(no subject)
Jill called me today and asked me if I wanted to work from five to eleven. I was still half asleep but I remember her laughing at me because I was so tired. It was funny. And I think I'm gonna quit the BP. Working two jobs. Not having any time for myself. All I ever do is work and sleep. And all the stress is ruining me. running me ragged. It almost ruined my relationship with taylor. We were talking last night and I really did think that we were going to end up breaking up. And I know it's all because of the attitude I've had. Every little thing about people... and everything else for that matter pisses me off. I can't be haplpy for more than five minutes before I end up getting mad at someone for something piddly. Sometimes it just feels like I'm not capeable of taking care of myself. That or no one will let me. Even if it's just something as stupid as going and finding a book for myself at barnes and nobel. I went there today and picked out a new novel by chuck pahlinuk. After I went and found my mom, to see if she'd buy it for me until I could pay her back, taylor took over and got it for me. I was so excited about finally finding it and having the chance to get it that when he went and got it to show my mom instead of me. I lost it. And I don't even know why my temper's been so short lately. I'm just so sick of it all. everything. Not being able to do what I want. When I want... when I have the chance. Everyone's always gotta do it for me. I just.... I need a break. from life. from people. from always being nice. I get paid for being uber nice to everyone. When I get out of work I don't want to be nice. I want to hang someone by their intestines from a ceiling fan. I hate people.