STAY STRONG
i really hate being a christian.
it is seriously the hardest thing that i have ever had to deal with.
and please don't disregard this as another one of my rants about god.
i'm just trying to figure this out.
everything that goes along with being a christian goes against what instincts tell me to do.
i seriously wish i could make people understand why i live the way i do.
i get so much crap and people make me feel like i am weak for following a stupid book and believing in something that seems so pointless.
well you know what, it really isn't pointless.
and there is more to life than just believing in god.
i don't think god put us on this earth for us to just disregard the way of life that he has so blatantly put in words for us to live.
there is more peace and complete contentment in knowing that there is someone who will take care of everything if you let him than anything this world can offer.
the reward of living a pure life will be far greater than anything you can gain here.
i guess it's just the challenge of having to live pure that makes it so unapealling.
and the idea of selflessness doesn't seem to be that great either.
i don't really understand yet myself the whole purpose of it.
but i guess everyone has to live for something.
and this is what i have found to be the most rewarding.
i suppose this is the best way for me to express how much stress i have been under lately.
there are a select few who stay strong.
and i thank god for their support.
i know it will be worth it one day.
if only more people understood the concept of selflessness.
if only more people could see that there really is something more to life.
if only i could understand why it's so hard.
i'm just waiting to see what will come of my faith.
and hopefully i can show some people that it really does make sense.
and it really is worth it.
i pray i don't lose hope.
i need some help.
because my light is beginning to fade.
and my mind likes to tell me i'm wrong.
it is seriously the hardest thing that i have ever had to deal with.
and please don't disregard this as another one of my rants about god.
i'm just trying to figure this out.
everything that goes along with being a christian goes against what instincts tell me to do.
i seriously wish i could make people understand why i live the way i do.
i get so much crap and people make me feel like i am weak for following a stupid book and believing in something that seems so pointless.
well you know what, it really isn't pointless.
and there is more to life than just believing in god.
i don't think god put us on this earth for us to just disregard the way of life that he has so blatantly put in words for us to live.
there is more peace and complete contentment in knowing that there is someone who will take care of everything if you let him than anything this world can offer.
the reward of living a pure life will be far greater than anything you can gain here.
i guess it's just the challenge of having to live pure that makes it so unapealling.
and the idea of selflessness doesn't seem to be that great either.
i don't really understand yet myself the whole purpose of it.
but i guess everyone has to live for something.
and this is what i have found to be the most rewarding.
i suppose this is the best way for me to express how much stress i have been under lately.
there are a select few who stay strong.
and i thank god for their support.
i know it will be worth it one day.
if only more people understood the concept of selflessness.
if only more people could see that there really is something more to life.
if only i could understand why it's so hard.
i'm just waiting to see what will come of my faith.
and hopefully i can show some people that it really does make sense.
and it really is worth it.
i pray i don't lose hope.
i need some help.
because my light is beginning to fade.
and my mind likes to tell me i'm wrong.