(no subject)
So, Aya's not straight.
He's nice, for Aya, to young girls. Some young girls. I thought I wanted It was easier telling myself it was because I don't have breasts.
I never should have let Omi convince me this was a good idea. Yeah, it's easier writing something on a screen than walking up to Aya, but he doesn't want me here. Or anywhere. If I'd just asked him if he wanted to fuck me, he would have said no. This could have been over a month ago.
I was going to ignore him. I couldn't have posted for this week if I didn't think he wasn't going to read it. He did. He agrees I was young and stupid. I didn't expect anything different.
Why is he reading my posts? Why did he bookmark my drunk post when he finds me so disgusting?
What is it with me and jerks?
I didn't want to know he wasn't straight. I wish I could say I was just skimming other people's posts, but I wasn't. I was going to post and I just had to check if he had. It's a question about his sex life and I'm too curious about that.
He's so different here. I believe people anyway, but the sort of things he's saying here *seem* more honest. I never would have guessed about the poetry, but it makes sense.
It all makes sense. Aya would want someone as smart as he is. I don't remember the last time I borrowed something from the library. Even in high school, I was good enough at football that there were ways around schoolwork.
But it'd be weird if he worried more about my mind than my body. If all he wanted was sex, I could do that, if it meant he touched me. I've done it before, bite my lip, tell no one, and keep my hands to myself. Kase hated me, too, though I didn't know it at the time.
I'd probably be lucky if Aya hated me. I'd have a chance. Aya doesn't care what I do as long as it's away from him and doesn't damage missions.
If this was going to get in the way of Weiss, I would have already blown it. Siberian can be professional. I can get over Aya.
I probably just need to get laid. I'd go hit on Youji if he wasn't Aya wouldn't ask why my eyes are red didn't smoke.