what's wrong with me...

[deathisrebirth]

look no pride. i dont care what any of you think of me. but i am afraid of being in a relationship again. i dont know i don't want to get attached again. i dont want what i usually do to happen or history to repeat. and it's not because of larry it's because of me. i've learned and lived thanks to larry. i think larry was just a lesson for me to learn. and i have learn but why i am afraid to be in love? when he has no problem admiting he's in love with the love of his life. somehow i find that statment funny when who ever says it like gwen stephani in that song cool. come on love of my life is a understatment. big one. this guy i dont even love yet i dont know if i will or if i wont. but this is a chance i am willing to make. i must be strong again. i was strong when i was alone and now i must be strong on my own again but with someone do you understand what i am saying. dave is sweet and my boyfriend why is that hard for me to except. if he would have enterd my life right after my break up with fuck ass. i would have had no problem running to him. but why now when i thought i was tough or strong enough to love or be loved again. i dont know
i do understnad that i am the only thing in my way of being happy.
joseph