(no subject)
i wish things didn't bore me so easily.
i want to go out.
but i won't.
i feel so desolate.
i have so many supressed feelings and thoughts..
my dreams scare me.
i'm trying not to think about things too much but when i sleep i have no control.
i think about everything possible.
i'm so stupid. living in the past.
why did i put myself through so much bullshit.
.. actually it's not MY fucking fault.
i didn't do a thing.
not a damn thing.
i didn't deserve what i got at all.
all this hurt.
permenantly scarred.
so stupid.
and for what?
what the hell did i get out of it..?
jack shit.
everyone forgets so easily i think.
but i'll remember everything until the day i die.
this is what keeps me so hateful.
i want to go out.
but i won't.
i feel so desolate.
i have so many supressed feelings and thoughts..
my dreams scare me.
i'm trying not to think about things too much but when i sleep i have no control.
i think about everything possible.
i'm so stupid. living in the past.
why did i put myself through so much bullshit.
.. actually it's not MY fucking fault.
i didn't do a thing.
not a damn thing.
i didn't deserve what i got at all.
all this hurt.
permenantly scarred.
so stupid.
and for what?
what the hell did i get out of it..?
jack shit.
everyone forgets so easily i think.
but i'll remember everything until the day i die.
this is what keeps me so hateful.