Fic: Narcissa Malfoy's Post-Deathly Hallows Christmas Letter
Title: Narcissa Malfoy's Post-DH Christmas Letter
Author:
dolorous_ett
Rating: U
Length: 930 words
Summary: It hasn't been a very good year at Malfoy Manor, what with the fall of Voldemort and all, but Narcissa Malfoy is determined to keep up appearances and send out a cheery Christmas letter.
Warnings: Contains even more exclamation marks and underlinings than last year, if such a thing is possible.
Author's note/Disclaimer: A companion piece to last year's Narcissa Malfoy's post-HBP Christmas letter. No plants, peacocks or Malfoys were harmed in the making of this fic.
Also posted to
omniocular and my own journal.
To all the Malfoy family’s friends and admirers on this festal day, greetings!
And my goodness, what a year it’s been! Quite an “anus horribilis” as my old nurse used to say!
First of all, it is with great sadness that I have to announce the death of my poor dear sister Bellatrix, cut down in her prime with an Unforgivable curse. This, it seems, is the consequence of standing up for one’s beliefs in these unprincipled times! Unfortunately, due to the climate of nepotism and political-correctness that reigns at the Ministry these days (so different from when I was a girl!), we see no prospect of ever bringing that dreadful woman to justice. The house seems very quiet without poor Bellatrix, and not a day goes by when we don’t miss her, especially her lively ways and witty practical jokes!
Once again, Malfoy Manor has been at the centre of an expanded social calendar. Alas, the price of really being at the head of the very best social circles is a certain disruption to one’s domestic arrangements. Both darling Lucius and myself have always prided ourselves on the unwavering hospitality of Malfoy Manor (provided always that the visitors are our type of people, of course!), and dearest Bellatrix was renowned for her conviviality and generosity, but in this case we feel that, at some moments, our trust may have been just a teensy bit abused. Some of the accusations that have been leveled at us - you wouldn’t believe! Why, anyone would think we were positively plotting to overthrow the Ministry!!!! Some people are just so horrid to their betters, given half a chance! But of course, those of true noble blood can rise above all these little unpleasantnesses very easily!
Once again, the Best Kept Garden Cup in the Exclusive Wiltshire Pureblood Garden Competition was positively dashed from our grasp thanks to the most unpleasant and intrusive visitations on the part of Ministry busybodies this summer. Not only did the Vivacious Border never recover from the shock of last year’s officious intrusions (I very much regret to say that it is now so traumatised that it has been condemned as a Vicious Border, and will have to be dug up, just as soon as we can persuade any of the gardeners to go near it - it is just so difficult to get the staff these days!), but all but three of Lucius’s prize white peacocks were so shaken that all their feathers fell out! We have also had to destroy the tulip beds as we learned, despite assurances to the contrary by the nurseryman, that tulips are in fact a Muggle vegetable (I will not dignify the beastly things with the name of “flower”!). We intend to replace the offending patch with a very fashionable wooden structure known as “decking”, which we are assured is very much “a la mode” just now.
As I may have mentioned last year, poor dear Lucius’s dedication to good causes has been taking its toll. The poor love is so dedicated and conscientious, but on this occasion I am sorry to say that on his return from his little “séjour” he really did take up too much too soon, and he has been informed that complete rest and seclusion are absolutely essential for a man in his situation. And so the poor lamb has been forced to undergo a “world tour”, entirely at his own expense! In his last letter, he tells me that he has been “taking the waters” in the deserts of America - I believe they call the place “Las Vegas” - such curious names they have there, poor things! - but at least he should be free from prying eyes there!
Draco made us both very proud this year - he is turning into really the most sensible young man, and a great comfort in these difficult times! However, it seems that this has not been a good year for those of blood and breeding. Despite a most successful year at Hogwarts, where he earned far more commendations and responsibilities than even a doting mother should list here, he was heartlessly deprived of his right to sit his NEWTS on a technicality - and I know he would have done so well, too, if he had only had the opportunity to sit them! However, we take comfort in the fact that the dear boy has been awarded a place on a Ministry-sponsored residential character-building course for promising youths, populated exclusively by Purebloods from the very best society. Of course, I miss Draco terribly, but he writes regularly from his retreat in Barlinnie, and the latest news is that he may obtain an early “release due to good behaviour” by Easter (he is, of course, referring to his early graduation. The darling lad always did have such a delightful sense of humour!).
The Pureblood Ladies’ Coalition Against Foul Language sadly proved to be something of a disappointment this year. Indeed, with the election of Molly Weasley to President, and her decision to admit half-bloods and Muggle-borns (!!), the Malfoy family have been forced to withdraw our patronage. Until they come to their senses, I have set up the Interim Real Pureblood Ladies’ Coalition Against Foul Language, which will continue the real fight for true family values, despite the deplorable spirit of political correctness that is sweeping the country like a plague. The Committee of the RPLCAFL is currently still short of a Treasurer, Secretary, and Deputy Chairman - if you are interested, please contact Carole Goyle at 1, The Almshouses, Malfoy Manor, Wilts.
Next year, no doubt, will bring other challenges and diversions in its wake. Until then, thanking every one of you for your loyalty and support in the past year,
Blessings,
Narcissa F.B.T.T.F.F.O.B. Malfoy
Author:
dolorous_ett
Rating: U
Length: 930 words
Summary: It hasn't been a very good year at Malfoy Manor, what with the fall of Voldemort and all, but Narcissa Malfoy is determined to keep up appearances and send out a cheery Christmas letter.
Warnings: Contains even more exclamation marks and underlinings than last year, if such a thing is possible.
Author's note/Disclaimer: A companion piece to last year's Narcissa Malfoy's post-HBP Christmas letter. No plants, peacocks or Malfoys were harmed in the making of this fic.
Also posted to
omniocular and my own journal.
To all the Malfoy family’s friends and admirers on this festal day, greetings!
And my goodness, what a year it’s been! Quite an “anus horribilis” as my old nurse used to say!
First of all, it is with great sadness that I have to announce the death of my poor dear sister Bellatrix, cut down in her prime with an Unforgivable curse. This, it seems, is the consequence of standing up for one’s beliefs in these unprincipled times! Unfortunately, due to the climate of nepotism and political-correctness that reigns at the Ministry these days (so different from when I was a girl!), we see no prospect of ever bringing that dreadful woman to justice. The house seems very quiet without poor Bellatrix, and not a day goes by when we don’t miss her, especially her lively ways and witty practical jokes!
Once again, Malfoy Manor has been at the centre of an expanded social calendar. Alas, the price of really being at the head of the very best social circles is a certain disruption to one’s domestic arrangements. Both darling Lucius and myself have always prided ourselves on the unwavering hospitality of Malfoy Manor (provided always that the visitors are our type of people, of course!), and dearest Bellatrix was renowned for her conviviality and generosity, but in this case we feel that, at some moments, our trust may have been just a teensy bit abused. Some of the accusations that have been leveled at us - you wouldn’t believe! Why, anyone would think we were positively plotting to overthrow the Ministry!!!! Some people are just so horrid to their betters, given half a chance! But of course, those of true noble blood can rise above all these little unpleasantnesses very easily!
Once again, the Best Kept Garden Cup in the Exclusive Wiltshire Pureblood Garden Competition was positively dashed from our grasp thanks to the most unpleasant and intrusive visitations on the part of Ministry busybodies this summer. Not only did the Vivacious Border never recover from the shock of last year’s officious intrusions (I very much regret to say that it is now so traumatised that it has been condemned as a Vicious Border, and will have to be dug up, just as soon as we can persuade any of the gardeners to go near it - it is just so difficult to get the staff these days!), but all but three of Lucius’s prize white peacocks were so shaken that all their feathers fell out! We have also had to destroy the tulip beds as we learned, despite assurances to the contrary by the nurseryman, that tulips are in fact a Muggle vegetable (I will not dignify the beastly things with the name of “flower”!). We intend to replace the offending patch with a very fashionable wooden structure known as “decking”, which we are assured is very much “a la mode” just now.
As I may have mentioned last year, poor dear Lucius’s dedication to good causes has been taking its toll. The poor love is so dedicated and conscientious, but on this occasion I am sorry to say that on his return from his little “séjour” he really did take up too much too soon, and he has been informed that complete rest and seclusion are absolutely essential for a man in his situation. And so the poor lamb has been forced to undergo a “world tour”, entirely at his own expense! In his last letter, he tells me that he has been “taking the waters” in the deserts of America - I believe they call the place “Las Vegas” - such curious names they have there, poor things! - but at least he should be free from prying eyes there!
Draco made us both very proud this year - he is turning into really the most sensible young man, and a great comfort in these difficult times! However, it seems that this has not been a good year for those of blood and breeding. Despite a most successful year at Hogwarts, where he earned far more commendations and responsibilities than even a doting mother should list here, he was heartlessly deprived of his right to sit his NEWTS on a technicality - and I know he would have done so well, too, if he had only had the opportunity to sit them! However, we take comfort in the fact that the dear boy has been awarded a place on a Ministry-sponsored residential character-building course for promising youths, populated exclusively by Purebloods from the very best society. Of course, I miss Draco terribly, but he writes regularly from his retreat in Barlinnie, and the latest news is that he may obtain an early “release due to good behaviour” by Easter (he is, of course, referring to his early graduation. The darling lad always did have such a delightful sense of humour!).
The Pureblood Ladies’ Coalition Against Foul Language sadly proved to be something of a disappointment this year. Indeed, with the election of Molly Weasley to President, and her decision to admit half-bloods and Muggle-borns (!!), the Malfoy family have been forced to withdraw our patronage. Until they come to their senses, I have set up the Interim Real Pureblood Ladies’ Coalition Against Foul Language, which will continue the real fight for true family values, despite the deplorable spirit of political correctness that is sweeping the country like a plague. The Committee of the RPLCAFL is currently still short of a Treasurer, Secretary, and Deputy Chairman - if you are interested, please contact Carole Goyle at 1, The Almshouses, Malfoy Manor, Wilts.
Next year, no doubt, will bring other challenges and diversions in its wake. Until then, thanking every one of you for your loyalty and support in the past year,
Blessings,
Narcissa F.B.T.T.F.F.O.B. Malfoy