(no subject)
I've gotten to thinking awhile back, mostly due to An's influences. Good ones, mind you. She started getting me thinking about Ruka. How much she's influenced me and...how much I truly miss her.
I never really thought about it before because I took the memories for granted. She died when I was so young, I don't remember too much. The memories I'm left with are far too precious to me.
I just...I wish she were around. I don't mean alive, because there is a set time and reason for death. Even if she were a shinigami...I would like to see her again. To introduce her to Hisoka and An and everyone. To have her influence their lives the way she did mine. My world isn't the same without her, but because of her I'm getting by. It would be nice to have a sister again. Hisoka has gained a new family, and, while I have An, I do feel a bit jealous. It makes me miss her all the more. She is the only family I'd ever known...and the only one treated me like a human being while I was alive. I owe so much to her. If she had lived, I would probably have never grown to view myself as a monster.
I never really thought about it before because I took the memories for granted. She died when I was so young, I don't remember too much. The memories I'm left with are far too precious to me.
I just...I wish she were around. I don't mean alive, because there is a set time and reason for death. Even if she were a shinigami...I would like to see her again. To introduce her to Hisoka and An and everyone. To have her influence their lives the way she did mine. My world isn't the same without her, but because of her I'm getting by. It would be nice to have a sister again. Hisoka has gained a new family, and, while I have An, I do feel a bit jealous. It makes me miss her all the more. She is the only family I'd ever known...and the only one treated me like a human being while I was alive. I owe so much to her. If she had lived, I would probably have never grown to view myself as a monster.