TV Tropes fanbrats on Bellatrix: A Parody of a Rant
So… as I believe I have lovingly demonstrated, occasionally I’ll come across something on TV Tropes pertaining to Harry Potter that makes me want to kick babies. Case in point: I was reading reviews of a My Little Pony dark fic entitled “Cupcakes” when there was one author who threw in a casual mention about how Bellatrix was ultimate evil, and not worthy of any sort of Freudian excuse. So, to ease my troubled mind, I made this parody of their opinion of Bellatrix (for example). The rant below is technically taken from a series of rants by a fanfic author about characters who figure in her stories, but I’ve adapted it for my own purposes:
I truly hate this woman because...well, there's absolutely, positively nothing to like about her! She has no redeeming qualities, whatsoever!
First off, she tortures [Hermione]! Need I say more?! How can any [HP] fan like this psychopathic bitch or think she's just misunderstood?! There's nothing TO understand about her -- she's just an evil lunatic! \_/
There's absolutely NOTHING that can possibly be said to defend [Bitchytrix’s]* rotten behavior or explain why she's so detestable! I know a lot of people theorize that she was abused as a child or that somebody who was really close to her died and she just doesn't know how to express herself, but you know what? Those theories are pure speculation! There's NO evidence to back them up, which technically renders them invalid! (At least [Dudley], [James], and the like have actual proof, no matter how subtle or obscure, so that a case can be made in their favor, but with [Bellatrix] it's all "maybes" and "what ifs," and that just doesn't fly!) Besides, even if [Bellatrix] really is from an abusive family or if somebody close to her died, it DOESN'T excuse her from being so mean to [Harry, Ron, and Hermione]! Uh, [Harry] came from an abusive family, [his parents] died when [he] was a little [boy], and [he] was abandoned and tortured by [Muggles] for most of his life, but do you see [HIM] out [killing] and torturing people?! I don't think so - [Harry is] the sweetest, most loving character [in the book], despite all of the hardships [he’s] been through! This chick has serious problems! O_o
So once again, nuff said. [Bellatrix] isn't misunderstood at all -- some people are just evil, and she's one of them. She's a self-centered, psychotic bitch. Period. Paragraph. End of story.
Okay, I'm pretty much done playing lawyer for now. So to recap, [Harry, Ron, Hermione, and James Potter] = good. [Voldemort, Snape, and Bellatrix] = bad.
*XD
I truly hate this woman because...well, there's absolutely, positively nothing to like about her! She has no redeeming qualities, whatsoever!
First off, she tortures [Hermione]! Need I say more?! How can any [HP] fan like this psychopathic bitch or think she's just misunderstood?! There's nothing TO understand about her -- she's just an evil lunatic! \_/
There's absolutely NOTHING that can possibly be said to defend [Bitchytrix’s]* rotten behavior or explain why she's so detestable! I know a lot of people theorize that she was abused as a child or that somebody who was really close to her died and she just doesn't know how to express herself, but you know what? Those theories are pure speculation! There's NO evidence to back them up, which technically renders them invalid! (At least [Dudley], [James], and the like have actual proof, no matter how subtle or obscure, so that a case can be made in their favor, but with [Bellatrix] it's all "maybes" and "what ifs," and that just doesn't fly!) Besides, even if [Bellatrix] really is from an abusive family or if somebody close to her died, it DOESN'T excuse her from being so mean to [Harry, Ron, and Hermione]! Uh, [Harry] came from an abusive family, [his parents] died when [he] was a little [boy], and [he] was abandoned and tortured by [Muggles] for most of his life, but do you see [HIM] out [killing] and torturing people?! I don't think so - [Harry is] the sweetest, most loving character [in the book], despite all of the hardships [he’s] been through! This chick has serious problems! O_o
So once again, nuff said. [Bellatrix] isn't misunderstood at all -- some people are just evil, and she's one of them. She's a self-centered, psychotic bitch. Period. Paragraph. End of story.
Okay, I'm pretty much done playing lawyer for now. So to recap, [Harry, Ron, Hermione, and James Potter] = good. [Voldemort, Snape, and Bellatrix] = bad.
*XD