living a nightmare.

[death_to_love]

maybe i'll post the full story later. but for now. everything currently.

I feel like i'm living a nightmare. i have the biggest hole in my heart losing so many friends and so much respect in general.
I can't help but notice peoples eyes shift when they see me.
i was once known as such a positive person a key part of the (lou) music community.. now thats all gone.

i'm fully aware i'm wrong in many of my actions but i'm hurting so bad.

a week from now i leave my life here behind. i start a new chapter on the other side of the country. from there we'll see how i do. maybe i can work enough to save money and maybe enough to forget everything here. maybe even forget the last few years.

i feel like such a disgrace.

i think about hurting myself sometimes.
sometimes i'll look down at my wrist and wonder.

i'd never thought i'd hit such a low.

my thoughts are scattered.
im forever without peace.

i just wish i could fix it all.