Watching Myself Die
(*Note if anyone is mad for what they will read because i didnt tell them personally Im sorry*)
I feel as if i am being ripped apart..this break shit i cant fucking handle it and i dont know what to do..i was going fine til tuesday night when everything culminated and hit me "we dont have that label right now" was a dagger into my heart..i know its not permanent but hearing her say that was devastating..and now my patience is being put to the test and i mean no harm by that because she has much more important shit to deal with and i know and repsect that..I know I have a lot of patience but hearing that tested me. I dont know where to turn and who to turn to i cant remember being this depressed in so long..it feels like i was on sturdy ground and that ground just fell through and Im laying in a hole bloody and broken...maybe i will just stay there so i wont fall again..I just dont know anymore about anything.I thought I was the cool collected kid who had everything figured out and in order now look at me Im a mess I need so much sleep but im not getting it and i need my head cleared and that defiantly aint happening..I really dont have any one to turn to(dont anyone take offense to this)I feel as if loosing grip on everything i had maybe i will just let go be so much easier start over or put an end to it... I sit here usually being the isolated kid and now i have let the blood spill into this journal Im taking solice in an online journal for the world to peer into how fucked is that?
F.I.A-
I feel as if i am being ripped apart..this break shit i cant fucking handle it and i dont know what to do..i was going fine til tuesday night when everything culminated and hit me "we dont have that label right now" was a dagger into my heart..i know its not permanent but hearing her say that was devastating..and now my patience is being put to the test and i mean no harm by that because she has much more important shit to deal with and i know and repsect that..I know I have a lot of patience but hearing that tested me. I dont know where to turn and who to turn to i cant remember being this depressed in so long..it feels like i was on sturdy ground and that ground just fell through and Im laying in a hole bloody and broken...maybe i will just stay there so i wont fall again..I just dont know anymore about anything.I thought I was the cool collected kid who had everything figured out and in order now look at me Im a mess I need so much sleep but im not getting it and i need my head cleared and that defiantly aint happening..I really dont have any one to turn to(dont anyone take offense to this)I feel as if loosing grip on everything i had maybe i will just let go be so much easier start over or put an end to it... I sit here usually being the isolated kid and now i have let the blood spill into this journal Im taking solice in an online journal for the world to peer into how fucked is that?
F.I.A-