Contaminate to Alleviate
Vexed. Completely vexed. Everything must be absolutely ideal when THEY come over. Everything must be spic and spasm. "Why," I ask, "do you do this only when they come over and not when Pat or someone else comes over?" Ooh a pressure point. That's a sensitive one. I can see the red lights coming on in her head as she tenses up. "BECAUSE THEIR house is always PERFECT. GOT IT?!" Yeah. Got it. After you douse me in bleach and tell me to scrub the paneling with a tooth brush. The maternal unit really needs to chill out. She needs like....Vicodin in an IV bag and then she can have the IV being wheeled around with her on one of those IV stands.They're coming at 6. It's no big deal. She's been freaking out since 10.
I enjoy being a useless hunk of flesh. I really do.
I enjoy being a useless hunk of flesh. I really do.