Deathly Hallows, Chapter 17: Bathilda's Secret

[oneandthetruth]

Unfortunately for the Hs and us, things don’t stay so peaceful. As they leave the churchyard, Hermione is sure someone’s shadowing them. Harry tries to dismiss it as an animal, but he doesn’t really believe it; he’s just trying to reassure her. In fact, he’s right, but not in the way he means, as we find out later.

As they wander through the town,

Comments

[oneandthetruth]

I like the re-write, which actually is more Lily as she otherwise appears, and does nothing to stop her death being a 'choice'.

Thank you. I was trying to make it more realistic re both Lily and Voldy. A real psychopath wouldn't talk so politely to somebody he was about to kill.

Harry's had a previous moment of love and empathy in the previous chapter, when Hermione is shaking with sobs after Ron leaves and is described as 'distraught'. 'He watched her,, supposing that he ought to go and comfort her but something kept him rooted to the spot'.

Interesting. I'd forgotten that. That's the way he acts towards the flayed baby in chapter 35. I'd think it was foreshadowing if I believed Rowling was that subtle an author. Most likely, the reason Harry has such trouble responding to someone in need is because Petunia and Vernon never comforted him when he needed it, so he never learned to respond appropriately in that situation. In addition, when people have been emotionally starved like he was, when they see someone they care about in distress, it reactivates their own neediness and pain. They then respond in one of two ways: (1) They shut down, like Harry does. This is a deeply instinctual and automatic response, like an opossum playing dead. (2) They get angry and abuse the distressed person because (a) that's how they were treated, and/or (b) their own distress makes them fearful and needy, so they become angry because that's a stronger-feeling emotion.

It would be interesting to go through the HP books and see how many times Harry got angry when someone was needy and distressed. We know how contemptuous he got towards "hosepipe" Cho. How much do you want to bet that's the way the Dursleys treated him when he cried?

[maidofkent]

..when people have been emotionally starved like he was, when they see someone they care about in distress, it reactivates their own neediness and pain. They then respond in one of two ways: (1) They shut down, like Harry does. This is a deeply instinctual and automatic response, like an opossum playing dead.

That's interesting, and makes me much more understanding of Harry's treatment of Cho.

They get angry and abuse the distressed person because (a) that's how they were treated, and/or (b) their own distress makes them fearful and needy, so they become angry because that's a stronger-feeling emotion.

Ah, I wonder if that's an explanation for Snape's 'I see no difference' re Hermione's teeth, which stands out as the only time Snape insults someone over their appearance rather than over something they've done. He deals calmly and quickly with Goyle, who's just standing there, not reacting and sends him out of the way to the hospital wing, but Hermione is clearly distressed over what's happened to her, and by being forced by Ron to display her teeth.

It would be interesting to go through the HP books and see how many times Harry got angry when someone was needy and distressed

Cho is the first clear example I can remember, but in GoF, Rita Skeeter's article about Harry says that he (a) still cries over his parents' deaths (b) is in love with Hermione (c) is one of the top students in the school. Draco and Pansy mock Harry over (b) and (c), but what gets Harry 'angry' and shouting is the weeping over his parents.

[hwyla]

"...Most likely, the reason Harry has such trouble responding to someone in need is because Petunia and Vernon never comforted him when he needed it, so he never learned to respond appropriately in that situation. In addition, when people have been emotionally starved like he was, when they see someone they care about in distress, it reactivates their own neediness and pain. They then respond in one of two ways: (1) They shut down, like Harry does. This is a deeply instinctual and automatic response, like an opossum playing dead. (2) They get angry and abuse the distressed person because (a) that's how they were treated, and/or (b) their own distress makes them fearful and needy, so they become angry because that's a stronger-feeling emotion..."

And thank you for reminding us of this. You are right. Unfortunately, since JKR usually has Harry act as if he hasn't been an abused kid, it is sometimes hard to see it when he does act like one. I'm not positive I believe she has him react this way because he 'should' with his upbringing, or if it is supposed to be about the 'british stiff upper-lip'. I don't think I remember a single instance where someone in the books actually comforts someone who is crying. The usual reaction is to turn away to give them 'privacy' or ignore that it is happening. The closest we see anyone come to actually comforting someone who is crying is Snape to Narcissa in SpinnersEnd.