(no subject)
so im sitting on the lounge infront of the fire trying to warm up. im full. ive just eaten a plate full of chips and gravey. im going to crawel into bed soon and try and sleep. i had planned to do sooo much, but i 1)cant bring myself to do it because im in the why the fuck should it do it by myself.
2) i think im depressed alot more then i have been willing to admitt. this is not working out the way it was meant to. all i want to do is cry and i cant cry anymore. i just want to crawel into a ball in disappear. the cracks are forming and i see the path this is taking and its not pretty.
im having a omg what have i done. i cant go back, and i cant seem to go forward. was it worth all of this? i dont know. im questing every tiny thing. why cant i just be me and be happy.im beinging to thing that we are never meant to be happy. hmmpf. youd almost think i was the one dumped. but i chose this path. now i have to walk it. but im walking alone. and its alot tougher then i thought. i thought there would be more support? umm i dont know what i thought. i dont know what i expected, but whatever it was it wasnt this.
im sorry everyone. i have yet again runied everything. im my own worst enmey.
2) i think im depressed alot more then i have been willing to admitt. this is not working out the way it was meant to. all i want to do is cry and i cant cry anymore. i just want to crawel into a ball in disappear. the cracks are forming and i see the path this is taking and its not pretty.
im having a omg what have i done. i cant go back, and i cant seem to go forward. was it worth all of this? i dont know. im questing every tiny thing. why cant i just be me and be happy.im beinging to thing that we are never meant to be happy. hmmpf. youd almost think i was the one dumped. but i chose this path. now i have to walk it. but im walking alone. and its alot tougher then i thought. i thought there would be more support? umm i dont know what i thought. i dont know what i expected, but whatever it was it wasnt this.
im sorry everyone. i have yet again runied everything. im my own worst enmey.