Another Endless Dribble
How do you know when you have faded into nothingness? Is there someone to tell you, something, any kind of sign that points you back to reality. Or do I just wait, standing idly by until I am spoken to. Wait to be poked back into living, being.
I find myself asking if this really is dreary boredom...or if this is just a state of life. If this is life. What is life?
And then I ask, why am I even thinking about this stuff? What difference does it make if I am not actually living. Should I make do with what I have or should I strive for some thing new. Act on impulse or...try and actually change this numb feeling in the pit of my stomach and heart. It's like a disease that is slowly eating me away. Soon there will be nothing left to sacrifice. No artificial happiness to coat myself in.
Perhaps it would be better if I don't think. If I just carry on, my robotic movement and lack of thought.
Lacking.
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I really am weird when I get thinking about something...
I find myself asking if this really is dreary boredom...or if this is just a state of life. If this is life. What is life?
And then I ask, why am I even thinking about this stuff? What difference does it make if I am not actually living. Should I make do with what I have or should I strive for some thing new. Act on impulse or...try and actually change this numb feeling in the pit of my stomach and heart. It's like a disease that is slowly eating me away. Soon there will be nothing left to sacrifice. No artificial happiness to coat myself in.
Perhaps it would be better if I don't think. If I just carry on, my robotic movement and lack of thought.
Lacking.
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I really am weird when I get thinking about something...