(no subject)
how can this be happening i hate everyone brooke wont talk to me all the comments i have made n her journal she deleted i miss her so much why is she dong ths she says she doesntwant to hurt herself so she doesnt get close to anyone but wh cant we still talk i love her and i know she still must have some feelings for me this sinot what i need right now shit my mom comes tomorow and i cant even know that i atleast have someone that i can talk to about anything any felings that i had i could tell her and now she has pushed me away this is why my formal journal have been so dark and now it has gotten worse know i dont even have any one that can m,ake me smile brooke is gone chris is gone everyone that gets close to me just as quickly is ripped away now i understand why she doesnt want to get close but i need her write now brooke if your reading this then talk to me please make me understand please shit brooke you dont know how hard it was to say goodbye once please dont make me do it again shit brooke i ope your fucking happy ok im cryin right now i havent criedsince i ucking moved and before that i cant even remember the last time i cried i miss you why wont you talk to me huh why did you even talk to me that last day at yeates ou could have not told me i would have gone on never knowing keep your fucking pain to yourself stop torchering others because ou shoose to hide behind your pain you probably know now i didnt live the happy life that you thoughti had ok ive been through as much pain as you but mine was worse see you have always had leineint parents and if you didnt you can get away with things see i cant get away with shit and my parentsare controlling beyond belief but that isnt the ehing you had that i didnt see brooke you had real friends not alotbut all anyone really needs is one thats what i never had my slosest friends constantly turned there back on me bet you didnt know that did ou i have never trusted a person once in my lif enot really you may say i lie aot but that there is the reason i have never trusted chris no t stacie not ericka not you and now i cant even have someone that i want to trust see i wanted to get closer to you like you said you did to me but shit what can i do now shit this isnt fair i havent gotten lucky once never in my life did i get a break i never won anything that meant anything to yeah academic shit well i dont need some stupid piece of paper to tell me im smarter then everyone around me if im that smart dont you thind i could figure tht out on my own not once have i gotten s lucky break or something good happen wheni wasnt expecting it until that last day of school all i had to look forward to were my goodbies and then you started talking to me something i had never seen cming you finnly told me you had liked me all year and then you asked me that since iwas leaving if you could have one kiss and i have remembered that since hte day i left i called you when i got home and we talked untl the last second when your arents pulled ip in the driveway and i half expected it to last well now the pattern of my life has shown up stuck with untrustable friends parents sisters even you i can talk to my dog but what does that help shit my dog doesnt even ike me that much and he cant talk to me or comfort me he cant make me feel better when im depressed make me smile when i cry damn it whydont you see brooke i dont have any one but you dont leave me alone in this life because you know the world around me is dark aand with out you i haveno light if anyone other than th person it was intended for read this entry than please forget about it im not worth your time and i really dont want to talk with anyone but her right now commment if you want but i wont see them with the same hope that i have read others in i may get over it i may not but i have to made that decision on my own ","
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