Maybe I'm not cut out to be.
Is being in a fraternity going to be worth all of this BS? I enjoy most of the stuff I do. It makes me feel like a part of something bigger, I have fun, and for the most part the people are great. There are although a group of 5 guys who ruin it all for me. They are DB's for no reason. I don't see why I need the approval of every member. I'm never going to associate with them once I am a brother. Idk, maybe I just don't fit in there. After all, I think I would be the only non-hardcore republican. (I know weird, but it's a religious (in principle) fraternity). Maybe there are some obstacles I cannot over come. maybe it's not even worth the time I'm putting into it. The whole problem must be stemming from a need for acceptance, and my inability to figure out why these particular people cannot accept me.
As for the rest of life. Joining a couple more resume builders. trying to plan out my summer. I need a pharmacy job, I want to take EMT classes or physics at IUPUI, I want to have fun, I want to save money, I need to take time for my relationships with my parents. Some of this will not get done, I just don't know what. I feel my life being so dictated by acceptance requirements. Everything is in terms of how will it help my resume. Remember the days of riding your bike around town to friends houses. Wasting the days playing star fox and halo. Too bad I can't put the ability to beat mario on NES in less than half an hour on my resume.
What's around the corner? Wish I knew.
Insecurities may be getting the best of me. Or this Monster that is keeping me up half the night.
Be comfortable with yourself! take responsibility for your actions! quit acting like I am infalible! I can't handle it.
Will I always be the nice guy? the one who comforts the hurting. Who will always answer your call or txt, chat to you about whatever interests you, whatever you like. Never getting around to what's going on with me. Will I ever put myself ahead of others. I know I do, but given the situation, I always put others ahead of myself.
Some day I will post some happy thought on LJ, some day.
As for the rest of life. Joining a couple more resume builders. trying to plan out my summer. I need a pharmacy job, I want to take EMT classes or physics at IUPUI, I want to have fun, I want to save money, I need to take time for my relationships with my parents. Some of this will not get done, I just don't know what. I feel my life being so dictated by acceptance requirements. Everything is in terms of how will it help my resume. Remember the days of riding your bike around town to friends houses. Wasting the days playing star fox and halo. Too bad I can't put the ability to beat mario on NES in less than half an hour on my resume.
What's around the corner? Wish I knew.
Insecurities may be getting the best of me. Or this Monster that is keeping me up half the night.
Be comfortable with yourself! take responsibility for your actions! quit acting like I am infalible! I can't handle it.
Will I always be the nice guy? the one who comforts the hurting. Who will always answer your call or txt, chat to you about whatever interests you, whatever you like. Never getting around to what's going on with me. Will I ever put myself ahead of others. I know I do, but given the situation, I always put others ahead of myself.
Some day I will post some happy thought on LJ, some day.