Parenting in Pureblood Culture: a response to JosephineStone

[terri_testing]

Thank you for introducing this topic; not only did I read you with interest, but it gave me a nudge to go back and re-read Jodel’s essays on the Weasleys, children, feminism….

and to formulate explicitly some ideas that I’ve been churning for some time.

Comments

[hwyla]

This is also a case (like Ron/Ginny) where we do not actually know whether Regulus WAS preferred or it was Sirius' opinion that he was. There isn't anything in the scene on that first train ride that suggests Sirius wasn't treated well by his family.

Now, he probably was no longer the preferred son by the time he runs off to the Potters, but that wouldn't be about being magically weak, but about disagreeing with his parents.

Of course we don't actually KNOW they preferred Regulus at that point either. It still might be Sirius' assumption based only on whether they yell at Regulus as much as they do him. However, it IS likely that they wouldn't if Regulus is pretty much doing whatever it is they want Sirius to do - which from Sirius' comments it appears was so.

As for other families - I think if any of them were to ignore this way of treating children (if it is the traditional way) it would be the Xeno. Altho' I can also see where it could be thought that Xeno didn't pay much attention to Luna as a child either. But in his case, it could just as easily be about distraction. He seems as 'out there' as she is, so I could see him possibly being too wrapped up in his 'work' to notice her much. Luna's lack of response to the Ravenclaw bullying could reasonably be a bit of dissociating that she learned as a coping mechanism as a child.

The other family which I might imagine ignoring this tradition (if it exists) would be James' parents, the Potters. It all depends on whether he was spoiled even more than Draco or not. James certainly doesn't seem to fear getting in trouble by misbehaving.

Draco is much more circumspect in his actions, ensuring that they generally conform to the 'rules' even if they are the unwritten rules that we have discussed before. He knows under what circumstances he can get away with what.

James, on the other hand, doesn't seem to care about detention, as indicated on just how very many detention cards were on file for him. Neither does Sirius, but that might actually be about wanting to show his parents that he WOULDN'T behave - a rebellion. Either way, they do not seem to care whether or not they are caught misbehaving (unlike Draco). IF they did, then Snape's Worst Memory would not have happened out in the open like that.

This leads me to believe that the Potter parents were probably pretty lax about discipline = probably less so than Lucius would be to Draco. By the time of SWM, Sirius has decided he WANTS his parents upset with him. It's his way of thumbing his nose at them.

[sunnyskywalker]

James certainly doesn't seem to fear getting in trouble by misbehaving.

It belatedly occurs to me... from what we know of James, he usually misbehaves by hexing people, right? Which is evidence of his magical ability.

Might the Potters simply prioritize the same set of traditional values a bit differently? Conformity to rules, meh, whatever. Proving how much more awesomely magical you are than your schoolmates repeatedly? Well done, my boy! Just imagine little James being cooed over every time he manages to make the peas he doesn't want to eat magically explode, or sends magic sparks at the family cat, and suddenly it makes a lot of sense that he grows up to think magically tormenting his crush's friend might impress her. He's just showed how much stronger his magic is, and therefore how much better he is!

"Magic is might" is a slogan Voldemort thought would resonate with Purebloods, after all.