11 HP Chamber of Secrets
So after tournament of Prismata and sinking way too many hours into Disgaea 5, here I’m sitting and wondering how deadlines are supposed to work. *shakes head at her own behaviour*
Ch11 The Duelling Club
>Oh boy, this has to be one of the most frustrating chapters in this book.
>Just how big are cubicles in Hogwarts’ bathrooms? I find it hard to believe that three 12 year olds managed to fit into standard cubicle.
>Hermione gets no points for off-screen flame spell.
>Ugh the trio should be sooooo caught. Preferably by Snape. And then spend next 2 hours listening to lecture about safety standards during brewing. And then be forced to help Snape with brewing potions, since they obviously cannot get enough brewing time during classes.
>I know we are dealing here with teenagers, but all this jumping to conclusions left my head spinning +2 to Leap of Logic.
>Considering just how rampant bullying is in this boarding school, it’s surprising that students started to move in groups now.
>Twins’ methods of cheering up Ginny explains so much about Weasleys’ family +1 to Crime Count.
>I would think that a Potion Master would be able to figure out what kind of potion needs those ingredients. If the trio wanted so badly to steal from Snape, they should have stolen them along with some other ingredients to cover their asses. +1 to Leap of Logic.
>Why they are doing this during class? You have friggin Invisibility Cloak! +1 to Leap of Logic.
>Hermione, no matter how good student you are, you are not a celebrity who is being prepared for suicide march. In other words Harry has better chance of not being expelled.
>Is that me or Hermione maxed out her rebel scores during summer? If rule breaking was OOC in PS, now it’s like Mad Max version of Hermione took over.
>So far this has to be the stupidest part of the plan. Setting off fireworks in room full of people, volatile magical substances and fire is...ugh. I cannot even find right words to describe it. +3 to Crime Count (causing panic, disfiguring students, potentially setting off explosion) +3 to Leap of Logic for dangerous and utterly moronic plan with such small gain. +2 to Death Count. I hope you choke on firework Potter.
>If it weren’t for authorial shenanigans, Snape would have to go to office for right potion to correct this chaos. How would you like it, geniuses?
>Did any of them feel guilty for stealing from staff or hurting fellow students? Of course not!
>”Golden stage”? Really Jo?
>I can believe that Snape knows only “tiny little bit” about duelling. There is huge difference between what is allowed in formal setting and what is practical on battle field.
>It’s just like Ron to wish for death of the two characters who make this book bearable.
> Huh, those stances sound like one handed sword stances. With Jo I would half expect her to write stereotypical duel from a Western...wait a moment...Did Jo actually do some research? Somebody call Vatican and tell them that the End days are close!
>+1 to Spell Count for Severus’ Expelliarmus
>Huh, so this spell can send someone flying? Good to know!
>You would think that by this point boys would realise that not making comments about Lockhart around Hermione would be the best strategy.
>Harry might not wear his hat any more, but Lockhart sure does!
>Narrative ridicules Millicent for her jaw now, fast-forward a few years and Harry will compare Ginny's jaw two twins'.
>”‘I don’t think so,’ said Snape, smiling coldly. ‘Mr Malfoy, come over here. Let’s see what you make of the famous Potter. And you, Miss Granger - you can partner Miss Bulstrode.’” I have distinctive feeling that this match up is revenge for firework shenanigans.
>"Harry swung his wand over his shoulder” WTF? That is not how you do spells!
>DING, DING, DING! Harry for the first time on screen casted a spell! I'm so proud of you, it only took you over 1 1/2 books! +1 to Spell Count for Harry for Rictusempra. Also +1 to Spell Count for Draco
>Another plus one to Draco for Tarantallegra
>Organisation of this Dueling Club is horrible, it's like teachers/Rowling never had to work with kids. +1 to Death Count because in this chaos a wayward spell could off our hero.
>+1 to Spell Count for Severus for Finite Incantatem
>The way Severus talks about Neville sounds like he has a problem with control not with power.
>"my wand is a little over excited" is subtext that became domtext +2 to FWBP
>”Snape moved closer to Malfoy, bent down and whispered something in his ear. Malfoy smirked, too.” I bet Severus is whispering a snide comment about Lockhart.
>"What, drop my wand?" It seems that Harry can be funny only when his author doesn’t intend him to be.
>+1 to Spell count for Draco
>This has to be one of the most convoluted ways of revealing main heroes superpower in entirety of literature. It would be much simpler for Harry to pick a pet snake. This would add nice tension in Harry’s friendships and make Harry-is-Heir-of-Slytherin claims much more believable. But nope, snakes are evil slimy creatures and saint protagonist can’t have any real association to them.
>The longer I observe Lockhart, the more I wonder if his wand isn’t damaged.
>Interesting to note: Harry was carried by his feet and not knowing why he is sure that snake won’t attack. Is that Horcrux interference?
>”Snape, too, was looking at Harry in an unexpected way: it was a shrewd and calculating look, and Harry didn’t like it.” Darn, what I wouldn’t give for taking a peek at Severus mind right now.
>+1 to Spell Count for Severus for getting rid of snake.
>The snake-speech-is-dark-magic always confused me. Yes, Snakes are negative symbol in Christian theology, but in many cultures-that European wizards should have basis for their culture- snakes are symbol of wisdom and healing. Heck I wouldn’t be surprised if Asclepius in this setting was paraselmouth.
>Somewhere between PSch4 and now, Harry once again flipped his opinion on whole setting-snake-on-Dudley incident.
>”How can I speak a language without knowing I can speak it?” I don’t know Harry, but it’s still more believable than Ron learning to speak hereditary magical language.
> I have to ask, how does somebody goes about getting snake speech? Obviously this is not Spiderman situation… I just REALLY hope it’s different from how creating a new species works in Jo’s mind.
>And so the second Ostracising Potter campaign started. Is that me or is this the yearly occurrence?
>Ya know Harry, I’m sure that Potters as noble family would keep their family well documented in case of marriage negotiations. If only you knew where the documents could be kept...
>If Hat wouldn’t put somebody with Slytherin blood into Gryffindor, at this point Gryffindor would be mostly muggleborns and some halfbloods with occasional pureblood.
>Hogwarts has whole section of library dedicated to invisibility? And we don’t hear about any shenanigans?
>While friendship between main characters is very unconvincing, background characters do care about their friend. Aww.
>You know, Hufflepuffs’ logic is more sound than anything the trio came up with during PS and COS. And those guys base it only on coincidences. Ernie for the main character!
>Ernie’s theory about Voldemort’s attack on Potters is more sound than BS Albus has been spouting... I am amazed!
>”‘It’s not possible to live with the Dursleys and not hate them,’ said Harry. ‘I’d like to see you try it.’”Oi Potter, I can still see top of your head! Keep digging that grave! +1 to Leap of Logic
>Hagrid is caring around dead rooster, because even he knows how unreliable is his word.
>Why a coop in magical school isn’t already magically secured?
>For a man who is supposed to take care of grounds Hagrid is wonderfully uninformed on how real animals act. Why the heck a fox would leave dead rooster in coop? +1 to Leap of Logic
>Why Basilisk’s gaze works on dead??? And how are you supposed to de-petrify a ghost??
>”In the end, Professor McGonagall conjured a large fan out of thin air, which she gave to Ernie with instructions to waft Nearly Headless Nick up the stairs. This Ernie did, fanning Nick along like a silent black hovercraft.” Excuse me? How exactly does this work? And why trust student with this?? +1 to Leap of Logic
Crime Count: 4
Death Count: 3
Freud Would Be Proud: 2
Leap of Logic: 10
Uncovered: 0
Spell Count: Severus: 3 Harry: 1 Draco: 3