Philosopher's Stone Chapter Four
*Dudley asks where the cannon is. It’s worse than that Dudley.
*You should let Hagrid in muggles, or he’ll break the door down... too late. Hagrid’s rule is to knock twice then break down the door.
*Hagrid immediately recognises that Dudley is truly a Dud. I mean he is fat after all...
*But as for Harry, the Lily Sue essence shines out of his eyes...
*Like all muggles, Vernon is ridiculous and worthy only of contempt. Hagrid is at least as much given to bullying tendencies as Vernon is, but bullying is always OK when directed against muggles or if a Gryffindor does it.
*It is readily apparent why Dumblesnore sent Hagrid to do this job instead of someone competent. Hagrid worships Dumbledore like a pet dog would. Generally he doesn’t exhibit a mental age any greater than that of an eleven year old boy so in a weird sort of way, he is like an equal for the little oddball who has never had a single friend in his life before. Dumblesnore doesn’t have to give him any specific instructions because he knows that Hagrid will act in the necessary way just by being himself. The fact that he intimidates the Dursleys just as a way of normal interaction and is the first person to really fawn over Harry makes Harry perma-bond with him. We see this has consequences for little Harry that go on for years. You all know the rest. Harry will carry an illegal dragon to the top of the Astronomy tower for Hagrid and then take the fall for him; Harry’s loyalty towards Hagrid will not waver despite Hagrid sending him unwittingly into the lair of man eating spiders and forcing illegally bred Blast Ended Skrewts on him and his peers. And Harry is even prepared to risk expulsion by slipping past a herd of murderous centaurs to teach English to a giant just because Hagrid expects it of him. The point that is relevant right here and now is that Harry will certainly accept Hagrid’s loyalty to Dumblesnore and his prejudices against Slytherin House just as Dumblesnore planned.
*Ah, Hagrid wouldn’t say no to some strong liquor or substance if only the Dursleys kept such things. Wonderful isn’t it, how JKR views alcoholism and worse addictions as being either comical or endearing?
*I would give out Vernon’s advice about Hagrid to anyone; “don’t touch anything he gives you.” In fact, I would deliver it more emphatically than I would have done with regards to the early Ronald McDonald.
* “Keeper of the Keys” is just a grandiose title that actually doesn’t mean anything - the kind of thing Dumblesnore would dish out to his pet as if it were a dog biscuit.
*Young and friendless as he is, Harry cannot see Hagrid’s boorish behaviour towards the Dursleys for what it is. The Dursleys have always kept him downtrodden, so naturally it would gratify him for someone to bully them in turn. Just as Dumblesnore planned...
*So finally we see the letter. Was it what you were expecting when you first read the books everyone? Apparently 31st July is a cut off date for Hogwarts applications... Hagrid cut it fine. I don’t suppose Snape would have procrastinated about it or wasted time with the bizarre stalking game.
*Poor owl, imagine being shoved in Hagrid’s pocket.
*In the UK edition, Hagrid’s letter to Dumblesnore begins “Mr Dumbledore.” I imagine no treats for Hagrid for that? :p
* I think it requires clarifying that anti-muggle bigotry is only bad if it comes from certain characters. It is perfectly OK coming from anyone sorted into Gryffindor. So Hagrid’s open contempt for muggles in general, is nothing whatever like the Death Eater’s mindset. All clear? Good.
*From what we see of Lily from Snape’s memories, she comes across as the sort of character who would be really full of herself at becoming a witch and probably unbearable towards her ugly, non magical sister during the holidays. However, Lily is a Mary Sue - everyone should be besotted with her, it’s in the script. So Petunia’s just a worthless, envious hag, just as Hagrid would probably describe her if he got tired of using the word ‘muggle’ as an insult.
*Car crash? No car crash or any heavy impact could kill Lily and James! It was Voldemort and his flash of light! He was “here in a flash and gone without a trace.”
*Actually Hagrid having the job of telling Harry his story is convenient from the broader storytelling point of view. JKR knew her limits in the early series. She gave out details on the wizarding world sparingly so as not to use up all her ideas too quickly. Harry being so dull and incurious about his surroundings facilitated this. So does Hagrid’s account of that night with all its gaping holes.
*Hagrid can’t spell. It’s that curious theme of stereotyping again; the designated evil characters try to stereotype Hagrid for being a half giant, but in the Potterverse, the stereotypes against giants and half giants seem to be basically true.
*Voldemort didn’t dare try taking the school? More likely he was procrastinating for eleven years about attempting it. He was a master of procrastination if nothing else.
*Nicer people than Lily and James “yeh couldn’t find...” hmmm. Lily turning nice is actually less believable than James Potter turning from arse to wonder from age 15-18.
*The list of the fallen, the McKinnons, the Bones and the Prewetts were the best witches and wizards of the age. Given the way JKR’s informed attributes for characters tend to match the text, it’s just as well we don’t know anything about them. That way their reputation with the fan base is untarnished.
*Voldemort had an unnaturally high pitched voice (for a wizard). Who here thinks he should have been given a hissing impediment instead?
*Hagrid sticks up for the memory of Lily and James against Vernon in the true Gryffindor fashion - by attacking/ intimidating someone who cannot adequately defend himself.
*Voldemort died or gone? Watch more low grade horror movies, magical folk!
*I bet Harry and Hagrid would have enjoyed the reminiscences more if they had culminated with a boa constrictor eating Dudley.
*Uh Oh, Hagrid really is like Dumblesnore’s dog here... except for the fact that he arbitrarily attacks Dudley and not the muggle who actually insulted Dumbledore. Hagrid has no interest in putting his handiwork right. One might have expected Dud to have lasting animosity for wizards in general after this.
*Here begins another theme - covering up for Hagrid. There is a LOT more of it to come. A possible analogy is that of little kids covering up for alcoholic adults.
*Hagrid, allowing you to stay at Hogwarts is not the sign of a great man!
*Harry gets the mouldy old coat, Hagrid gets the couch. Good Night!