ay yai yai.
i've really been missing san luis lately. i feel like i've lost a little part of me. seeing my friends' myspaces, the parties and the stuff i'm missing out on. makes me sad. sure, i have my own little lifestyle here in LA, but it's weird. it feels sometimes like it's not real. to be honest, i've had a pretty surreal last couple months. europe, hollywood, vegas. you name it. meeting the greatest girlfriends i could have ever asked for. i trust these girls with my life. totes perf.
but then there's the other part. living at home has been kind of a blessing and a curse for me. i love being with my family, but i feel like i've lost a little of my independence. i work a dead end job, spend most of my money on gas to hollywood and the $800 in billz i owe every month, and i rarely am socializing with "real" people, making new friends, or being part of a social network other than the random hob nobs with fucking bruce willis or janice dickenson. let's be real. these people aren't my friends.
reminds me of that postal service lyric. "this place is a prison, these people aren't your friends..."
sometimes i feel like that. with all that goes down in LA. my "friends" in this band that i've grown with. it seems like lately i complain more than i praise. but it's just so stupid. fame really does get the best of people. a conversation had earlier almost had me in tears realizing that someone i really cared about is on the fast track towards fucking himself over. all because he's depressed, unhappy. it's sad really. i still do care though. but another part of me thinks, well, karma's a bitch. you can't treat people so poorly and expect good things to happen. he seems to fall so quickly in and out of love. how come i can fall quickly in and struggle to get out?
i need a job. i need a real job. i need to get out of this place. a fresh start. i wish sometimes i had never met them.
but then again, what would i have to write about?
but then there's the other part. living at home has been kind of a blessing and a curse for me. i love being with my family, but i feel like i've lost a little of my independence. i work a dead end job, spend most of my money on gas to hollywood and the $800 in billz i owe every month, and i rarely am socializing with "real" people, making new friends, or being part of a social network other than the random hob nobs with fucking bruce willis or janice dickenson. let's be real. these people aren't my friends.
reminds me of that postal service lyric. "this place is a prison, these people aren't your friends..."
sometimes i feel like that. with all that goes down in LA. my "friends" in this band that i've grown with. it seems like lately i complain more than i praise. but it's just so stupid. fame really does get the best of people. a conversation had earlier almost had me in tears realizing that someone i really cared about is on the fast track towards fucking himself over. all because he's depressed, unhappy. it's sad really. i still do care though. but another part of me thinks, well, karma's a bitch. you can't treat people so poorly and expect good things to happen. he seems to fall so quickly in and out of love. how come i can fall quickly in and struggle to get out?
i need a job. i need a real job. i need to get out of this place. a fresh start. i wish sometimes i had never met them.
but then again, what would i have to write about?