Apr 04, 2008 15:11
I grow...concerned with myself.
My Lord could be attempting to contact me, and if he were I would never know, not as this. He could have returned, could require my service, and I am...gone. Yet I find I'm hesitant to ask Eros to return me. I don't want to leave him alone. Not while he remains.
I shouldn't be here. I shouldn't be constraining myself to this weak, pathetic form if the option exists to return to who I am truly exists, yet here I remain.
Why?
I sacrifice myself, and I do it for him. I don't...I can't understand why. I run and rerun the simulators on this scenario every time I return to myself, and every time it turns up the same--frivolous. Waste of time. Worthless. And yet I return. Endlessly I am drawn back to this, to him.
Bound to him.
Would die for him. Nearly did.
And I don't understand why.
eros,
human wtf,
emo robobitch angst,
gisborne