Harry Potter Abridged! DH Chapter 18
[Harry is still bent out of shape about his broken wand the next morning]
Harry: My wandwork was the ultimate form of pleasure for me. And now that my wand is gone, will I even have any protection against the Dark Lord at all? After all, it’s not like I can ward him off myself-my wand always did all the work! [Cries]
[Harry puts the broken wand in Hagrid’s pouch, which also contains the Snitch Dumbledore had left him]
Harry: Oh, whyyy did Dumbledore never explain anything to me?! Why did he leave me all alone with no help or support?! Why do I have to suffer this way?! [Sobs noisily]
Hermione: Harry!
Harry: Yes, what is it? Do you presume to share my pain?
Hermione: Well…see, I’ve picked up a copy of Rita Skeeter’s book! The one in Bathilda Bagshot’s house!
Harry: Am I correct in assuming you didn’t tell her you were taking it?
Hermione: Well she is a giant snake now, isn’t she?
Harry: True, true.
Hermione: Anyway, did you, perhaps, want to give this book a read?
Harry: You know, yes. Yes I do. I want to see everything Dumbledore’s been hiding from me over the years. I know Rita Skeeter repeatedly slandered me before, but this time she’s right, I know she is!
Hermione: If you say so. [Hands over book]
[Harry opens the book]
Harry: Aha! That blond man! He was Grindlewald! And…and…he used to be Dumbledore’s friend?! What the hell?! [Reads on] It says here, that by the time Dumbledore graduated from school he was essentially the most successful, best-loved, and studliest man around, and every single male student was following him around begging on his knees to warm the bed of the great Albus Dumbledore. The rumor had it…only Grindlewald was good enough for him?! And…and…Dumbledore shared Grindlewald’s opinion that the muggles ought to be subjugated?! And he fought with his brother, Aberforth!? Oh, no! Dumbledore is not the angel I thought he was! Woe is me! [Sobs more noisily than before]
Hermione: There, there. I know it’s awful to think Dumbledore thought Grindlewald a worthy sexual partner-
Harry: A worthy sexual partner nothing! He shared Grindlewald’s view of subjugating the muggles and the whole world!
Hermione: Yes, that too. But…don’t you think he’s seen the error of his ways and become a better person for it?
Harry: Oh, please! Since when has any character in this series ever learned from his mistakes?
Hermione: You do have quite a good point there.
Harry: [Bitterly] And to think I trusted him. Trusted him to tell me what to do and think!
Hermione: Well, at least you still have me.
Harry: But my angel. The light of my life….
Hermione: Never mind.
Harry: My wandwork was the ultimate form of pleasure for me. And now that my wand is gone, will I even have any protection against the Dark Lord at all? After all, it’s not like I can ward him off myself-my wand always did all the work! [Cries]
[Harry puts the broken wand in Hagrid’s pouch, which also contains the Snitch Dumbledore had left him]
Harry: Oh, whyyy did Dumbledore never explain anything to me?! Why did he leave me all alone with no help or support?! Why do I have to suffer this way?! [Sobs noisily]
Hermione: Harry!
Harry: Yes, what is it? Do you presume to share my pain?
Hermione: Well…see, I’ve picked up a copy of Rita Skeeter’s book! The one in Bathilda Bagshot’s house!
Harry: Am I correct in assuming you didn’t tell her you were taking it?
Hermione: Well she is a giant snake now, isn’t she?
Harry: True, true.
Hermione: Anyway, did you, perhaps, want to give this book a read?
Harry: You know, yes. Yes I do. I want to see everything Dumbledore’s been hiding from me over the years. I know Rita Skeeter repeatedly slandered me before, but this time she’s right, I know she is!
Hermione: If you say so. [Hands over book]
[Harry opens the book]
Harry: Aha! That blond man! He was Grindlewald! And…and…he used to be Dumbledore’s friend?! What the hell?! [Reads on] It says here, that by the time Dumbledore graduated from school he was essentially the most successful, best-loved, and studliest man around, and every single male student was following him around begging on his knees to warm the bed of the great Albus Dumbledore. The rumor had it…only Grindlewald was good enough for him?! And…and…Dumbledore shared Grindlewald’s opinion that the muggles ought to be subjugated?! And he fought with his brother, Aberforth!? Oh, no! Dumbledore is not the angel I thought he was! Woe is me! [Sobs more noisily than before]
Hermione: There, there. I know it’s awful to think Dumbledore thought Grindlewald a worthy sexual partner-
Harry: A worthy sexual partner nothing! He shared Grindlewald’s view of subjugating the muggles and the whole world!
Hermione: Yes, that too. But…don’t you think he’s seen the error of his ways and become a better person for it?
Harry: Oh, please! Since when has any character in this series ever learned from his mistakes?
Hermione: You do have quite a good point there.
Harry: [Bitterly] And to think I trusted him. Trusted him to tell me what to do and think!
Hermione: Well, at least you still have me.
Harry: But my angel. The light of my life….
Hermione: Never mind.