I almost forgot.
Sometimes the last person on earth, you want to ask for help is the one that really wants to help you. I found this out a few days ago. Turns out a Sarah good deed will be returned 5 years later. It made me cry because it didn't make sense that she would have a vested interest in helping me. Not only is she helping me but a second un expected offer came from Mouses dad. I am loved by the ones I least expect. I am kinda dazed and confused.
My dad never emailed me back when I asked for help. I wish I never asked him. You can't take it back and now I am hurt just for asking.
I had a horrible dream last night. I was telling everyone that I hated my mom for not protecting me as a child. It was trully fucked up. I don't hate her. But I guess I am angrier than I thought, because in the dream I was screaming names at her. It felt so real the spite and the pain. Her lack of emotion staring back at me. A robot. I sometimes don't feel like I am real to her. We're so close at the same time the dichotomy I know to well.
My dad never emailed me back when I asked for help. I wish I never asked him. You can't take it back and now I am hurt just for asking.
I had a horrible dream last night. I was telling everyone that I hated my mom for not protecting me as a child. It was trully fucked up. I don't hate her. But I guess I am angrier than I thought, because in the dream I was screaming names at her. It felt so real the spite and the pain. Her lack of emotion staring back at me. A robot. I sometimes don't feel like I am real to her. We're so close at the same time the dichotomy I know to well.