Codswallop and tomfoolery

[deaths_heritor]

[phone, morning]
If they aren't back by the end of the month, I'll eat my poker.  What trollop.

And please, if you're wrought with utter despair and you absolutely must subject the rest of us to incessant blather about how wonderful Disappeared Whom and Whom was and how unworthy you are to still exist, etc., ad nauseam, try to space it out evenly so

Comments

Action: Town

[prpl_assistant]

(The people you meet while shopping. It's been awhile since she's last seen her, but Miss Pauling can see that even Miss Susan has been affected by the latest trick Mayfield has pulled on them. It's hard not to be, even if her earlier phone call was to assure them all that everything would be back to normal by the next week.)

Good afternoon Miss Susan.

[deaths_heritor]

[Susan is muttering furiously to a pile of what seems to be holiday chocolates.]

Five nougats in a box of thirty at 1.50 compared to three in a box of fifteen at 89 cents...

Oh, Miss Pauling.

Good day.

[prpl_assistant]

Christmas shopping?

(She's got a basket with her too, but it's filled with essential groceries. She's never been much of a Christmas person.)

[deaths_heritor]

Christmas, Hogswatch, however you'd like to call it.

[No one calls it Hogswatch except Susan. Oh, well.]

The one good thing of note about holiday spirit is that it usually involves holiday discounts.

[prpl_assistant]

There's a discount on fruitcake today, if you're interested. It's 35% off the usual price.

[deaths_heritor]

Goodness. That almost makes up for the teeth I break whenever I bite into one. I'll have to see about sending one to the Major.

[prpl_assistant]

...

You might want to consider the Christmas log then. 40% off if you buy the chocolates.

[deaths_heritor]

Do they sell Christmas bricks instead? Something I could catapult from a distance?

[prpl_assistant]

The logs can serve that function, the ones here in Mayfield are rock solid. Though, as you've mentioned before, the fruitcake is pretty hard as well.

You could try the fake stollen here; stollen is a German cake, and it might be fitting if you're trying to launch it at the Major.

[deaths_heritor]

Tempting.

...But somewhat of an unnecessary expense of effort. I'll bash his head in with the poker directly.

And how are you faring this delightful holiday season, Miss Pauling?

[prpl_assistant]

I suppose I am doing alright. The man I'm living with is very proficient at surviving in harsh conditions, so he's been giving me useful advice and ensuring our home is kept warm.

How about you, Miss Susan?

[deaths_heritor]

((Sorry for being so late!))

No complaints. I've never been very afraid of the cold myself.

[One has the feeling Susan has never been very afraid of anything.]

I suppose the bit with the disappearances today will be troublesome.