guess what we'll discover (2/11)
Pairing: Jeff/Annie
Spoilers: Only for the 3x01 episode title
Word Count: 5939
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Description: Jeff gets a new roommate
Author’s Note: You all rock. Seriously. Double rainbows to you all.
Once again, beta credit goes to 0penhearts who is the BEST.
~*~*~
“Are you suuuure this is a good idea Annie?” Britta’s voice is tinged with a mixed of condescension and concern. Shirley hums in agreement.
“It’s FINE, I promise.” Annie pushes an olive around her plate, looking up to see her friends exchanging a glance across the table. “Really.”
“But Jeff? Do you really want an inside look into how that guy lives on a daily basis?” Britta twists her mouth up as if she’s tasted something foul.
“That guy? He’s not some stranger off the street, Britta. Besides, you didn’t seem to have a problem sleeping around with that guy for over a year. Why can’t I stay on his couch for a few weeks?” Annie raises an eyebrow pointedly and Britta levels her with a glare.
“But sweetie. This is completely different. We all know that you have feelings for him and it’s completely understandable because that boy certainly knows how to fill out a pair of jeans--” Britta snorts at this. “But I really don’t think it’s the best idea for you to--”
“Shirley!” Annie sputters loud enough that several people in the restaurant turn and stare. She smiles apologetically and leans forward, lowering her voice. “I do NOT have feelings for him. Not anymore.”
“Annie. You say that. And you might think it’s true. But whenever the two of you spend time together…” Britta trails off and shrugs apologetically.
It takes all of Annie’s energy not to throw her fork down and slump into her chair like a petulant child. Her friends mean well and it’s not unexpected but she’s offended by the assumption that she’ll somehow be unable to keep from falling madly in love with Jeff Winger over the course of a couple measly weeks.
After counting backwards from ten, and taking a deep breath, she smiles. “Thank you for your input, but I assure you that whatever attachment I had to Jeff has been long forgotten.” She pauses, knowing that her next words will have the desired affect. “Besides, I know him too well now. He would make a terrible boyfriend. Remember what happened with Melissa?”
Britta lets out a short laugh. “And he tells me I have issues.”
“That poor girl. She never saw it coming.”
Annie nods and then listens, pleased, as the two women across from her stray down a path of reminiscing about the last woman Jeff had briefly dated and the abrupt way he had broken it off after a stray comment from her about whether he had ever considered hair plugs.
“So!” she breaks in brightly ten minutes later when the conversation has transitioned away from Jeff’s vanity to the disturbing rumor that Pierce had brought a Speedo for his cruise and what the current over-under was on him being left to drown somewhere at sea. “I can count on you guys to help me move, right?”
~*~*~
It takes three days to pack her life into very organized and specifically coded boxes.
True to his word, Jeff doesn’t help with the moving process - only offering brief direction towards Britta when she staggers into his apartment carrying a box of books. She lobs one at his head and he laughs and ducks out of the way as it smashes into the wall beside him.
True to her word, Annie doesn’t ask for his help, passive-aggressively or otherwise, but a half an hour after the book incident, the Dominos delivery guy shows up with a stack of pizzas and Jeff pulls his wallet out without saying anything and then mentions vaguely to everyone that there’s soda in the fridge.
As soon as all Annie’s belongings are piled into the corner of the living room, Abed hijacks the television remote and they all lounge around, eating pizza and watching a Star Wars marathon until Shirley leaves to get home to the boys and Britta scurries out, mumbling something vague about dinner plans that Jeff scoffs at once she’s gone.
“Sure, with her cats and a History Channel documentary about human trafficking.”
“I don’t know Jeff,” Annie says slowly. They’re sitting on opposite ends of the couch while Abed perches at the edge of the armchair watching the movie with rapt attention. “I kind of get the feeling lately like she’s hiding something.”
“Why would she hide a boyfriend from us?”
“Oh, I don’t know. We normally handle that kind of stuff sooooo well.”
Jeff frowns at her without taking his eyes off the screen. “We were nice to that idiot you dated.”
Annie laughs, “See?” She looks up towards Abed for support and notices then that he’s stopped watching the movie and is now watching them with contemplative, observant eyes. It leaves her feeling discomfited and she shifts awkwardly in her seat.
“I should go.” Abed stands up quickly and nods as if approving of his own decision.
Jeff barely looks up. “You got a hot date too, buddy?” he laughs.
Abed continues on as if he hadn’t spoken. “I wish I could stay. The fun part’s just starting.” His eyes flicker back and forth between Jeff and Annie as the latter’s unease increases exponentially.
“What?” Jeff finally looks up, confused, and points at the television, “You can stay and watch the end.”
“Nevermind.” Abed holds up a finger. “Spoilers.” There’s an almost breathless excitement in his voice and he turns quickly and slips out the door.
Jeff stares after him, clearly amused. “Uh, pretty sure I already know how this one ends.” He glances over at Annie and takes in her perplexed face. “Oh Jesus, Annie, please tell me you’ve seen Star Wars.”
“Yes. I’ve seen Star Wars.” She relaxes and tries to push the possible meaning behind Abed’s words out of her head. “The Ewoks were always my favorite.”
He turns toward her slowly, “Annie.”
“What?! They’re cuddly and they have a lot of personality and they end up being quite helpful.”
“Fine,” he allows after brief consideration. “But if you say you actually liked Jar-Jar Binks? You’re out on the street.”
She side-eyes him before slouching down against the armrest with her arms folded over her chest, “You’re a nerd.”
“Pshhhh. Whatever. You don’t have to be a nerd to see when one character practically ruins an entire movie franchise.”
“Wow,” Annie mouths silently. Jeff tosses a throw pillow at her head and she giggles as she catches it and clutches it to her chest.
He’s smiling too a little bit and it’s comfortable and any feelings of awkwardness Abed left in his wake suddenly disappear and Annie wants to shout in triumph because, SEE? Everything is going to be just fine.
~*~*~
When her alarm chirps bright and early in the morning, Annie’s momentarily disoriented, peering through bleary eyes at where her cell phone vibrates on the coffee table, at the pile of boxes and clothes lined up along the wall and - oh yeah.
This isn’t exactly the way she had once fantasized about waking up in Jeff's apartment - slipping on one of his button-down shirts, making coffee barefoot in the kitchen, waking him up with a few well placed kisses along his neck and collarbone until he stirred and wrapped his arms around her and… Nope. Nope. Nope. Annie shakes her head to get rid of the image. Not going there.
With a loud sigh, she stretches her arms over her head, trying to psych herself up for the day and week ahead. She’s spending the summer working full time at a local pediatrician’s office, learning the ins and outs of managing a medical office and so far she loves it and loves the patients and all her co-workers but the 9 to 5 thing is kind of exhausting.
The phone chimes again and Annie kicks the sheets off her legs and sort of rolls herself off the couch - at almost the exact moment that Jeff’s bedroom door opens and he’s shuffling out and scratching the back of his head, mouth open in a wide yawn.
--and wearing only a pair of his infamous striped underwear - blue and white, this time.
“Oh!” Annie squeaks, holding her hand to her chest.
“Uh.” He blinks at her like he’s forgotten why she’s there and then they just stare at each other until it’s officially super weird.
“You go first,” they say in unison and then start stuttering and stammering, cutting each other off and waving vaguely toward the bathroom until Jeff shakes his head and disappears back into his room.
Annie stands still, biting her lip and fighting back the strange wave of nerves that rolls over her. It’s possible that she hadn’t taken into account the finer points of living with a man - especially when that man is Jeff Winger and he’s got a body that sometimes she’d just like to…
A shower. She really needs a shower.
She locks herself in the bathroom and stands under the spray of water, letting it run colder than normal so that she shivers a little.
She is completely over him. She has been for a while now. He had made it perfectly clear that nothing was ever going to happen and once that had finally sunk into her head, Annie had moved on.
Last year had been about Trevor and his dimples and the way he waited for her sometimes after class and returned her calls and actually wanted to be with her, and there hadn’t been a lot of time to obsess over every stupid moment with Jeff - because okay, sure, there are times when he smiles or stands too close and she maybe might still feel something - a shiver, a zap of warmth in her stomach, the need to pull even closer. But it’s just the lingering remnants of old feelings that are long since gone. A phantom limb of feelings, really.
She’s an adult. And Jeff is an adult. And they’re friends. And she fully intends on proving that she’s capable of not falling in love with everyone who spares her a second glance, of not falling into that trap of wanting to catalogue every look, every touch, every secret moment that could mean more. If Jeff’s going to insist on walking around half naked, well then… she’s a woman, right? She can appreciate that. It doesn’t have to mean anything.
With a resolute nod Annie grabs the shampoo bottle from the edge of the bathtub and squirts some into her hand. But she’s not paying attention and it’s Jeff’s shampoo - the familiar scent of him suddenly wafting around her and causing a jolt of sensation in her stomach.
It would probably be a good idea to start that apartment search as soon as possible. Just to be safe.
~*~*~
“Wingeeeeeerrrrrrr.”
“Huh?” Jeff realizes that he’s been staring into space and focuses quickly on the man in front of him. Alan’s leaning forward with his hands planted on the desk, kind of swaying his ass back and forth. He waggles his eyebrows.
“Duuuuuude. You’re so out of it right now. You uhhhh?” He looks around to make sure no one’s watching and then holds two fingers to his mouth, miming smoking a joint. “And why haven’t you shared it with me yet? COME ON, MAN. I thought we were friends.”
Jeff shakes his head and grabs a file off the stack sitting in front of him. “I’m not high. This isn’t a Kevin Smith movie.”
“Uggggggggggh.” Alan stands up, tugging at his tie. “When did you get so boring? What the hell is this?” He gestures at the piles of blue folders all over the desk. “What are you doing? Who assigned this to you? Your boss must be a real asshole… Oh wait.” He laughs loudly, looking around, this time to make sure people are watching, “That’s me.”
“Look, Alan,” Jeff interrupts before the other man can launch into another disgusting line of self-congratulating humble brags - and he helped this douchebag get a promotion, why? “I didn’t get a lot of sleep last night.”
Alan’s eyes light up, “Yeaaaaaaaah? What was her name? Not that it matters.” He sends a wink to the assistant across the hallway. She smiles thinly, turning away and Alan scoffs as he points his thumb at her, “Someone needs to develop a sense of humor.” He leans back over Jeff’s desk. “So, do I know her?”
“Probably not, she didn’t cost money,” Jeff mutters and then jerks back as Alan laughs loudly and punches him playfully in the chest.
“This guy!” He mimes fingers guns at Jeff as he walks backwards, almost slamming into an intern with a huge stack of files in her arms. “Woah, woah. WOAH.” Alan takes one look at the woman’s face and his attention is suddenly, completely, diverted. “Let me help you with that.” He grabs the files from her, making sure to take a long look down her blouse once the view is unobstructed.
The unsuspecting intern smiles gratefully as Alan follows her down the hallway, leering at her ass without any trace of shame. Jeff presses his thumb against the bridge of his nose and stares down at the deposition in front of him, trying to re-focus his attention.
But nope. There’s that image again, the one from this morning, of Annie with her hair out of place from sleep as she blinked at him drowsily in a way that made him want to do irrational things like step forward and trace his finger along the strap of her camisole where it hung down her shoulder and... dammit, the whole thing is just entirely too distracting.
He checks the clock. Alan’s been gone for about three minutes, which means that Jeff has about thirty seconds to find him and intercept a sexual harassment lawsuit in the making. Really, he should just let the man go down in flames, but Alan's always up for getting a drink, no matter what time of day and Jeff needs to not be sitting around here fucking daydreaming about Annie in her adorable sleepwear.
Yeah, he really has to learn how to say no to her.
~*~*~
The next few days are… weird.
Neither of them are home a lot but they’re bouncing off each other in different ways than ever before and it’s disconcerting. It’s more than being at Greendale and walking through the hallways together and arguing about biology assignments - It’s showering in the same bathroom and coming home late to find Annie sound asleep on the couch. It’s grocery shopping and Jeff eating that last avocado and putting an empty carton of orange juice back in the fridge instead of throwing it away.
“Guys actually DO that?” She had exclaimed into the empty apartment one night while searching for something to eat.
Annie’s never lived with a man before (other than her father, and that doesn’t count) and it’s a little like opening up a new window into who Jeff Winger is and she’s not sure what she expected - that he lounged around in expensive suits, drinking expensive alcohol and smoking expensive cigars while sleek, bleached blonde women with fake boobs walked in and out of the apartment at all hours of the day and night?
Because it turns out that living with Jeff is only strange in how quiet and normal it is.
He does sometimes have a glass of scotch when he comes home from work but it’s usually while watching some rerun of America’s Next Top Model and he does go out at night and come back late but he’s always alone. The only other woman that she’s ever seen in his apartment in the elderly lady next door who comes over with cookies or to ask Jeff to open jars of spaghetti sauce.
One morning, though, Annie's standing in the kitchen pouring a glass of orange juice, assuming Jeff is still tucked away safely in his room when a key turns in the lock, scaring her half to death and he strolls in with unkempt hair, in last night’s clothes.
For a split second she images that he looks almost embarrassed when he catches her eye but she turns away quickly, surprised at the tightening in her stomach.
He heads toward the bathroom without saying a word and Annie finds that the toast she had been in the middle of eating is suddenly too dry and tasteless.
~*~*~
She’s been living there over a week when Jeff comes home one night, earlier than normal, while she’s in the middle of making dinner. His keys land on the coffee table with a loud clatter and he kicks his shoes off to the side as he makes his way toward the kitchen and grabs a glass from the cabinet over Annie’s head.
“Hey,” she starts cheerfully.
Jeff rubs a hand over his face and gives her a half-smile as he pours a splash of scotch and immediately downs it, wincing a little and then pouring some more. Annie raises an eyebrow but doesn’t say anything.
“What are you making?” he questions after a moment.
“Grilled cheese.” She meets his gaze with a shrug. “I was in the mood for comfort food.”
He looks like he want to say something and she’s about to offer to make him one when he abruptly turns away.
“I’m going to bed.”
Annie laughs and glances up at the LCD readout on the microwave. “It’s only 6:30.”
“Yup.” He clutches the glass to his chest and then on second thought grabs the entire bottle of Macallan as he passes by the counter.
A twinge of concern makes Annie bite her lip as she watches him carefully. “Are you okay?”
“Huh?” He doesn’t look at her, just laughs dryly as heads toward his room. “Yeah. Just. Work stuff. Doesn’t matter. Night.” The door gets kicked shut behind him.
~*~*~
It’s six hours later and Annie can’t sleep.
The sheets are tangled around her legs and she kicks at them in frustration as she flails her arm out to the side to reach for her cell phone to check the time again. If she falls asleep right now she can get five and a half hours of sleep before she has to get up for work.
The silence of the apartment bears down on her as she stares at the ceiling. Yeah, it’s not happening. The couch is actually pretty comfortable but after three years of living above Dildopolis, she had gotten used to falling asleep to a constant thrum of noise and chatter; the quiet of Jeff’s apartment building is too empty, heavy with what isn’t there.
With a final kick she shakes the sheets completely off and they flutter to the floor in a heap as she flops over onto her side and glares at Jeff’s bedroom door, behind which he’s probably passed out drunk after drinking too much scotch and being tortured by whatever it is he won’t talk about.
It’s times like this she wishes she could be Britta because Britta would have barged in there and demanded to know what his deal was and they would have shouted loudly at each other through thinly veiled witticisms until they got bored… or just ended up having really angry sex. Or something.
She turns her head into the pillow and groans, then flings herself up off the couch and pads towards the kitchen, not even bothering to turn the light on. A few days ago she had noticed a stray pint of Ben and Jerry’s buried in the bottom of the freezer and Jeff’s always whining about carbs anyway, he’ll probably never notice it’s gone.
But she’s just hoisted herself onto the counter and put the first spoonful of brownie fudge ice cream in her mouth when his bedroom door opens. Annie freezes, feeling like a kid caught out of bed. She’s hidden in the darkness of the kitchen so he doesn’t see her as he walks in and goes to open the fridge but it’s officially creepy if she doesn’t say anything, right?
She clears her throat, “Hey.”
Jeff jumps and smacks his shoulder into the fridge door.
“Jesus, Annie.”
“Sorry,” she whispers.
“What are you doing?”
“Um.” She holds up the ice cream and spoon, shrugging. “I’ll replace it?”
Jeff huffs out a tired laugh, “Ice cream at midnight?”
“I couldn’t sleep.”
“Pretty sure the sugar rush isn’t going to help you with that one.” But he opens the drawer to pull out another spoon. Annie grins as she takes another mouthful and then holds the pint out toward him. He leans against the counter next to her and they pass the ice cream back and forth in silence for a few minutes.
Annie regards his profile as he’s taking a bite, his eyes closing as he drags the spoon out over his tongue.
“Are you drunk?”
Jeff looks up at her in surprise. “What?”
“You locked yourself in your room earlier with a bottle of alcohol.” She’s trying desperately not to sound like she’s judging him, or nagging.
For a moment he looks kind of sheepish. “Nah. I fell asleep before I even finished the first glass.”
“Oh.” Annie pokes at the ice cream, picking out a brownie bit and popping it in her mouth. “Did you have a bad day at work?”
“Mmm.” And she half expects that he’ll say something snarky and shrug it off so her eyes widen when he murmurs, “Alan’s an ass.”
“We already knew that, Jeff.”
“Yeah but… I never cared about it before.” He looks up at her pointedly before continuing. “We went to a strip club for lunch.”
Annie’s nose wrinkles up in distaste.
“See!” Jeff waves his hand at her. “That’s the problem! I picture THAT face. And Britta launching into a tirade about the objectification of women. And Shirley saying, ‘oh that’s NOT nice.” And then there’s Pierce being… well, Pierce. And you guys have completely ruined me.” He turns himself around and drops his spoon in the sink, braces his hands on the counter and scowls at her.
It takes super human effort not to start laughing because he seems so completely distraught. “Jeff, if you think I’m going to feel sorry for you because you can’t enjoy yourself at a strip club in the middle of the day, I’m sorry but-”
“It’s not even…” He tilts his head to the side, “He got me fired.”
“I know,” Annie says quietly.
“And I want to punch him in the face all the fucking time but I can’t because I do want to work there again and I actually like Ted and-”
Annie finally sighs and cuts him off with a pat on his head. “Oh Jeff, you’re growing up.”
His eyes flicker up to her hand and the corners of his mouth twitch before he looks back down at the sink. “I’m getting old.” There’s a vulnerability in his words that makes Annie’s heart constrict, makes her want to jump down off the counter and wrap herself around him. She settles for sliding her hand down to his shoulder, curling her fingers in.
“There’s a difference between getting old and not being an asshole.”
His eyebrows reach into his hairline at her choice of words.
Annie flushes. “What?”
Jeff laughs and shakes his head, pushes away from the counter. “Nothing. I’m tired. I’m gonna.” He nods his head toward his room and Annie nods. For a brief second, as he watches her intently, she imagines that he leans toward her a bit, enough to make her breath catch in her throat. But in a blink he’s gone, headed around the corner back to his room.
“Goodnight Jeff.”
He smiles back at her, the corners of his eyes crinkling and Annie finds herself staring into space in the darkened kitchen long after she hears his door shut.
~*~*~
Jeff comes home two days later to find Britta on the couch, her feet propped up on the coffee table as she flips through channels on the TV, looking bored.
“Britta,” he states dryly, a hint of a question in his voice as he throws his keys and wallet on the table by the door
She barely glances up at him. “What are you doing here?”
“Uh, the last time I checked it was my name on the lease. Now get your boots off my furniture.”
Britta toes the corner of the table and makes it rock back and forth on its uneven legs. “Oh I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scuff up this mint condition artifact.”
“Why can’t you just wear flip flops and sandals like 95% of women in America? It’s summer. Paint your toes hot pink. Live a little,” he leans toward her with a condescending smirk.
“Uh. Cause I’m not a lemur.”
“Lemming.”
Britta purses her lips and looks slightly abashed. “I know!”
Jeff grins and heads toward the kitchen. “Seriously. Why are you here.”
“I’m helping Annie get ready for her date.”
As if on cue, the woman in question emerges from the bathroom. “You’re home! Sorry. It’s a mess in here right now. But I’ll clean it up.”
With one hand on the fridge door, Jeff freezes as he takes in her outfit - a purple and white polka dot sundress that cinches at her rib cage and falls to about mid-thigh. Her hair is down around her shoulders and slightly more tussled than normal, eye make-up a little darker so that her blue eyes seem even wider. It’s not scandalous by any means, just… that’s a lot of skin left visible.
Jeff tears his eyes away and pretends that something absolutely fascinating is happening on the top shelf of the fridge. “Whatever.”
He hears Britta saying something but concentrates instead on the cool air hitting his skin. It’s not like he hasn’t seen her in a dress before and some of those strips of material she calls skirts are significantly shorter but there’s something in the Annie that is currently standing in his living room that makes it harder to deny that’s she an adult and an actual viable…
Wait, did she say date?
As casually as possible he heads back into the living room, stepping over Britta’s legs as he hands her a beer and drops down next to her on the couch. Annie’s disappeared back into the bathroom and Britta’s suddenly riveted to the goings-on on the television screen.
“What the hell are you watching?”
“CSPAN.”
“Of course.” He waits a beat. “So. Annie’s got a date.”
Britta whips her head around and is suddenly in his face as she points her finger at his chest and leans in close, “Don’t,” she whisper-hisses.
“What?!” Jeff rears back.
“Oh please. You know what you’re doing.”
“Getting my head chewed off for asking a simple question?”
“No. Being a jealous douche.”
“Jealous?” He makes a noise that is clearly meant to signify that she’s crazy. “Your mom’s jealous.”
Britta grins as Jeff closes his eyes and shakes his head, realizing immediately how nonsensical a comeback that was.
“Whatever. I was just showing interest. That’s what friends do, right?”
“Uh-huh. Well since you’re SO interested.” She actually finger-quotes interested. “Then yes. Annie has a date.”
“Britta set me up with him.” They both look up to see Annie in the doorway of the bathroom, holding onto the doorframe as she slips on a pair of black ballet flats.
“Oh. Britta found him? Well, then he’s sure to be a winner.”
Both women roll their eyes at him. “He works at the cat shelter I go to,” Britta says with a flip of her hair. Like that’s meant to be impressive or something.
“Please don’t tell me this is another stringy haired hippy.”
“Vaughn didn’t have stringy hair. But no. His name’s Josh and he’s a nice guy. Not that you would know anything about that.”
Jeff ignores the insult and presses on. “So why aren’t you dating him? Oh.” He leans in and drops his voice to a faux whisper, “Did you already bone him?”
“NO.” Britta aims a punch for his shoulder that makes him gasp in pain and twist away.
“What the fuck?!” He rubs his arm with a grimace.
“Well, stop being mean!”
“Ahem,” Annie clears her throat. “If you guys are done acting like children.” She holds her arms out and spins so that the dress sort of twirls around her.
Britta wolf-whistles. “You look hot.”
“Thank you!” Annie beams and then they both look to Jeff who has taken a sudden interest in the proceedings of Congress.
“Oh.” He looks up. “Yeah. You look nice.” His tone is nonchalant but Annie smiles and flushes as if he just told her she looks incredible…and maybe she does. Maybe nice really doesn’t even begin to cover it.
Pull it together, Winger.
He takes a long pull of his beer and attempts to ignore them both as Annie runs through the plan - dinner at that new Mexican restaurant, a movie if everything goes well - in that breathless, excited way of hers that makes him scowl at the television.
“Okay, wish me luck!” And then she’s practically skipping out the door, flushing only slightly when Britta yells out a reminder to “Use protection!”
Jeff clutches his beer bottle tighter as the door slams shut and Britta turns to him with a challenging smile, smug as all hell.
~*~*~
It’s five past one.
Jeff stares at the clock, trying to re-assure himself that he’s read that incorrectly. Yeah. His cell phone confirms the time.
Britta had stayed for pizza and more beer and more fighting over what to watch before leaving sometime around nine when Jeff had started playing a video game and slipped into an almost zombie-like state of glazed eyes as things blew up on-screen and the hours slipped by unnoticed.
And now it’s 1:05 AM and Annie’s still not home.
He checks his phone - no missed calls - turns the ringer all the way up and throws it down on the couch, stalking toward the kitchen for a glass of water. He’s trying not to think like an over protective dad. Or a jealous boyfr- Whatever, he’s neither of these things. But this is Annie. And okay, he doesn’t know a lot about her dating habits - he didn’t even know she had dating habits. There was Vaughn. And Trevor. And in the middle he had just assumed that there was a lot of sitting around in her room and drawing hearts around his name. Or Troy’s. Or Taylor Lautner’s.
Two years ago she hadn’t even been able to say the word penis, but maybe she’s grown up more than he thought. Maybe Annie has a sex life. Maybe Annie goes on first dates that turn into sleepovers that turn into an early morning walks of shame.
There’s a growing pressure behind his eyes. Ugh. Jeff yanks the brand new pint of ice cream out of the freezer - it had shown up there yesterday after Annie had gone shopping - and pops the lid off. He stares at it for a second before changing his mind and throwing it back in the freezer.
~*~*~
At 1:35 he flips idly through the channels, stopping briefly at Silence of the Lambs until Buffalo Bill comes onscreen and Jeff shudders and picks up the remote again. He settles a few minutes later for a bad sci-fi movie about mutant alligators battling giant piranha.
~*~*~
At 1:52 he starts another video game to take his mind of the scenario he’s created in his head where Annie’s lured into the back of a van by a creepy serial killer.
~*~*~
At 1:55 he composes a text message asking where the hell she is. He deletes it immediately.
~*~*~
At 2:03 a key turns in the lock.
Jeff freezes, then kicks his legs onto the coffee table, slumps down into the couch and picks up the video game controller just as the door opens.
“Jeff?”
“Hmmm.” He makes a show of tearing his eyes away from the screen and looking up at her in disinterested fashion. “Oh. Hey.”
Annie’s lips turn up in amusement as she drops her keys and purse by the side of the couch. “Did you wait up for me?”
“What?” Jeff squints at the time display on the DVD player. “Oh, wow. I didn’t realize it was so late… So.” He looks up at her and notes the blue hoodie she’s wearing, unzipped, over her dress. “Good date?”
His question is met with a yawn and then a loud sigh as she makes her way into the kitchen. “It was horrible. He spent the entire dinner talking about his job. Jeff.” She leans over the counter and he cranes his head back to look at her. “He cleans up after hundred of animals every day. His job is gross. And we were eating.”
Jeff makes a face and Annie nods furiously, “Right?! I could barely keep my food down.”
“Huh.” Jeff smiles to himself as he turns back around, then realizes what he’s doing and lets out a long exhale. “But you stayed out till 2 with him anyway?
“No.” Annie flops down next to him with the pint of ice cream and two spoons. “After dinner I called Abed. We went to a double feature at the dollar movie theater.”
Abed?
“Oh.”
“I would have called you too if I knew you were going to be home alone all night.” She hands him a spoon and Jeff takes it with a weak smile. Wow. How did he suddenly become so pathetic?
“Oh I was… I had stuff… to do,” he finishes lamely. Annie smiles, knowingly, and hands him the ice cream, spoon still between her lips. There’s a brightness in her eyes that makes his hands clench but he clears his throat and pokes his spoon into the carton. “So I hope you learned your lesson about going to Britta for matchmaking purposes.”
Her nose scrunches up. “Yeah, I guess.”
“Seriously Annie. It’s Britta. She collects damaged guys like they’re baseball cards.”
Annie glances sideways at him, “Aren’t you part of that collection?”
“ME? No. I’m not damaged.” A slow smirk spreads across his features. “I wouldn’t, however, object to being compared to a collector’s item.” The hand not holding the ice cream drops to his abs.
“Ew.” She wrenches the ice cream away from him but he continues to grin cockily at her until she sighs and tilts her head thoughtfully, “You were waiting up for me.”
“Wha-” Jeff sputters. “No. I was…” He motions toward the television even though he knows it’s futile and the look on her face is one of utter glee.
“Awwww,” she starts but Jeff is shaking his head and getting to his feet, shoving his spoon back into her hand.
“Nope. Nope. I’m going to bed.”
“Jeff!” And now she’s giggling.
He doesn’t look back at her as he escapes to his bedroom and shuts the door firmly behind him.
Well, that’s just… great.
Spoilers: Only for the 3x01 episode title
Word Count: 5939
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Description: Jeff gets a new roommate
Author’s Note: You all rock. Seriously. Double rainbows to you all.
Once again, beta credit goes to 0penhearts who is the BEST.
~*~*~
“Are you suuuure this is a good idea Annie?” Britta’s voice is tinged with a mixed of condescension and concern. Shirley hums in agreement.
“It’s FINE, I promise.” Annie pushes an olive around her plate, looking up to see her friends exchanging a glance across the table. “Really.”
“But Jeff? Do you really want an inside look into how that guy lives on a daily basis?” Britta twists her mouth up as if she’s tasted something foul.
“That guy? He’s not some stranger off the street, Britta. Besides, you didn’t seem to have a problem sleeping around with that guy for over a year. Why can’t I stay on his couch for a few weeks?” Annie raises an eyebrow pointedly and Britta levels her with a glare.
“But sweetie. This is completely different. We all know that you have feelings for him and it’s completely understandable because that boy certainly knows how to fill out a pair of jeans--” Britta snorts at this. “But I really don’t think it’s the best idea for you to--”
“Shirley!” Annie sputters loud enough that several people in the restaurant turn and stare. She smiles apologetically and leans forward, lowering her voice. “I do NOT have feelings for him. Not anymore.”
“Annie. You say that. And you might think it’s true. But whenever the two of you spend time together…” Britta trails off and shrugs apologetically.
It takes all of Annie’s energy not to throw her fork down and slump into her chair like a petulant child. Her friends mean well and it’s not unexpected but she’s offended by the assumption that she’ll somehow be unable to keep from falling madly in love with Jeff Winger over the course of a couple measly weeks.
After counting backwards from ten, and taking a deep breath, she smiles. “Thank you for your input, but I assure you that whatever attachment I had to Jeff has been long forgotten.” She pauses, knowing that her next words will have the desired affect. “Besides, I know him too well now. He would make a terrible boyfriend. Remember what happened with Melissa?”
Britta lets out a short laugh. “And he tells me I have issues.”
“That poor girl. She never saw it coming.”
Annie nods and then listens, pleased, as the two women across from her stray down a path of reminiscing about the last woman Jeff had briefly dated and the abrupt way he had broken it off after a stray comment from her about whether he had ever considered hair plugs.
“So!” she breaks in brightly ten minutes later when the conversation has transitioned away from Jeff’s vanity to the disturbing rumor that Pierce had brought a Speedo for his cruise and what the current over-under was on him being left to drown somewhere at sea. “I can count on you guys to help me move, right?”
~*~*~
It takes three days to pack her life into very organized and specifically coded boxes.
True to his word, Jeff doesn’t help with the moving process - only offering brief direction towards Britta when she staggers into his apartment carrying a box of books. She lobs one at his head and he laughs and ducks out of the way as it smashes into the wall beside him.
True to her word, Annie doesn’t ask for his help, passive-aggressively or otherwise, but a half an hour after the book incident, the Dominos delivery guy shows up with a stack of pizzas and Jeff pulls his wallet out without saying anything and then mentions vaguely to everyone that there’s soda in the fridge.
As soon as all Annie’s belongings are piled into the corner of the living room, Abed hijacks the television remote and they all lounge around, eating pizza and watching a Star Wars marathon until Shirley leaves to get home to the boys and Britta scurries out, mumbling something vague about dinner plans that Jeff scoffs at once she’s gone.
“Sure, with her cats and a History Channel documentary about human trafficking.”
“I don’t know Jeff,” Annie says slowly. They’re sitting on opposite ends of the couch while Abed perches at the edge of the armchair watching the movie with rapt attention. “I kind of get the feeling lately like she’s hiding something.”
“Why would she hide a boyfriend from us?”
“Oh, I don’t know. We normally handle that kind of stuff sooooo well.”
Jeff frowns at her without taking his eyes off the screen. “We were nice to that idiot you dated.”
Annie laughs, “See?” She looks up towards Abed for support and notices then that he’s stopped watching the movie and is now watching them with contemplative, observant eyes. It leaves her feeling discomfited and she shifts awkwardly in her seat.
“I should go.” Abed stands up quickly and nods as if approving of his own decision.
Jeff barely looks up. “You got a hot date too, buddy?” he laughs.
Abed continues on as if he hadn’t spoken. “I wish I could stay. The fun part’s just starting.” His eyes flicker back and forth between Jeff and Annie as the latter’s unease increases exponentially.
“What?” Jeff finally looks up, confused, and points at the television, “You can stay and watch the end.”
“Nevermind.” Abed holds up a finger. “Spoilers.” There’s an almost breathless excitement in his voice and he turns quickly and slips out the door.
Jeff stares after him, clearly amused. “Uh, pretty sure I already know how this one ends.” He glances over at Annie and takes in her perplexed face. “Oh Jesus, Annie, please tell me you’ve seen Star Wars.”
“Yes. I’ve seen Star Wars.” She relaxes and tries to push the possible meaning behind Abed’s words out of her head. “The Ewoks were always my favorite.”
He turns toward her slowly, “Annie.”
“What?! They’re cuddly and they have a lot of personality and they end up being quite helpful.”
“Fine,” he allows after brief consideration. “But if you say you actually liked Jar-Jar Binks? You’re out on the street.”
She side-eyes him before slouching down against the armrest with her arms folded over her chest, “You’re a nerd.”
“Pshhhh. Whatever. You don’t have to be a nerd to see when one character practically ruins an entire movie franchise.”
“Wow,” Annie mouths silently. Jeff tosses a throw pillow at her head and she giggles as she catches it and clutches it to her chest.
He’s smiling too a little bit and it’s comfortable and any feelings of awkwardness Abed left in his wake suddenly disappear and Annie wants to shout in triumph because, SEE? Everything is going to be just fine.
~*~*~
When her alarm chirps bright and early in the morning, Annie’s momentarily disoriented, peering through bleary eyes at where her cell phone vibrates on the coffee table, at the pile of boxes and clothes lined up along the wall and - oh yeah.
This isn’t exactly the way she had once fantasized about waking up in Jeff's apartment - slipping on one of his button-down shirts, making coffee barefoot in the kitchen, waking him up with a few well placed kisses along his neck and collarbone until he stirred and wrapped his arms around her and… Nope. Nope. Nope. Annie shakes her head to get rid of the image. Not going there.
With a loud sigh, she stretches her arms over her head, trying to psych herself up for the day and week ahead. She’s spending the summer working full time at a local pediatrician’s office, learning the ins and outs of managing a medical office and so far she loves it and loves the patients and all her co-workers but the 9 to 5 thing is kind of exhausting.
The phone chimes again and Annie kicks the sheets off her legs and sort of rolls herself off the couch - at almost the exact moment that Jeff’s bedroom door opens and he’s shuffling out and scratching the back of his head, mouth open in a wide yawn.
--and wearing only a pair of his infamous striped underwear - blue and white, this time.
“Oh!” Annie squeaks, holding her hand to her chest.
“Uh.” He blinks at her like he’s forgotten why she’s there and then they just stare at each other until it’s officially super weird.
“You go first,” they say in unison and then start stuttering and stammering, cutting each other off and waving vaguely toward the bathroom until Jeff shakes his head and disappears back into his room.
Annie stands still, biting her lip and fighting back the strange wave of nerves that rolls over her. It’s possible that she hadn’t taken into account the finer points of living with a man - especially when that man is Jeff Winger and he’s got a body that sometimes she’d just like to…
A shower. She really needs a shower.
She locks herself in the bathroom and stands under the spray of water, letting it run colder than normal so that she shivers a little.
She is completely over him. She has been for a while now. He had made it perfectly clear that nothing was ever going to happen and once that had finally sunk into her head, Annie had moved on.
Last year had been about Trevor and his dimples and the way he waited for her sometimes after class and returned her calls and actually wanted to be with her, and there hadn’t been a lot of time to obsess over every stupid moment with Jeff - because okay, sure, there are times when he smiles or stands too close and she maybe might still feel something - a shiver, a zap of warmth in her stomach, the need to pull even closer. But it’s just the lingering remnants of old feelings that are long since gone. A phantom limb of feelings, really.
She’s an adult. And Jeff is an adult. And they’re friends. And she fully intends on proving that she’s capable of not falling in love with everyone who spares her a second glance, of not falling into that trap of wanting to catalogue every look, every touch, every secret moment that could mean more. If Jeff’s going to insist on walking around half naked, well then… she’s a woman, right? She can appreciate that. It doesn’t have to mean anything.
With a resolute nod Annie grabs the shampoo bottle from the edge of the bathtub and squirts some into her hand. But she’s not paying attention and it’s Jeff’s shampoo - the familiar scent of him suddenly wafting around her and causing a jolt of sensation in her stomach.
It would probably be a good idea to start that apartment search as soon as possible. Just to be safe.
~*~*~
“Wingeeeeeerrrrrrr.”
“Huh?” Jeff realizes that he’s been staring into space and focuses quickly on the man in front of him. Alan’s leaning forward with his hands planted on the desk, kind of swaying his ass back and forth. He waggles his eyebrows.
“Duuuuuude. You’re so out of it right now. You uhhhh?” He looks around to make sure no one’s watching and then holds two fingers to his mouth, miming smoking a joint. “And why haven’t you shared it with me yet? COME ON, MAN. I thought we were friends.”
Jeff shakes his head and grabs a file off the stack sitting in front of him. “I’m not high. This isn’t a Kevin Smith movie.”
“Uggggggggggh.” Alan stands up, tugging at his tie. “When did you get so boring? What the hell is this?” He gestures at the piles of blue folders all over the desk. “What are you doing? Who assigned this to you? Your boss must be a real asshole… Oh wait.” He laughs loudly, looking around, this time to make sure people are watching, “That’s me.”
“Look, Alan,” Jeff interrupts before the other man can launch into another disgusting line of self-congratulating humble brags - and he helped this douchebag get a promotion, why? “I didn’t get a lot of sleep last night.”
Alan’s eyes light up, “Yeaaaaaaaah? What was her name? Not that it matters.” He sends a wink to the assistant across the hallway. She smiles thinly, turning away and Alan scoffs as he points his thumb at her, “Someone needs to develop a sense of humor.” He leans back over Jeff’s desk. “So, do I know her?”
“Probably not, she didn’t cost money,” Jeff mutters and then jerks back as Alan laughs loudly and punches him playfully in the chest.
“This guy!” He mimes fingers guns at Jeff as he walks backwards, almost slamming into an intern with a huge stack of files in her arms. “Woah, woah. WOAH.” Alan takes one look at the woman’s face and his attention is suddenly, completely, diverted. “Let me help you with that.” He grabs the files from her, making sure to take a long look down her blouse once the view is unobstructed.
The unsuspecting intern smiles gratefully as Alan follows her down the hallway, leering at her ass without any trace of shame. Jeff presses his thumb against the bridge of his nose and stares down at the deposition in front of him, trying to re-focus his attention.
But nope. There’s that image again, the one from this morning, of Annie with her hair out of place from sleep as she blinked at him drowsily in a way that made him want to do irrational things like step forward and trace his finger along the strap of her camisole where it hung down her shoulder and... dammit, the whole thing is just entirely too distracting.
He checks the clock. Alan’s been gone for about three minutes, which means that Jeff has about thirty seconds to find him and intercept a sexual harassment lawsuit in the making. Really, he should just let the man go down in flames, but Alan's always up for getting a drink, no matter what time of day and Jeff needs to not be sitting around here fucking daydreaming about Annie in her adorable sleepwear.
Yeah, he really has to learn how to say no to her.
~*~*~
The next few days are… weird.
Neither of them are home a lot but they’re bouncing off each other in different ways than ever before and it’s disconcerting. It’s more than being at Greendale and walking through the hallways together and arguing about biology assignments - It’s showering in the same bathroom and coming home late to find Annie sound asleep on the couch. It’s grocery shopping and Jeff eating that last avocado and putting an empty carton of orange juice back in the fridge instead of throwing it away.
“Guys actually DO that?” She had exclaimed into the empty apartment one night while searching for something to eat.
Annie’s never lived with a man before (other than her father, and that doesn’t count) and it’s a little like opening up a new window into who Jeff Winger is and she’s not sure what she expected - that he lounged around in expensive suits, drinking expensive alcohol and smoking expensive cigars while sleek, bleached blonde women with fake boobs walked in and out of the apartment at all hours of the day and night?
Because it turns out that living with Jeff is only strange in how quiet and normal it is.
He does sometimes have a glass of scotch when he comes home from work but it’s usually while watching some rerun of America’s Next Top Model and he does go out at night and come back late but he’s always alone. The only other woman that she’s ever seen in his apartment in the elderly lady next door who comes over with cookies or to ask Jeff to open jars of spaghetti sauce.
One morning, though, Annie's standing in the kitchen pouring a glass of orange juice, assuming Jeff is still tucked away safely in his room when a key turns in the lock, scaring her half to death and he strolls in with unkempt hair, in last night’s clothes.
For a split second she images that he looks almost embarrassed when he catches her eye but she turns away quickly, surprised at the tightening in her stomach.
He heads toward the bathroom without saying a word and Annie finds that the toast she had been in the middle of eating is suddenly too dry and tasteless.
~*~*~
She’s been living there over a week when Jeff comes home one night, earlier than normal, while she’s in the middle of making dinner. His keys land on the coffee table with a loud clatter and he kicks his shoes off to the side as he makes his way toward the kitchen and grabs a glass from the cabinet over Annie’s head.
“Hey,” she starts cheerfully.
Jeff rubs a hand over his face and gives her a half-smile as he pours a splash of scotch and immediately downs it, wincing a little and then pouring some more. Annie raises an eyebrow but doesn’t say anything.
“What are you making?” he questions after a moment.
“Grilled cheese.” She meets his gaze with a shrug. “I was in the mood for comfort food.”
He looks like he want to say something and she’s about to offer to make him one when he abruptly turns away.
“I’m going to bed.”
Annie laughs and glances up at the LCD readout on the microwave. “It’s only 6:30.”
“Yup.” He clutches the glass to his chest and then on second thought grabs the entire bottle of Macallan as he passes by the counter.
A twinge of concern makes Annie bite her lip as she watches him carefully. “Are you okay?”
“Huh?” He doesn’t look at her, just laughs dryly as heads toward his room. “Yeah. Just. Work stuff. Doesn’t matter. Night.” The door gets kicked shut behind him.
~*~*~
It’s six hours later and Annie can’t sleep.
The sheets are tangled around her legs and she kicks at them in frustration as she flails her arm out to the side to reach for her cell phone to check the time again. If she falls asleep right now she can get five and a half hours of sleep before she has to get up for work.
The silence of the apartment bears down on her as she stares at the ceiling. Yeah, it’s not happening. The couch is actually pretty comfortable but after three years of living above Dildopolis, she had gotten used to falling asleep to a constant thrum of noise and chatter; the quiet of Jeff’s apartment building is too empty, heavy with what isn’t there.
With a final kick she shakes the sheets completely off and they flutter to the floor in a heap as she flops over onto her side and glares at Jeff’s bedroom door, behind which he’s probably passed out drunk after drinking too much scotch and being tortured by whatever it is he won’t talk about.
It’s times like this she wishes she could be Britta because Britta would have barged in there and demanded to know what his deal was and they would have shouted loudly at each other through thinly veiled witticisms until they got bored… or just ended up having really angry sex. Or something.
She turns her head into the pillow and groans, then flings herself up off the couch and pads towards the kitchen, not even bothering to turn the light on. A few days ago she had noticed a stray pint of Ben and Jerry’s buried in the bottom of the freezer and Jeff’s always whining about carbs anyway, he’ll probably never notice it’s gone.
But she’s just hoisted herself onto the counter and put the first spoonful of brownie fudge ice cream in her mouth when his bedroom door opens. Annie freezes, feeling like a kid caught out of bed. She’s hidden in the darkness of the kitchen so he doesn’t see her as he walks in and goes to open the fridge but it’s officially creepy if she doesn’t say anything, right?
She clears her throat, “Hey.”
Jeff jumps and smacks his shoulder into the fridge door.
“Jesus, Annie.”
“Sorry,” she whispers.
“What are you doing?”
“Um.” She holds up the ice cream and spoon, shrugging. “I’ll replace it?”
Jeff huffs out a tired laugh, “Ice cream at midnight?”
“I couldn’t sleep.”
“Pretty sure the sugar rush isn’t going to help you with that one.” But he opens the drawer to pull out another spoon. Annie grins as she takes another mouthful and then holds the pint out toward him. He leans against the counter next to her and they pass the ice cream back and forth in silence for a few minutes.
Annie regards his profile as he’s taking a bite, his eyes closing as he drags the spoon out over his tongue.
“Are you drunk?”
Jeff looks up at her in surprise. “What?”
“You locked yourself in your room earlier with a bottle of alcohol.” She’s trying desperately not to sound like she’s judging him, or nagging.
For a moment he looks kind of sheepish. “Nah. I fell asleep before I even finished the first glass.”
“Oh.” Annie pokes at the ice cream, picking out a brownie bit and popping it in her mouth. “Did you have a bad day at work?”
“Mmm.” And she half expects that he’ll say something snarky and shrug it off so her eyes widen when he murmurs, “Alan’s an ass.”
“We already knew that, Jeff.”
“Yeah but… I never cared about it before.” He looks up at her pointedly before continuing. “We went to a strip club for lunch.”
Annie’s nose wrinkles up in distaste.
“See!” Jeff waves his hand at her. “That’s the problem! I picture THAT face. And Britta launching into a tirade about the objectification of women. And Shirley saying, ‘oh that’s NOT nice.” And then there’s Pierce being… well, Pierce. And you guys have completely ruined me.” He turns himself around and drops his spoon in the sink, braces his hands on the counter and scowls at her.
It takes super human effort not to start laughing because he seems so completely distraught. “Jeff, if you think I’m going to feel sorry for you because you can’t enjoy yourself at a strip club in the middle of the day, I’m sorry but-”
“It’s not even…” He tilts his head to the side, “He got me fired.”
“I know,” Annie says quietly.
“And I want to punch him in the face all the fucking time but I can’t because I do want to work there again and I actually like Ted and-”
Annie finally sighs and cuts him off with a pat on his head. “Oh Jeff, you’re growing up.”
His eyes flicker up to her hand and the corners of his mouth twitch before he looks back down at the sink. “I’m getting old.” There’s a vulnerability in his words that makes Annie’s heart constrict, makes her want to jump down off the counter and wrap herself around him. She settles for sliding her hand down to his shoulder, curling her fingers in.
“There’s a difference between getting old and not being an asshole.”
His eyebrows reach into his hairline at her choice of words.
Annie flushes. “What?”
Jeff laughs and shakes his head, pushes away from the counter. “Nothing. I’m tired. I’m gonna.” He nods his head toward his room and Annie nods. For a brief second, as he watches her intently, she imagines that he leans toward her a bit, enough to make her breath catch in her throat. But in a blink he’s gone, headed around the corner back to his room.
“Goodnight Jeff.”
He smiles back at her, the corners of his eyes crinkling and Annie finds herself staring into space in the darkened kitchen long after she hears his door shut.
~*~*~
Jeff comes home two days later to find Britta on the couch, her feet propped up on the coffee table as she flips through channels on the TV, looking bored.
“Britta,” he states dryly, a hint of a question in his voice as he throws his keys and wallet on the table by the door
She barely glances up at him. “What are you doing here?”
“Uh, the last time I checked it was my name on the lease. Now get your boots off my furniture.”
Britta toes the corner of the table and makes it rock back and forth on its uneven legs. “Oh I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scuff up this mint condition artifact.”
“Why can’t you just wear flip flops and sandals like 95% of women in America? It’s summer. Paint your toes hot pink. Live a little,” he leans toward her with a condescending smirk.
“Uh. Cause I’m not a lemur.”
“Lemming.”
Britta purses her lips and looks slightly abashed. “I know!”
Jeff grins and heads toward the kitchen. “Seriously. Why are you here.”
“I’m helping Annie get ready for her date.”
As if on cue, the woman in question emerges from the bathroom. “You’re home! Sorry. It’s a mess in here right now. But I’ll clean it up.”
With one hand on the fridge door, Jeff freezes as he takes in her outfit - a purple and white polka dot sundress that cinches at her rib cage and falls to about mid-thigh. Her hair is down around her shoulders and slightly more tussled than normal, eye make-up a little darker so that her blue eyes seem even wider. It’s not scandalous by any means, just… that’s a lot of skin left visible.
Jeff tears his eyes away and pretends that something absolutely fascinating is happening on the top shelf of the fridge. “Whatever.”
He hears Britta saying something but concentrates instead on the cool air hitting his skin. It’s not like he hasn’t seen her in a dress before and some of those strips of material she calls skirts are significantly shorter but there’s something in the Annie that is currently standing in his living room that makes it harder to deny that’s she an adult and an actual viable…
Wait, did she say date?
As casually as possible he heads back into the living room, stepping over Britta’s legs as he hands her a beer and drops down next to her on the couch. Annie’s disappeared back into the bathroom and Britta’s suddenly riveted to the goings-on on the television screen.
“What the hell are you watching?”
“CSPAN.”
“Of course.” He waits a beat. “So. Annie’s got a date.”
Britta whips her head around and is suddenly in his face as she points her finger at his chest and leans in close, “Don’t,” she whisper-hisses.
“What?!” Jeff rears back.
“Oh please. You know what you’re doing.”
“Getting my head chewed off for asking a simple question?”
“No. Being a jealous douche.”
“Jealous?” He makes a noise that is clearly meant to signify that she’s crazy. “Your mom’s jealous.”
Britta grins as Jeff closes his eyes and shakes his head, realizing immediately how nonsensical a comeback that was.
“Whatever. I was just showing interest. That’s what friends do, right?”
“Uh-huh. Well since you’re SO interested.” She actually finger-quotes interested. “Then yes. Annie has a date.”
“Britta set me up with him.” They both look up to see Annie in the doorway of the bathroom, holding onto the doorframe as she slips on a pair of black ballet flats.
“Oh. Britta found him? Well, then he’s sure to be a winner.”
Both women roll their eyes at him. “He works at the cat shelter I go to,” Britta says with a flip of her hair. Like that’s meant to be impressive or something.
“Please don’t tell me this is another stringy haired hippy.”
“Vaughn didn’t have stringy hair. But no. His name’s Josh and he’s a nice guy. Not that you would know anything about that.”
Jeff ignores the insult and presses on. “So why aren’t you dating him? Oh.” He leans in and drops his voice to a faux whisper, “Did you already bone him?”
“NO.” Britta aims a punch for his shoulder that makes him gasp in pain and twist away.
“What the fuck?!” He rubs his arm with a grimace.
“Well, stop being mean!”
“Ahem,” Annie clears her throat. “If you guys are done acting like children.” She holds her arms out and spins so that the dress sort of twirls around her.
Britta wolf-whistles. “You look hot.”
“Thank you!” Annie beams and then they both look to Jeff who has taken a sudden interest in the proceedings of Congress.
“Oh.” He looks up. “Yeah. You look nice.” His tone is nonchalant but Annie smiles and flushes as if he just told her she looks incredible…and maybe she does. Maybe nice really doesn’t even begin to cover it.
Pull it together, Winger.
He takes a long pull of his beer and attempts to ignore them both as Annie runs through the plan - dinner at that new Mexican restaurant, a movie if everything goes well - in that breathless, excited way of hers that makes him scowl at the television.
“Okay, wish me luck!” And then she’s practically skipping out the door, flushing only slightly when Britta yells out a reminder to “Use protection!”
Jeff clutches his beer bottle tighter as the door slams shut and Britta turns to him with a challenging smile, smug as all hell.
~*~*~
It’s five past one.
Jeff stares at the clock, trying to re-assure himself that he’s read that incorrectly. Yeah. His cell phone confirms the time.
Britta had stayed for pizza and more beer and more fighting over what to watch before leaving sometime around nine when Jeff had started playing a video game and slipped into an almost zombie-like state of glazed eyes as things blew up on-screen and the hours slipped by unnoticed.
And now it’s 1:05 AM and Annie’s still not home.
He checks his phone - no missed calls - turns the ringer all the way up and throws it down on the couch, stalking toward the kitchen for a glass of water. He’s trying not to think like an over protective dad. Or a jealous boyfr- Whatever, he’s neither of these things. But this is Annie. And okay, he doesn’t know a lot about her dating habits - he didn’t even know she had dating habits. There was Vaughn. And Trevor. And in the middle he had just assumed that there was a lot of sitting around in her room and drawing hearts around his name. Or Troy’s. Or Taylor Lautner’s.
Two years ago she hadn’t even been able to say the word penis, but maybe she’s grown up more than he thought. Maybe Annie has a sex life. Maybe Annie goes on first dates that turn into sleepovers that turn into an early morning walks of shame.
There’s a growing pressure behind his eyes. Ugh. Jeff yanks the brand new pint of ice cream out of the freezer - it had shown up there yesterday after Annie had gone shopping - and pops the lid off. He stares at it for a second before changing his mind and throwing it back in the freezer.
~*~*~
At 1:35 he flips idly through the channels, stopping briefly at Silence of the Lambs until Buffalo Bill comes onscreen and Jeff shudders and picks up the remote again. He settles a few minutes later for a bad sci-fi movie about mutant alligators battling giant piranha.
~*~*~
At 1:52 he starts another video game to take his mind of the scenario he’s created in his head where Annie’s lured into the back of a van by a creepy serial killer.
~*~*~
At 1:55 he composes a text message asking where the hell she is. He deletes it immediately.
~*~*~
At 2:03 a key turns in the lock.
Jeff freezes, then kicks his legs onto the coffee table, slumps down into the couch and picks up the video game controller just as the door opens.
“Jeff?”
“Hmmm.” He makes a show of tearing his eyes away from the screen and looking up at her in disinterested fashion. “Oh. Hey.”
Annie’s lips turn up in amusement as she drops her keys and purse by the side of the couch. “Did you wait up for me?”
“What?” Jeff squints at the time display on the DVD player. “Oh, wow. I didn’t realize it was so late… So.” He looks up at her and notes the blue hoodie she’s wearing, unzipped, over her dress. “Good date?”
His question is met with a yawn and then a loud sigh as she makes her way into the kitchen. “It was horrible. He spent the entire dinner talking about his job. Jeff.” She leans over the counter and he cranes his head back to look at her. “He cleans up after hundred of animals every day. His job is gross. And we were eating.”
Jeff makes a face and Annie nods furiously, “Right?! I could barely keep my food down.”
“Huh.” Jeff smiles to himself as he turns back around, then realizes what he’s doing and lets out a long exhale. “But you stayed out till 2 with him anyway?
“No.” Annie flops down next to him with the pint of ice cream and two spoons. “After dinner I called Abed. We went to a double feature at the dollar movie theater.”
Abed?
“Oh.”
“I would have called you too if I knew you were going to be home alone all night.” She hands him a spoon and Jeff takes it with a weak smile. Wow. How did he suddenly become so pathetic?
“Oh I was… I had stuff… to do,” he finishes lamely. Annie smiles, knowingly, and hands him the ice cream, spoon still between her lips. There’s a brightness in her eyes that makes his hands clench but he clears his throat and pokes his spoon into the carton. “So I hope you learned your lesson about going to Britta for matchmaking purposes.”
Her nose scrunches up. “Yeah, I guess.”
“Seriously Annie. It’s Britta. She collects damaged guys like they’re baseball cards.”
Annie glances sideways at him, “Aren’t you part of that collection?”
“ME? No. I’m not damaged.” A slow smirk spreads across his features. “I wouldn’t, however, object to being compared to a collector’s item.” The hand not holding the ice cream drops to his abs.
“Ew.” She wrenches the ice cream away from him but he continues to grin cockily at her until she sighs and tilts her head thoughtfully, “You were waiting up for me.”
“Wha-” Jeff sputters. “No. I was…” He motions toward the television even though he knows it’s futile and the look on her face is one of utter glee.
“Awwww,” she starts but Jeff is shaking his head and getting to his feet, shoving his spoon back into her hand.
“Nope. Nope. I’m going to bed.”
“Jeff!” And now she’s giggling.
He doesn’t look back at her as he escapes to his bedroom and shuts the door firmly behind him.
Well, that’s just… great.