I HATE BEING FEMALE!
Well tis that time of the month and i had a good day today :) apart from the lack of sleep from pain so i was tired and i just couldn't be arsed with the whole going to cardiff to practice stuff for disney and the fact that i started to depress myself towards the end of phil's visit and have convinced myself yet again that he's gunna get fed up of me and my issues n bored and will leave me. Doesn't entirely be helped by phil telling me he did a major bit of flirting last night :P i know he doesn't mean anything by it tho :), but i having a insecure day and i'm feeling rather guilty for it :( coz i was having fun up until then, even if phil seemed rather distant which made me paranoid aslo lol coz i thought i had done something ...but he did seem a tad distant yest aswell...........think it may just be me tho
Really can't be arsed with an entry right at this moment to be honest u may have noticed due to like spelling a punctuation is even worse than usual
Gotta go school tomoz ...i can't be arsed to do that either ...don't think i will, think i'll just do the work at home.
I wanna have my ear pierced again.
I hate being female(at this time of the month anyway), I hate being insecure, i hate being emotional, i hte ...well i hate me, tell you what i don't hate tho ....phil! i don't hate him, not one bit, i love him lots and lots and lots and lots!
he has no computer at the mo :( he broke it again :P. Wish he could stay over for a few days, not to do anything naughty like coz i don't think i'm ready for that yet, lol may want it but i got crap confidence and plus i'd rather be on the pill b4 anything like that happens, gotta have lots of protection lol coz knowing my luck one will go wrong, eg, brake and we don't want that now do we? .. maybe in many years lol but not now...nuh! no but dropping all dirty thoughts ...*attempts to clear mind but fails* ...*shrugs* ... lol i want him to stay for a few days ..just so he is her and all the cuddling and sleeping together (real sleeping now u dirty gits) and all the awwness lol i dunno just want him here. He won't be able too tho :( so there isn't much point in thinking about it really but hey.
Grrr at hormones :( i miss him loads, and feel really stupid for depressing myself especailly infornt of him and also that gunna be the last memory he has until i see him again which isn't until wednesday *sulks*
not going to school tomz now, told mum i didn't want too lol she wasn't too pleased but nevermind.
i gunna shut up now and just think to myself
Enjoy your holiday Rach
Pretend you didn't read this phil ...if u ever get ur computer working again :P I love you.
Nick write in your damn journal! lol :P
n the rest ...that i don't actually think read this anymore ... hey!
Toodles folks
xXx
Really can't be arsed with an entry right at this moment to be honest u may have noticed due to like spelling a punctuation is even worse than usual
Gotta go school tomoz ...i can't be arsed to do that either ...don't think i will, think i'll just do the work at home.
I wanna have my ear pierced again.
I hate being female(at this time of the month anyway), I hate being insecure, i hate being emotional, i hte ...well i hate me, tell you what i don't hate tho ....phil! i don't hate him, not one bit, i love him lots and lots and lots and lots!
he has no computer at the mo :( he broke it again :P. Wish he could stay over for a few days, not to do anything naughty like coz i don't think i'm ready for that yet, lol may want it but i got crap confidence and plus i'd rather be on the pill b4 anything like that happens, gotta have lots of protection lol coz knowing my luck one will go wrong, eg, brake and we don't want that now do we? .. maybe in many years lol but not now...nuh! no but dropping all dirty thoughts ...*attempts to clear mind but fails* ...*shrugs* ... lol i want him to stay for a few days ..just so he is her and all the cuddling and sleeping together (real sleeping now u dirty gits) and all the awwness lol i dunno just want him here. He won't be able too tho :( so there isn't much point in thinking about it really but hey.
Grrr at hormones :( i miss him loads, and feel really stupid for depressing myself especailly infornt of him and also that gunna be the last memory he has until i see him again which isn't until wednesday *sulks*
not going to school tomz now, told mum i didn't want too lol she wasn't too pleased but nevermind.
i gunna shut up now and just think to myself
Enjoy your holiday Rach
Pretend you didn't read this phil ...if u ever get ur computer working again :P I love you.
Nick write in your damn journal! lol :P
n the rest ...that i don't actually think read this anymore ... hey!
Toodles folks
xXx