Comments | deathsword: umm...yay!

deathsword

umm...yay!

Jan 05, 2005 18:44

wow...i'm loving this. it's been a good day, school wasn't hard, and i'm not tired for once. My girl basically just confessed how she really felt bout me, and that made my day. I just wish we could actually be together. I wanna be w/ her so badly that it's not even funny. so, my good day, made even better by my baby. i swear, i love today...it ( Read more... )

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Re: lucky bastard! deathsword January 6 2005, 17:40:33 UTC

honestly, i have no idea what you should do. hell, i don't even know what i'd do, except go w/ your heart. Whatever it tells u to do, go ahead and do it. If it tells ya to stay with me, all the better; if not, it wouldn't be the first time i've had my heart broken. Just follow ur heart, baby...and, if it tells ya to go w/ Matt, go..if it tells ya to stay w/ me, stay...i'd prefer u stay w/ me, but, that's all up to u. Granted, i'd be crushed if u left me, but, like i said, it wouldn't be the first time. all i want is for u to be happy, and if ur heart tells u u'd be happier w/ him, then, i guess i'm outta the picture. i seriously would love it if u stayed w/ me, Shana, but, if that's not what u decide, i guess i lose my perfect girl. honestly, i'm not sayin all this to make u ultimately choose me, but, i'd prefer if it ended that way. If, however, u decide to go w/ Matt, then i suppose we'll part, i'll be crushed (back to being single, which i hate w/ a passion) but, i wouldn't doubt that we could still be friends. Anyways, baby...just follow ur heart, do whatever it tells u to, and let me know what u decide...i love u now, always, and forever, Shana
-Josh

Re: lucky bastard! deathsword January 6 2005, 20:15:23 UTC

baby, please don't leave me....i really don't think i could handle it...but, i'll understand if u wanna go w/ Matt. i love u so much, and i trust u to make the right decision, for whatever u want...whether it be me or him. I love u, honey, and i never wanna leave u, but, if i have to, i will...it all really depends on what u decide. Either way, i'm still gonna worry bout it til u make ur final decision...cuz, i don't wanna lose u...i really don't wanna lose u, shana....ur the first girl i feel i can actually love, and have the feeling of love returned to me...no girl's ever been that way for me before. Shana, i love u, and i hope u stay...
love always,
-Josh

sorry i havent replied.... morbid_kissess January 7 2005, 23:54:58 UTC

hey, sorry i havent wrote you back in like 3 days. i only have a few min cause im saposed to call matt at 7. we are going to the movies tomarrow, hopefully. he asked me a while back and we never got around to it so i wrote him a note and told him he owes me a movie and i wanna go see White Noise. so he said that we can go tomarrow.... i just need to look up times that its playin cause he dont want to spend all day there, i think he knows he will end up buying me the mall! haha... anyways, i finally mailed your letter, sorry so late. and about me and matt, matt is still with his girlfriend. he wants to leave her but he feels bad every time he breaks up with someone. i completely understand that. he had such a bad day and wont talk to me about it. all i know is that he almost got into 2 fights over something that someone said about his mom... she died in a car accident. about who i want to be with, as of now i want to stay with u. well im gonna go look up movie times..... its kinda strange, both him and i are dating someone but here we are going to a movie. that just dawned on me.... but im gonna be a good girl. i promise. well, write back to this entry and to my letter when u get it.
Shana A.

Re: sorry i havent replied.... deathsword January 8 2005, 02:16:30 UTC

it's alright, baby...i really haven't been on for the past three days anyways, so i haven't been checkin if u wrote back. but, i am glad u finally did. u've at least lessened my worrying a considerable amount. i hope u keep wantin to stay w/ me, shana. i really don't wanna lose u, cuz, and i say this in complete honesty, i love u, shana, more than anything, and if i lost u, i have no clue what i'd do. i will write back to ur letter whenever i get it. anyways, i love u, and i'll talk to u the next time we're online together.
Josh

Re: sorry i havent replied.... morbid_kissess January 10 2005, 11:41:05 UTC

hey, whats up? i have about 15 min till i have to get off line and go to school... i had soooo much fun at the mall! the 1st thing matt and i did was go into the book store (i dragged him there) and i was chasing him around the store with a book about karma sutra. i was showing him all the pics of the different positions and was like "you should try this one!" "oh my god! thats the same one i have!!!" and i was pointing out all the positions i have tried. he was literally running away from me! it was funny as hell. then i dragged him outa there, both of us laughing our asses off. and he told me it was his turn to take me to his store. he was like "you do like music, right?" (being a total asshole, like he dont know the answer) so i made a smart ass comment and pissed him off.... well he got me a new cd player and some new cds. i didnt even ask him for them! i was like "we should take the cd player in the bathroom and put it in the toilet and flush, see if its really watterproof!" then we went to get our tickets.... the internet completely lied to me about what movies were playin cause they said white noise wasnt playing and when we got there it was, so we saw it.... he was fucking with me the intire movie making me jump cause he was tickaling me and poking me.... and he knows im gonna retaliate! lol. the movie was so good! and i was acitually freaked out in some parts. so when we got out he was pickin on me cause i jumped and screamed. i have to admit that it was funny. and then we went to dinner and just sat in the food court playin 20 questions. and then we went outside for a few hours and loidered in front of the mall.... rang the sicurity bell a few times (by accident, i leaned on it) and ran.... he made me laugh soooooooo much! then we went to walmart and he was runnin around with an industrial size toiletpaper!!! we did some other crazy shit too.... he told me how much he wants to be with me again and how much he misses me. and i never knew i was so great, i meen i dont see it. no one has ever told me it like he has. like he picked out everything he liked about me! well im gonna go.
later
write back
shana a

Re: sorry i havent replied.... deathsword January 10 2005, 15:38:07 UTC

well, it's cool that u guys had a great time at the mall. lol, torturing him with the Kama Sutra, sounds like somethin u'd do. he sounds like a funny guy, and a cool one at that. lol, i had fun the other night, i went out bowling w/ my parents, and then even later that night w/ my friends. i'm still worried, of course, and u know what about. anyways, shana, i might be on for a while or a lil...and i really don't know the next time that i'll be on.
love ya
josh

josh, im really sorry.... this might hurt.... morbid_kissess January 11 2005, 00:29:52 UTC

hey, whats up? nothing too much here. i fixed my dads car today.... then i went back to school and got my classes changed for 2nd term. instead of auto-tech for 3rd and 4th period im gonna be taking anatomy & physiology and spanish 2. so now im gonna be graduating with 3 different certificates. i talked to Matt today, he asked me out. i told him that i liked him alot and i really care about him but he treated me like shit in front of his friends when we were dating before and he will do it again. he told me that he wouldnt and he promisses things will change. well to get to the bottom line, i told him no. i told him the person im with i care about more than anything (for now) and that i have a good thing going and why break off a good thing. and then i got to thinkin about all the things u did to make me upset. u know how many times i had to stop myself from just saying fuck it and signing off and changing my screen name?? and i figured im gonna do this: im gonna treat you like i do all the guys i have dated in the past. starting now u will have what we call the "3 strikes". now u are alowed to fuck up 3 times and get me completely pissed without me leaving you. i feel thats fair. cause i have been thinkin, why do i need someone to upset me? if the person was really right for me they wouldnt treat me like shit, make me feel bad, or be messin up all the time. (thats where the "hurtful" part comes in). but, all in all, i hope that you are happy i decided to stay with you. i knew matt wasnt right for me anyways.... now change the subject, are you going to your prom? if so, would you like to take me? cause i was thinkin.... im not going to mine cause the people at my school are all assholes and i dont wanna see any of my exs. so i wanted to know, can you take me to urs? well im gonna get going, ill prolly be on for a while, im fillin out ACT forms......
later
Shana A.
ps.... write another journal entry

Re: josh, im really sorry.... this might hurt.... deathsword January 11 2005, 02:36:03 UTC

shana, ur right, that 3 strikes is fair. and, as to the rest of ur entry, u can find the answer on my new entry i posted.
i love u, baby, and i am glad u stayed w/ me
-josh

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