my life insid of a hamster wheel.

[death_to_desire]

so, i've come the conclusion that my life is going no where.
every time i take a step, my foot comes right back.
it is so dumb.
i don't know what i have to do to get out of here, not necessarily the physical here, but this mental state.
my dad asked me if i was depressed today.
i told him i wasn't happy.
he later left me a voice mail saying all of the things dads are supposed to say to their distressed children.
things like "you take things to hard on yourself" and "you'll be good at whatever it is you end up doing"

band-aid phrases.

those never seem to work on me.
it takes a lot for me to get motivated.
i wish it didn't.
i wish i were stupid, and that i could believe everything that i'm told without question.
that would be awesome, i'd never argue with anyone, and i could probably have a healthy relationship with a woman.

but no.

i'm sunk.