(no subject)
i dunno why i continue to write, i guess that it's out of boredom or something. i've been doing alot of thinking lately. everything this past year has been so screwed up. i lost the people that i cared about the most all in some stupid "trying to find myself again" bullshit thing. i can't even really hang out w/ the people who were the most important things in my life, and there are some who i can't even look at in the face. i have come to terms w/ my cutting, and the exact reasons why i do it...
i have realized that i don't hate myself for not being good enough, i hate myself for letting others use me. i have finally gotten to the point where i am happy w/ myself again, and all some people seem able to focus on are the times when i was depressed. so, this is me aplogizing here and now to ever person that i pushed away or couldn't open ip too. there are so many things that i would like to tell to two people in particular, but that will have to wait till i can talk to these people face to face.... ok, so now for the song:
"In This Diary"
Here in this diary,
I write you visions of my summer.
It was the best I ever had.
There were choruses and sing-alongs,
And that unspoken feeling of knowing
Right now is all that matters
All the nights we stayed up talking
and listening to 80's songs;
quoting lines from all those movies that we love.
It still brings a smile to my face.
I guess when it comes down to it...
Being grown up isn't half as fun as growing up:
These are the best days of our lives.
The only thing that matters
is just following your heart
and eventually you'll finally get it right.
Breaking into hotel swimming pools,
and wreaking havoc on our world.
Hanging out at truck stops just to pass the time.
The black top's singing me to sleep.
Lighting fireworks in parking lots,
illuminate the blackest nights.
Cherry cokes under this moonlight summer sky.
2015 Riverside, it's time to say, "goodbye."
Get on the bus, it's time to go.
Being grown up isn't half as fun as growing up:
These are the best days of our lives.
The only thing that matters
is just following your heart,
and eventually you'll finally get it right.
i have realized that i don't hate myself for not being good enough, i hate myself for letting others use me. i have finally gotten to the point where i am happy w/ myself again, and all some people seem able to focus on are the times when i was depressed. so, this is me aplogizing here and now to ever person that i pushed away or couldn't open ip too. there are so many things that i would like to tell to two people in particular, but that will have to wait till i can talk to these people face to face.... ok, so now for the song:
"In This Diary"
Here in this diary,
I write you visions of my summer.
It was the best I ever had.
There were choruses and sing-alongs,
And that unspoken feeling of knowing
Right now is all that matters
All the nights we stayed up talking
and listening to 80's songs;
quoting lines from all those movies that we love.
It still brings a smile to my face.
I guess when it comes down to it...
Being grown up isn't half as fun as growing up:
These are the best days of our lives.
The only thing that matters
is just following your heart
and eventually you'll finally get it right.
Breaking into hotel swimming pools,
and wreaking havoc on our world.
Hanging out at truck stops just to pass the time.
The black top's singing me to sleep.
Lighting fireworks in parking lots,
illuminate the blackest nights.
Cherry cokes under this moonlight summer sky.
2015 Riverside, it's time to say, "goodbye."
Get on the bus, it's time to go.
Being grown up isn't half as fun as growing up:
These are the best days of our lives.
The only thing that matters
is just following your heart,
and eventually you'll finally get it right.