"don't think cause i understand i care"
today was retarded but so fun
i spent it with my dad
my dad came to to pick me up today...
he knew i was all sad so he tried his best
and for some strange reason i found my self actually enjoying his company
we looked at cars mostly for him ....yea so did you know the new lexus parks its self..no really it does funny.. dad knew it dealership knew it however i did not my dad's an asshole just loves to see me freak out
we talked to day and it went a little somthing like this
father person: ...pumpkin whats going on
me: i hate everyone and every thing....
father person: im sure its not that bad
me: this is why i know im destine to kill people because every time i get my something thats gonna get me the hell away from here your fucking god spits on me and yells "get back in the fucking hole you cunt there is no escaping this place"!!!!!!
father person:hahaha what happen
me: no its not funny don't you dare laugh
father person: ok im listening
me: they called me back.........
father person: so you got a job blah blahblahblah<-----him interrupting which i hate
me: DAD your interruptingi love being hired for jobs that there no way in hell i can get to
father person: aww im sorry pumpkin shit happens but were working on that
me: its not just a car dad
father person: what else is wrong
me:um yea i hate everything!!!!!! people especially mainly males and i think im losing my fucking mind
father person:well yeah i could see that tell you what
me: what
father person:wanna hug pumpkin?
me: NO DAD I DON"T FUCKING HUG I WANT A GUN I WANNA BLOW THINGS UP I WANT TO I NOT ONLY SEE PEOPLE DIE I WANT TO SMELL AND FEEL THEM DIEING AS WELL
father person:yes i know you say that a lot i remember i always remember but until we can find a way to do this and not get caught you'll have to settle for a hug
...........
and im not even sad anymore
i sort of miss my dads hugs i miss him pretending to care and shit when i yell and ramble
its funny i hate him 80% of the time and refused him marrow but he still attempts to make me feel loved
im glad he listens
i listen to everyone else bitch and complain about everything
i never really say anything
im so sick and tired of that
it amazes me
it really does
now i know i get in my moods where i rant endlessly
but everyone points that out
interesting..
im trying my hardest
twitching even
fuck every last one of you
i have had to good of a day to let you piss me off now
and
back stabbing hurts
cut it out
say what you mean
when you mean to say it
people never cease to disappoint me
piss off
thats all ..