MHT3K: Intermission 2
And now, a Public Service Announcement from Draco Malfoy!
Draco: Ladies and gentlemen, I have gathered you here today to discuss the problems that arise from having a hairy heart. Hairy hearts are dangerous things. They are not cool, or badass, and they will not make you look dark or edgy. In fact, they will cause you great harm. Your hearts are not toys. If you cut out your heart, be warned that side effects may include intense pain, insatiable lust, alternatively, lack of any emotions, and you could be stuck as a soulless zombie until the day you die. At worst, it could result in the complete death… of your social life. [Impassioned] Remember all you warlocks, you do not have to be a strawman! Be an original, man, an original!
Everyone else in the room: *claps*
Goyle: That’s something the Gryffindors could stand to work on.
Crabbe: You know, Goyle, it looks like Gryffindors cut out their hearts, while we Slytherins would rather aim for our souls.
Zabini: So that’s why the games are Heart Gold and Soul Silver!
Phineas: Pah, back in my day, children never played with those inferior Muggle toys!
Zabini: Back in your day Muggles didn’t have toys as awesome as “Pokemon!”
Phineas: But Muggle toys- from Japan?!
Zabini: What, they’re cool!
Malcolm: I play those!
Snape: Regardless, children... a most admirable attempt, Malfoy. Now, we can only hope that will keep us going through these notes....
All: *Shudder*
Draco: Ladies and gentlemen, I have gathered you here today to discuss the problems that arise from having a hairy heart. Hairy hearts are dangerous things. They are not cool, or badass, and they will not make you look dark or edgy. In fact, they will cause you great harm. Your hearts are not toys. If you cut out your heart, be warned that side effects may include intense pain, insatiable lust, alternatively, lack of any emotions, and you could be stuck as a soulless zombie until the day you die. At worst, it could result in the complete death… of your social life. [Impassioned] Remember all you warlocks, you do not have to be a strawman! Be an original, man, an original!
Everyone else in the room: *claps*
Goyle: That’s something the Gryffindors could stand to work on.
Crabbe: You know, Goyle, it looks like Gryffindors cut out their hearts, while we Slytherins would rather aim for our souls.
Zabini: So that’s why the games are Heart Gold and Soul Silver!
Phineas: Pah, back in my day, children never played with those inferior Muggle toys!
Zabini: Back in your day Muggles didn’t have toys as awesome as “Pokemon!”
Phineas: But Muggle toys- from Japan?!
Zabini: What, they’re cool!
Malcolm: I play those!
Snape: Regardless, children... a most admirable attempt, Malfoy. Now, we can only hope that will keep us going through these notes....
All: *Shudder*