Deathly Hallows, Chapter 26: Gringotts
HRH and Griphook are finalizing their plans to attack Gringotts. Hermione will Polyjuice herself as Bella. Hermione’s wand was lost at the Malfoys’, and she doesn’t like Bella’s wand that she’s carrying as part of her disguise. She says it doesn’t work right and feels like a piece of Bella. Harry restrains himself from pointing out she sounds like him with his borrowed wand, figuring he’d better not pick a fight with her right now. Gee, ya think?
It’s really not the same situation, though. I can see where a wand that had killed and tortured multiple people would make a person uncomfortable about using it. Even if there were nothing wrong with the wand itself, the knowledge of such a history could produce profound psychological discomfort in the user. Harry would probably not want to use the knife that killed Dobby, either; that’s not the fault of the knife, but of his own discomfort.
Harry thinks Hermione’s real problem is that she didn’t take the wand from Bella by force, thus winning its allegiance and bending it to her will. So a wand is a phallic symbol, but if you take it by force, it’ll relax and enjoy your usage of it? That is so sick on so many different levels and in so many different ways at once.
Griphook quite sensibly keeps a close eye on the Trio, figuring correctly they’re just waiting for the chance to screw him over. Proving that even the dimmest bulb on the tree can occasionally glow brightly, Harry is nervous about their undertaking, convinced it’s all going to go wrong.
They arise at dawn in early May and prepare to leave, apparently without eating. Hermione-as-Bellatrix changes Ron’s appearance, while Harry and Griphook hide under the security blanket invisibility cloak. Harry carries Griphook piggyback. I hope he’s been working out because that’s going to get tiring really quickly.
They Apparate to London and enter the Leaky Cauldron. When they enter, Hermione says, “Good morning,” to the bartender, who looks surprised. Harry whispers she’s too polite and needs to treat people like scum. Yeah, Hermione, just imagine everybody is Marietta, and you’ll do fine.
They run into another DE who is surprised to see Bella out, thinking she was imprisoned at Malfoy Manor for her mistakes. Hermione replies “in a magnificent imitation of Bellatrix’s most contemptuous manner.” How much did she really have to imitate, though? She’s been treating others contemptuously for most of the series, and it’s only gotten worse as time has progressed.
When they arrive at Gringotts, the doors are guarded by two wizards holding Probity Probes. These are long staffs that are supposed to detect disguising spells and hidden magical objects, like the metal detectors at airports, court houses, and other public places. What they sound like, though, are something the Taliban or other religious fanatics would use to detect sexual misbehavior. You just know if such a thing could be invented, they would jump at using it.
Harry Confunds the wizard guards so they can get in. Unfortunately, the goblins have been warned about a fake Bella, so they question her, and Harry has to Imperio them. It says he cast the curse “for the first time in his life.” I had two thoughts about that: (1) Why do we have to be told that? No reference has been made to his casting it before. (2) How many times is he going to cast it in the future, if this is only his first time?
This curse creates a feeling in Harry’s arm that is described in almost sexual terms, as a warm, tingly feeling. There is an enormous number of gratuitous sexual references in this book. Was Rowling not getting enough at home when she wrote it?
They ride a little cart into the bowels of Gringotts--right through a waterfall that washes off all their concealment and disguise spells. Griphook says it works on anything magical. This is what they get for going to a school with no theater department. If they’d gone to a normal school, they could have disguised themselves using makeup, wigs, shoe lifts, etc, and the waterfall would only have made them wet.
When they arrive at the vault, it’s guarded by a badly-abused dragon. The depravity of the Potterverse must be getting to me because I’m not nearly as revolted and enraged at the description of the dragon’s mistreatment as I normally would be. What I actually find even more disgusting than the abuse itself is the matter-of-fact way everybody, human and goblin, regards it. Neither here nor later does Hermione do any shrieking about “oh, how horrible it is, the way it’s forced to obey,” the way she did with elves. It doesn’t even get the compassion she gave Buckbeak. I swear, she can turn her sympathy on and off like a light switch.
They get into the vault, but the treasure has been enchanted to replicate and become burning hot when touched. Hermione levitates Harry to reach the Hufflepuff cup on a high shelf; he uses the sword’s blade to catch the handle.
Of course, things go belly up: Since the vault is too crowded to avoid touching anything, they are nearly buried in a tide of hot metal. However, as with the chandelier, nobody is seriously injured. When Harry rescues Griphook, the goblin thanks him by grabbing the sword from him; Harry realizes Griphook never expected them to give him the sword. Smart goblin.
The vault door bursts open, and they find themselves surrounded by armed goblins, with wizards on the way as backup. It’s done for selfish reasons, but Harry frees the dragon and they jump on its back. The dragon makes a break for freedom, and HRH and the dragon force their way out of the bank. Once in the street, the dragon takes off and flies. That must have been quite a sight for the London commuters that morning.
This scene is actually quite exciting and well-written. Now, if an editor had just taken an axe to the rest of the book...