Apologies and mistakes
I’ve made a lot of mistakes in the last few years, and I haven’t been the nicest of person, but I regret that. I’ve blown up at my friends, I’ve been paranoid and accused people, and I’ve laughed when things aren’t funny. But, in the last year I’ve probably done the worst thing yet, I’ve forgotten people. I started keeping to my self, because I didn’t feel wanted, I thought my friends didn’t want me around, but it was really me. I started keeping to myself and slowly, I faded away, and forgot everyone. I know it was wrong of me, but I never knew I was doing it. And, one day no one called, no one wanted to come over, and no one invited me any where, I thought it was because they didn’t want me there, but I see now that I didn’t really want to go. Not because I was sick, but I guess I didn’t really want to be around people, I didn’t want them to give me hugs, and I wasn’t comfortable with any one… and that’s not like me. I love my friends, every one of the, and I want them to be part of my life forever, but I can’t do that if I don’t tell them I’m sorry first, so here it goes:
To Emily: Em, you’ve always been there for me, you’ve always been my best friend, and I’m sorry that I haven’t really been there for you in the last few years. It seems like we’ve been falling out, but I really wish that we could do more together, I really want to spend more time with my friends, because they are the things that will always be there for you. I really love to have you around, and I wish I could be there for you more. We should really do a lot more together. Please forgive me.
Your best friend,
Chelsea
To Aislin: Hey Al, what ever happened to us? We use to hang out all the time, and now we don’t really hang out at all. I miss that, I really miss being involved with everyone. It really seems that I’ve pushed everyone out of my life, and I don’t want that, I really don’t. I’m sorry for letting all of my friends go; I want to take it back. I know this won’t make things any better, but… I’m sorry, please forgive me, we should really do something, like soon. We should all get together and have a party, or something!
Chelsea
To Patrick: Patrick, do you remember when we use to talk all the time, where did that go? This all probably seems repetitive, but since well, you know… everything…um but I’ve really began to realize that, I really did push everyone out, I thought I was still friends with everyone, but I really was just falling out. I really want to thank you more than apologize, so thanks! Thank you for all the help you’ve ever given me, with out you, I don’t really know if I’d be writhing this right now. A lot of people must say that, but it’s true, please believe me. I wish we were as close as we were last year, but that’s ok, we still talk a little. So thank you, for everything.
Chelsea
To Jenny: Jenny, the girl behind the scenes, the person who always makes the show happen, but no one can tell, I guess that’s the way of our best tech/curtain/costumes/props person ever. Jenny want I love most about you is that you’re always there to listen to every one, and it’s really hypocritical of us to expect you to hear our voices, when we never listen to you. We should all take time to here your problems and not just expect our friendship to be a one way street. So I’m sorry, Jenny.
Chelsea
To Michael: The falling out between us is something that I will probably never be able to fix. I wish we could be friends again, but… we never really talk any more, we use to be really good friends, but things change. I really wish that I could repair what has happened to us, but in this case I’m not the only one who broke apart, I don’t mean to sound cruel, but that is what happened. I’m sorry for everything, but I wish you happiness in every decision that you make. I want to be friends, but you need to decide that to, I’m sorry. I guess we’re more former friends at this point. (Not meaning I hate you)
Chelsea
To Gabe: You are and amazing person. And I would like to thank you for dealing with me, I know sometimes I can just be so mad that I lash out at you, and trust me I always feel so guilty after that. I want to try to stop doing that, I really do, but really thank you for seeming so understanding.
Chelsea
And Finally… To Cam: Thank you for everything, especially, for opening my eyes to everything that I’ve done. And I’m sorry, for all the pain. Please forgive me.
No matter what,
Chelsea
There are probably so many people I am forgetting, but to any one that I have hurt, please believe me when I tell you I’m sorry. I don’t mean to appear the way I do, it’s just that I’ve had a rough life, and sometimes it’s hard to cope. Sometimes I just wish to be different, but then I’d only be deceiving my self.
The only way for me to live with my self is to accept what has happened, and deal with it.
Ps. Please some one do something with me...invite me som where or anything, please, i'm trying to get better, i really am, it just really feels like i have no friends at the moment.
good night
and
good bye
cmsmith