01 HP Prisoner of Azkaban
And now we are back to regular program.
According to one of my relatives I filled out my vulgarity and dick-jokes quotas for this month. Me, being over-competitive jerk had to take it as challenge. So this chapter is Work Safe-ish?
Ch1 Owl Post
>Only JKR could overdramatize doing homework to the point where it looks like the main character is trying to sneakily read porn mags. +1 to FWBP
>IMHO Harry is just dumb here. Just cover whatever cracks in your door with blankets, add a pillow or two in strategic places to further mute sounds and voila! Also, if you are so afraid to leave ink stains use pencil and normal paper. Rewriting the essay at the later date instead of turning first draft will do wonders for your grades. +2 to LOL
>Jo loves sending mixed messages. In the previous book she made a big fuss over not doing magic around muggles and shown us that muggles can be at least semi effective in confrontation with wizard. In this book not only Harry doesn’t get as much as slap on wrist for harming family member with magic, but also gets to write an essay on pointlessness of muggles resisting wizards...
>That excerpt from history book reads like heavy handed propaganda.
>Harry sweetie, if Dursley’s had medieval approach to magic, you would either be stoned to death or getting goods in exchange for fertility potions and medicine. +1 to LOL
>I don’t know Harry, it sounds that more than anyone learning about you being wizard, they are afraid you would once again use magic at the worst possible moment. Last thing they need is you turning their neighbours into porcupines.
>I already mentioned it in comment section of CoS chapter 3, but I’m going to state it once again: apparently after being freed in CoS by Ron and twins, Harry learned how to pick up locks. How? Well presumably from Weasleys, but instead of using it as a good bonding experience or for character development Jo wastes it.
>As much as I enjoy Harry facing consequences for giving away his relatives’ phone number, I’m perplexed by Ron shouting at phone. Wizards don’t shout when they talk through Floo, right? +1 to LOL
>Wait, Dursleys’ are flinching at Harry’s sight? You don’t flinch out of hate or disgust, you flinch if you are startled or afraid.
>Eh, if I was Harry, I would close that window anyway. If you are celebrity known for defeating famous evil wizard, opening packages from unknown sources is like playing Russian roulette. +1 to DC
>I kind of have a problem imagining how two owls can hold up another owl when they also have to carry their own packages...
>You know what? I have another theory why Weasleys have such big money problems… Perhaps Arthur has a gambling problem in addition to standard money mismanagement? Galeon Draw sounds like lottery…
>Oh boy, it shows that Harry is middle class. It so shows… Weasleys aren’t “extremely poor”. Without much problems they: keep roof over their heads, everyday have enough good quality food to not only feed their children, but also to feed a freeloader. And they do it on only ONE salary! Buying larger clothes for kids and worrying about textbook prices is called being frugal not poor!
>What is that saying? Ah yes, one man’s pride is another’s smugness.
>Ah yes, the Sneakoscope. Yet another useless artefact.
>For that matter how does object gauge trustworthiness? Wouldn’t that require mind magic?
>Either Hermione didn’t do research before going abroad (debatable) or until GoF wizards only existed in UK.
>… why the heck Hermione didn’t ask whoever filled out her owl-order to send Harry’s gift to him? It’s not like she couldn’t ask for delivery on specific date and time. +1 to LOL
>Wait, there is “interesting witchcraft history here”? So she probably visited local shopping district… So WHY not just send the Kit via local owl post office? Don’t French use owls? +1 to LOL
>Two rolls more than teacher asked? I swear at this point teachers are enabling her. If I was grading that paper I would do exactly what one of my teachers did: cut off anything over the limit and grade what was left. Word limits are here so you learn how to communicate clearly, not so you break them.
>After CoS Hagrid felt he was in risk of losing his title of Educator of Year so he decided to start swiftly and strong! Cue lovechild of D&D bestiary and average murder hobo D&D player! +1 to DC
>You know what Minnie? Kids could visit the village every weekend if you had more staff. Just a thought.
>I mean if there are only a few Hogsmeade weekends per year and there are no on campus shops, how less organised students get their supplies when they run out? What if you took more notes during class or ran out of parchment during writing love letters? You need to live off other students’ good will?
>Yo Harry, you kinda promised Dursleys that you won’t contact your friends. Leaving your birthday cards out in open works against you in this case…
>Also, when are you going to send your friends thank you cards, for giving you such lovely gifts?
Crime Count: 0
Death Count: 2
Freud Would Be Proud: 1
Leap of Logic: 6
Uncovered: 0
Spell Count: 0