(no subject)
So... The nite before yesterday I hung out with Megan... it was fun and all but when I got home Kevin was waiting to scream at me... he always says the most aweful things to me.... but decpite whut anyone says I cannot do ANYTHING! I'm so sick and tired of hearing "You're almost 19... there's nothing they can do" " You're gonna stay here cuz I want you to" I CAN'T!!! It makes feel so horrible... So that nite after I fought back tears... I went to my room and downed seven sleeping pills... I finally slept through the nite without waking... I don't even know why I constantly wake up through out the nite.... I guess I was kind hoping I wouldn't wake up... but at the same I knew it wasn't gonna do anything to me... Last nite was great.... besides everyone telling me I had to stay there.... I went to the camp... Keith picked me up in paul's car... and I got high for the first time in like 4 months.... I thought it would help but it didn't help very much..itmade my mind race and think of weird things... It wasn't a bad nite... Imean i tried to have fun... It was just there was too much on my mind.... it's so sad but yesterday Joey asked if I ever went to Joe's mom's house, and I didnt mean to but I really showed how sad that thought made me... Joey even commented on it, and everyone say it.... I can't believe I miss that bastard! I don't miss him as a boyfriend, but I really miss him as a friend... and there's just no way we will be friends again.... I'm a whore in his eyes.... and thatz all Ill ever be.... Well I babled enuff... Peace out... and thanx if you read this far....