can i get a word in here?
Alison: Ugh! The line is so long. I'm bout to cut a nigga!
-pause-
Alison: I can't believe I just said that.
So Pirates was good. Well, about as good as I expected. I don't know if I'm happy there was a sequel, I didn't really see the need for one, but it was good movie nonetheless.
I'm home now. Muskegon parade tomorrow and I get to get my happy ass out of bed at 6:30a. I'm kinda regretting signing on for another year of drumline. Ugh.
I got my SMB info in the mail a few days ago. Oh boy.. I'm not going to have a life end of Aug to end of Oct. And to top it off, the audition music is basically the same as it was last year and I still can't play it. If I suck it up once again this year, I'm quitting. No regrets on that. Why put all that work into band and not march at all? There's no point and it's not worth my time. I'll be a little sad, but I think I'll get over it.
I also got band camp info for FHS. I'm listed as personnel. Heh. Then Coach called me today and talked to me for about 20 mins. It was crazy and a little weird. What a nut that guy is.
OH and I think I'm going to kill Jan and my entire family for treating me like shit. I'm not actually going to kill them but I'm not going to speak to any of them for a really long time. She's no longer my mom, she's Jan. Fuckin' shit.
This last weekend went really great until Monday night rolled around. I spent the entire weekend with my parents, which was not pleasant by any means but not unbearable. It wasn't until I went out to my grandparent's house and found out that someone I had hoped to never see again in my life was waiting for me to get there. And I called Ryan but he had a videogame to play and couldn't talk. Grr.
I feel filthy. Like I have to scrub my skin off just to get rid of the reminents. That was hands down the most painfully awkward night of my life. And all we did was 'catch up'. Even that made me feel used and thrown aside. God I make bad decisions. I think the thing that I hate the most is that we had so much in common and it was so easy to talk. I think the decisions we made ruined a perfectly good friendship and that is something I don't think I'll ever get over. We can't even hold eye contact. At least it's not just me. And here I thought that two mature people could overcome such a silly err in judgement but that's actually the second time I've been let down by that and by two different people. I've never been a very forward person in the aspects of relationships but I think the two biggest mistakes I've made are causing me to retreat into my protective shell. Me and the opposite sex should not be allowed to comingle. Nun it is.