(no subject)
why do i do this to myself? thats the question ive been asking myself. why do i get so close so fast, i met this girl like a month ago, met her once, she said she wants to meet me again and i deff. want to meet her again but im just retarded, i would love a relationship with her but i dont think it will happen to much distance between us. i dont know i was so fuckin happy yesterday i didnt have a care in the world and then i fell back down and im still falling and i dont see a stop in it. i just hate who i am, my personality, the way i get so close way to fuckin fast. this depression is killing me i hate the ups and downs every day i just want it to end. whether it be by these meds or by my own hand, i just want it to go away. i know its horrible to say and everything i just cant stand it anymore, i dont like talkin to friends about it because its how i am all the time now and im pretty sure they are sick of hearing it and i dont want to talk to this girl about it because i dont want to scare her away.