odd...
i keep having seriously fucked up dreams...
i visit him, we bond, we fuck, we grow to like each other more.
then, we're talking on the phone about a month after i get back.
he says "why you taking brith control? all it does is fuck up your hormones so you never know when you're going to have those 'time of the month' symptoms."
i then playfully ask him "are you saying you want me off of it? what, you want me to get knocked up?"
he is silent and only says "um..."
i say in surprise: "you do! o my god, you do want me to get pregnant!"
he then tries to defend himself, after the confusion settles down and he's done trying to defend himself, he says "i just, don't know if i'm coming back and want there to be some of me still running around back here"
i tell him not to talk that way, and that he is coming back.
he saldy says but he might not.
we hang up, and then suddenly, it's 2am (we had been talking at about 2 or 3 in the afternoon) and i call hm.
i tell him "i'll have your baby"
he doesn't want me doing it just because he wants it, and i tell him, but i do want the baby, too.
(in another version)
it's the day before he leaves for his "mission", i guess.
i drive to his base and get there at about 12am, the sergeant or whoever is at the entrance place stops me and asks what i want.
i tell him i need to talk to **** really badly and possibly quickly.
he asks why and i reply that he's going to be a daddy.
i then get "escorted" to his bunk (which isn't like a military bunk at all) and wake him abruptly.
he asks what the fuck i'm doing there.
i simply say: you're going to be a daddy of the kid i'm going to be a mommy to"
he says nothing, i ask him if he's ok.
he then runs to me and picks me up, twirls me around, and laughs.
(i came out of it after that part for that version)
* * *
i'm pregnant, and i end up losing the baby.
crying, i call him on his cell at his new base in the other country.
i cry, he gets worried and asks what's wrong.
i "sober" up and whisper "no more baby"
he is silent in shock before saying "shit".
(in this other version one)
i tell him it'll be ok.
i fly to his foreign base thanks to the head of his u.s. base when i tell him the news.
i show up in a hummer, driven by some army guy.
(version 1)
i run to him and tell him "no baby - i lost the baby - the baby's gone."
we cry and hug and then i come out of it.
(version 2)
i run to him and jump up and he catches me.
i kiss him hard and he asks "what's this all for?"
i whisper in his ear "hello daddy"
he pulls me back a little, while still holding me, and says "your shitting me, right?"
i say, no papa-bear, it was blue!"
we embrace, i come out of it.
(then, there's this depressing tidbit)
i'm visiting him for the first time, and i've been there a few days.
he comes into his room-thingy and asks what i'm doing sleeping.
crying, i tell him that there might not be too much sleeping for me right now.
he gets worried, sits down beside me, puts his arms around me, and notices he doesn't feel any clothes under the sheet.
he ask why i'm naked, so i look at him.
he sees the bloody lip and the beginning to bruise eye.
he rips off the sheet and sees the rest of the forming bruises all over my body.
"what the fuck happened?!"
"i hate michael"
"he didn't"
"he did - over and over again"
he throws his roabe at me and runs out to find the guy.
i put the robe on and follow him telling him not to be stupid.
he finds mike and starts screaming at him.
mike says something deragatory about me as i stand next to/beside ****.
**** then hits him in the jaw, dislocating it, and then tackles him.
the sergeant person comes running and pulls him off of mike like i was trying to do.
he asks him what the hell he thinks he's doing.
**** explains in quick, blunt terms what ahppened and why he attacked mike.
the sergeant yell in mike ear and grabs him by the collar and takes him away to get a dishonorable discharge.
he some-what calmly tells **** to take me to the god damned nurse to get cleaned up.
F I N
yea, so those are my very odd dream-thingies for the night that may also be seizures.
odd...