OotP Chapter Fifteen
* Quite be accident, surely, Umbridge has given herself a name that Muggles associate with cruelty, persecution and censorship. I think I get it. Harry=Heretic. Even though he's actually totally in line with middle class values. Stick it to the man, Harry!
* Percy says the Minister is acting here on the concerns of anxious parents, who feel the school is going in a direction of which they don't approve. Is this supposed to be a) a lie, b) a reference to evil parents like Lucius who want the school to be anti-Muggleborn (so far the only parents who have shown much concern for what goes on at school at all are Slytherins) or c) actual innocent parents who object to letters about their kids’ lame classes and multiple dangers? Iow, I know if these parents exist they must obviously be wrong because they don't love what Dumbledore's done with the place, but are they baddies or pussies?
* I suspect I'm supposed to react angrily to the idea of "falling standards" at Hogwarts rather than thinking, "Well, there's definitely room for improvement. Here’s what I’d do..."
* Lucius is 41!
* The Prophet helpfully lists Dumbledore's "eccentric appointments" as being all about his giving jobs to people of different races. You'd almost think the guy gave the job to the person most qualified no matter what his/her background. Luckily we know that's not true.
*The Prophet also links the Dumbledore supporter with subversive groups of non-wizards to discredit her. V. George Bush.
* The paper unfairly leaves out the obvious justification for every strange appointment: Dumbledore's trying to train up Harry here, guys. He's got this awesome, byzantine plan he's working on. Once he's finished maybe he'll consider offering a good education for everyone....Nah, once Harry defeats Voldemort, Dumbledore's got an awesome plan to take over France!
* People are disgusted at the idea of Hogwarts being an extension of Fudge's office, but the main reason it's drawn Fudge's interest is that it's now nothing more than an extension of Dumbledore, who is a political force more than a headmaster, which is why Fudge wants to discredit him. Dumbledore isn't the kind of fictional headmaster who's simply earned the love of all the students by running a school they love and being really fair, here. The school really is his political base.
* Hermione's angry at having Umbridge forced upon them, as I suspect other students have been similarly angry for some other teachers forced upon them. If Dumbledore is all-knowing and twinkly, which he is, I have a hard time believing he tried and failed to come up with an alternate DADA teacher of his own. The guy who hired the fraud Lockhart could easily allow Umbridge to be hired as well, for his own purposes. He got an army out of it and presumably taught Harry whatever he was trying to teach him.
* The kids seem very offended at the idea that their teachers will be "inspected," though I'm not sure why. In my high school there was this group of people who came more than once and basically did just what Umbridge is doing. They sat in on classes, presumably interviewed teachers, grabbed random students in the hall and asked them to sessions where they'd ask us questions. I can't remember what they were called, but it wasn't Inquisitors.
* Of course, if Umbridge was the usual headmistress and Dumbledore was running the inspectors, that would be fine. Wouldn't want to suggest something so subversive as one law for both good guys and bad guys being a good thing!
* Then again, perhaps Hermione just needed something else to get angry and huffy about that morning. She had a pleasant dream and is trying to get back into the proper irritable mood before class.
* Snape's a bastard in handing out papers, though not as bad as my 8th grade algebra teacher who used to hand the tests out from best to worst and announce when he'd gotten to the next grade level. "I'm in the D's now. Sister Magpie, here's yours."
* Since I refuse to believe Snape is physically capable of giving dunces high marks just because they are Slytherin (as per HBP he's making Crabbe and Goyle do classes again to pass DADA), I assume Draco passed when he whispers about some people getting Ds. I notice it doesn't say to whom he's whispering. Hard to believe it's Crabbe or Goyle, who always have to be the most stupid.
* Of course Hermione's trying to look at Harry's paper.:-)
* I'm surprised Snape didn't give Ron and Hermione both F's--err, that is, T's-because he could easily tell she wrote his for him. Hermione doesn't seem like she'd be able to dumb down her work to make it sound like the person she's doing it for.
*Not to mention, um, these kids write all their stuff with quills so it would be in Hermione's handwriting. It's hard to believe Ron or Harry puts in the effort of copying over what she's written for him. Maybe there's a spell that changes the person's handwriting.
*I do appreciate the kids having a helpful expositional conversation where they explain to me what these grade letters mean at Hogwarts, though apparently D sucks all over.
* I love the way Harry is always secretly imagining himself as monumentally failing everything. His image of himself trying to hide T's from Hermione reminds me of his visions of himself stumping around after Hagrid once he's gotten expelled in PS/SS. I don't think this is due to Harry lacking confidence. It's more he just never ever wants to be in the humiliating position he was at the Dursleys again. Being Harry, his failures must be just as spectacular as his victories.
* I can see why Flitwick had no trouble with Umbridge while Trelawney got furious. He's actually teaching a class; she's doing a Vegas lounge act.
* Umbridge is quite awesome in this scene, without being rude. Certainly she's a lot less rude than Hermione was in Trelawney's class.
* So far Umbridge has not conducted "an investigation that violates the privacy or rights of individuals" or even a "rigorous, harsh interrogation." It seems a bit like referring to one's employee review as an Inquisition.
* Though I suppose it must seem that way after Dumbledore's reviews: "Let's see, do I still have some use for keeping you around? Yes. Awesome work!"
* I'm sorry, but the idea that Umbridge would blink in surprise at Hermione saying she's read the whole book is a little too Mary-Sue-fantasy. The kid in the class who has to proudly announce she’s already read the book is hardly anything shocking. OMG, you read the whole book? But you’re only 15! Are you some sort of reading superhero?
* Hermione objects to the idea that "counter-jinx" is a euphemism for "jinx," however sometimes it seems like that's exactly what it is. Sometimes it's something that undoes a jinx, but other times it seems like "counter-jinx" is used to describe the jinx you throw at the guy throwing jinxes at you.
* Hermione goes on to explain that when she says she "disagrees" with Slinkhard she means that jinxes can be useful, especially when used defensively. Err...that's not disagreeing. Calling something a jinx instead of a counter-jinx does not imply it is not useful or can’t be self-defense.
* Btw, "especially when used defensively" means "they started it!"
* Most of the kids in this class who are sad at having to put their wands away and itching to try these hexes will, of course, wind up not only concentrating on jinxes but using them on other students without it being self-defense. It's so inspiring the way our heroes eventually triumph over the evil Slinkhard by proving how useful jinxes are by using them on Those Who Suck.
* Btw, wouldn’t it be funny if the Inquisitor Squad actually did have a policy based on a more pacifist idea, never hexing etc.? Too bad the bad guys must be a collection of contradicting ideas at all times.
* Note that Umbridge does not actually counter Hermione's argument but says Hermione’s opinion doesn't matter, making it seem like Hermione won the argument but Umbridge is imposing Slinkhard because he supports her evil agenda. Hermione's right and being censored because nobody can win an argument with a Mary Sue, ‘specially a fat girl.
* Nobody in school knows anything about what Harry's done in the past because he doesn't ever tell anyone, but in Umbridge's class he just can't shut up with the plot summaries of previous books.
* For the second time Hermione's set alongside McGonagall as the voice of reason with Umbridge, and for the second time it was Hermione who intentionally started annoying Umbridge out of nowhere. Malfoy could take tips from Hermione on how to manipulate Harry into getting himself detention while smelling like a rose himself.
* Godwin’s Law alert. Don’t take this too far, but Fudge is described as gesticulating forcefully on the front page of the Prophet during some kind of speech, and I can't believe I'm not supposed to be picturing Mr. Forceful-Gesticulations himself, Hitler, who’s kind of the standard of all politicians who yell.
* Harry is cross at Hermione through Charms until Umbridge reappears and he transfers it to her. J'ever notice how this works throughout the whole story? We could play "following the bouncing ball of anger" or "Anger Pinball" throughout the book as it jumps from one target to another.
* Understand, of course, that this is all Voldemort doing that.
* Dean does something to a mouse that McGonagall threatens him with detention for. I'm beginning to see the groundwork for Ginny/Dean here. He wants hexing in DADA, loved Crouch as a teacher and teases small animals. He's becoming more attractive by the second. How did he ever become friends with that traitorous Irish boy?
* I think McGonagall shares Hermione's magical "dissing Umbridge" power, being the only two people who seem, almost arbitrarily, to unnerve her where others can't. Note they are both female and remember Maya's essay about that. Harry's anger at McGonagall naturally bounces back to Umbridge when he sees her do this.
* Now that Harry's in CoMC his eyes are fixed on Malfoy, whose own eyes are fixed on Umbridge. Not that Harry remembers Malfoy exists. You know, I suspect the reason people feel like Malfoy loses Harry’s interest in this book isn’t that anything between them is different but that Harry is so mad at everybody Malfoy fails to stand out. He’s just one more bumper in Anger Pinball.
* Umbridge helpfully chooses this class full of Slytherins to wander around and talk to kids. Harry is pleased the class is "not letting Hagrid down," by being able to answer questions on magical creatures. Guess it's a good thing Umbridge didn't talk to Harry or Ron, who get by by copying Hermione's notes.
* Malfoy IDs himself as the kid what got injured and Harry helpfully offers that this was only because he was too stupid to do what Hagrid told him to do--damn that Malfoy for letting Hagrid down! It's probably his fault no other class of students ever get shoved into a paddock full of seventh-year dangerous creatures their first day, unsupervised, after cursory instructions.
* Interestingly, all Malfoy actually says about the incident is, "That was me. I was slashed-heh heh-by a Hyppogriff." He just confirmed the injury that was on file, without elaborating. Probably because he knows it was all his fault and there's no way any decent person could hear about that incident and think Hagrid was anything but an innocent victim.
* Too bad Umbridge didn't ask Harry about it. He could have told her how Hagrid had Harry climb up on the Hyppogriff's back and then slapped it on the arse so it flew into the air while Harry was trying to figure out where he was supposed to hang on. I'm sure that would have counterbalanced Malfoy's own dreadful irresponsibility with the animal and shown Hagrid in a far better light.
* Harry has moved into martyr mode, where now he's not telling anyone about his hand because it's UP TO HIM TO PROTECT THEIR JOBS OMG1!1--Just go with him on this. IITS.
* Harry is pleasantly surprised when he arrives in the common room with a bloody hand to find Hermione disposed to be sympathetic instead of critical. In fact, Hermione exhibits a marked change here suddenly in becoming more motherly, waiting for Harry with Murtsap, speaking to him nervously, looking aghast when he gets angry, making a sacrifice in saying Voldemort's name. I wonder what could have brought on this sort of change? Oh, I see! She wants something from him!
* Hermione's face lights with a fervor usually reserved for SPEW when she imagines learning dueling skills to face what's waiting for them in the world. Please tell me Hermione is intentionally being portrayed as a potentially dangerous fanatic who can't wait to leave homework behind and really cause some damage. She's already done some thinking about how jinxing is necessary, and apparently it was after that class--the one where her actions started the tension that led to the detention where Harry hurt the hand she's caring for--that she just happened to start thinking about starting her own army seeing if other kids want to get together and study DADA. Harry will teach her his mad dueling skillz, the two of them will defeat Voldemort and rule the world together!!
* School in this place seems to again veer between schoolwork and natural talent, with Harry beating Hermione in PoA, the only year they sat a test and had a teacher who knew the subject (and was a personal friend of Harry's who taught him on the side). Harry just frankly *doesn't* seem any better in DADA than Hermione is. He's better at fighting, but does that really make him better at taking the tests? It's not like he seems interested in it as a subject, studying the Dark Arts in order work out how to counter them.
* Harry works himself into a frenzy and finally tells Ron and Hermione...the opposite of what he's wanted to yell at them from the beginning of the book. Go Harry!
* Harry's hand starts throbbing since he smashed the bowl of healing stuff in anger--kind of a nice metaphor for Harry's life at this point.
* Btw, Harry's hand really hurts. Why is it that people heal lickety-split in this world except when it's more dramatic for them to be Muggle cuts that sting? I don't think it's just the magic quill.
* This chapter was long and again left me feeling vaguely irritated, like all the characters in this book.
Designated Hero
'nuff said.
Exploitation Filmmakers’ Credo
Did they just like the last DADA class so much they thought they'd have the same one over again?
IITS
Harry can't tell McGonnogal, the teacher with whom he has spoken about Umbridge frankly before, because he is protecting her from losing her job, which he has just informed us is in danger. Have you not seen how she is unable to handle Umbridge?
Idiot Picture
So. I'm thinking of getting myself more detention with Umbridge this class. You in?
Informed Attributes
I know it's been hammered into everyone's head that Hermione is the best student in all classes academic and that no one could ever come close to her on an exam, but now we need Harry to be better so he is. Remember this when he gets his OWL results.
Misdirected Answering
Sorry, but we've really no time to explore the ethics of jinxing here. The kids prefer to quiz each other on what the grades they just got on their tests mean. Apparently the "D" did not stand for "delightful."
Nut o’ Fun
Hee! Bowtruckles!
Final Score: 7
Also, just for fun, this chapter’s Anger Pinball tally:
Umbridge-->Trelawney-->Umbridge-->McGonnogal-->Hermione-->Umbridge-->Malfoy-->Ron & Hermione