8. What is your favorite Christmas story/movie?
The Christmas Story. A foul-mouthed father and son, child abuse and firearms given to minors. It kicks the ass of that boorish "Birth of Christ" shtick.
9. Have you ever made a gingerbread house?
Yes, for a contest. Mine was phenomenal, but it came in second place behind a girl who bought hers, and hers was only made of gumdrops. BULLSHIT. I had a jolly rancher chimney with frosted carefully smudged to make it appear like clinging ice, a chocolate santa, and I actually had to mold gingerbread and create a hard icing paste to hold the entire thing together. Mine was superior. I'm gonna kill that fucking cheating bitch some day. I swear to fucking God.
10. Poinsettias or holly?
Poinsettias
11. Do you display a nativity scene?
Yes, a slightly modified version. Mine depicts three wise men and Joseph huddled over Mary in a back-alley manger, shoving a hanger in and out. Animatronics for this one. Very expensive.
12. Do you bake Christmas cookies?
Yes.
13. Ham or turkey?
Turkey. With stuffing.
14. In what languages can you wish someone a Merry Christmas (without cheating)? English.
15. Do you know all the words to Jingle Bells?
Yes.
16. Do you put presents under the tree?
Yes.
17. How do you eat a candy cane?
With my mouth.
18. What is your biggest holidays pet peeve?
People who bitch that it is too stressful and/or obligates you to see family.
19. What is your favorite Christmas tradition?
Find the pickle. It's a german tradition, and not as perverted as it sounds.
20. What was the best present you ever got for Christmas?
A barbie fold-n-fun house when I was nine.
1.What is your favorite Christmas carol/song?
"Twelve Days of Kwanzaa"
2.White lights or multicolored?
White. I wouldn't corrupt the purity of my X-Mas with colored lights. Next we'll be stringing collard greens instead of popcorn and shooting up the streets instead of quiet present-opening at home.
3. Do you have a cut tree, live tree or an artificial tree?
Live. Every time an X-Mas tree is cut down, a hippy cries. And I hate hippies.
4. Eggnog, mulled cider, or hot chocolate?
White chocolate, served hot.
5. Do you decorate your house with lights?
Usually.
6. Do you write a Christmas letter?
??X-Mas letter? Is that a French thing?
7. Do you like receiving Christmas letters/photos?
Not really. I don't care what the ugly children of some distant relative look like this year.
8. What is your favorite Christmas story/movie?
The Christmas Story. A foul-mouthed father and son, child abuse and firearms given to minors. It kicks the ass of that boorish "Birth of Christ" shtick.
9. Have you ever made a gingerbread house?
Yes, for a contest. Mine was phenomenal, but it came in second place behind a girl who bought hers, and hers was only made of gumdrops. BULLSHIT. I had a jolly rancher chimney with frosted carefully smudged to make it appear like clinging ice, a chocolate santa, and I actually had to mold gingerbread and create a hard icing paste to hold the entire thing together. Mine was superior. I'm gonna kill that fucking cheating bitch some day. I swear to fucking God.
10. Poinsettias or holly?
Poinsettias
11. Do you display a nativity scene?
Yes, a slightly modified version. Mine depicts three wise men and Joseph huddled over Mary in a back-alley manger, shoving a hanger in and out. Animatronics for this one. Very expensive.
12. Do you bake Christmas cookies?
Yes.
13. Ham or turkey?
Turkey. With stuffing.
14. In what languages can you wish someone a Merry Christmas (without cheating)? English.
15. Do you know all the words to Jingle Bells?
Yes.
16. Do you put presents under the tree?
Yes.
17. How do you eat a candy cane?
With my mouth.
18. What is your biggest holidays pet peeve?
People who bitch that it is too stressful and/or obligates you to see family.
19. What is your favorite Christmas tradition?
Find the pickle. It's a german tradition, and not as perverted as it sounds.
20. What was the best present you ever got for Christmas?
A barbie fold-n-fun house when I was nine.