In 525,600 minutes - how do you measure a year in the life
justin and i are somewhat broken up. well, we're seeing other people (even though he doesn't want to). he's a very nice guy, but i shouldnt have to feel like a babysitter instead of a girlfriend. i don't like when boys need constant attention from me every moment that we're together. i should be able to spend time with other people, carry on conversations, and even things as simple as dance with other people without having to worry that i'm upsetting him. i'm honestly begining to think that i am not supposed to have a boyfriend...
i was thinking today how quickly a year goes by. just this time last year i was meeting adam and adam, dancing in the park with kari at 3 am, late night coffee runs ruled my life... i remember kari and i shopped for an outfit for alumni event for over a week, spent 4 hours getting ready, only to spend about an hour at the actual party. i remember gator's with adam, adam, anton, steve, and derik, that stupid beerzooka, and adam shoving his head under it, only to get beer up his nose. williams saying "i would never have anal sex but i would have sex with her", even though he had never met me before that night, and a very drunk anton trying to carry me because i chose to wear heels. i remember kari, sean, and i sitting on top of the slide, bundled up with tons of blankets, and talking about how we were going to spend our lives together, and havinging crazy religious discussions. i remember crazy first dates to the beach with taylor, my first sleepover with him and how scared i was because i had never slept over alone with a boy, trojan women lingerie nights, and the jump on it dance backstage everynight before the show, sitting on the roof with mike and rhonda talking about absoultly nothing for hours, girls nights part one, two and duck, vagina fest and counting carpet stores, ghost hunts in cassadega, trying to drown myself at the beach when it was like 30 degrees out, and lisa walking out and "saving me", crying and screaming at the top of my lungs in the middle of the ocean because the boy i cared most about, that i never should have broken up with refused to take me back. i remember dancing with micheal at midnight in the water with all of our clothes on. caitilins birthday when rhonda and carmen decided to go skinny dipping, and nearly froze to death, exploring the abandoned hotel and casey finding his shovel, i remember tyler taking me out after taylor and i broke up and having our crazy i bar adventure, kissing the same boy, and laughing about it the whole way home, singing the postal service. mini road trips with tara to see tbs in tampa, going to rocky horror with bethany and alex, falling asleep with alex's boyfriend only to wake up at 6 am and having to sneak back in my house because my mom thought i was home at 3.
i want to go back in time and relive everything. the good, the bad, the indifferent. i'm afraid of moving forward, i want to go back. i want to know exactly when things are going to happen, when to laugh, when to cry, when to feel uneasy. i want to know what to say before i say it, and take back the things i've done. i want to be able to fix things. there's one day in particular that i want to go back to, one phone call i dont want to make. it's interesting how the people who once ment the most to you can completly phase you out of their lives... kari isn't coming home. atleast not until spring break, i wont have anyone to shop with, play with makeup, have coffee runs and sit in starbucks forever talking about nothing. i miss having a best friend, some to laugh and cry with...
measure your life in love,
jessica lynn
i was thinking today how quickly a year goes by. just this time last year i was meeting adam and adam, dancing in the park with kari at 3 am, late night coffee runs ruled my life... i remember kari and i shopped for an outfit for alumni event for over a week, spent 4 hours getting ready, only to spend about an hour at the actual party. i remember gator's with adam, adam, anton, steve, and derik, that stupid beerzooka, and adam shoving his head under it, only to get beer up his nose. williams saying "i would never have anal sex but i would have sex with her", even though he had never met me before that night, and a very drunk anton trying to carry me because i chose to wear heels. i remember kari, sean, and i sitting on top of the slide, bundled up with tons of blankets, and talking about how we were going to spend our lives together, and havinging crazy religious discussions. i remember crazy first dates to the beach with taylor, my first sleepover with him and how scared i was because i had never slept over alone with a boy, trojan women lingerie nights, and the jump on it dance backstage everynight before the show, sitting on the roof with mike and rhonda talking about absoultly nothing for hours, girls nights part one, two and duck, vagina fest and counting carpet stores, ghost hunts in cassadega, trying to drown myself at the beach when it was like 30 degrees out, and lisa walking out and "saving me", crying and screaming at the top of my lungs in the middle of the ocean because the boy i cared most about, that i never should have broken up with refused to take me back. i remember dancing with micheal at midnight in the water with all of our clothes on. caitilins birthday when rhonda and carmen decided to go skinny dipping, and nearly froze to death, exploring the abandoned hotel and casey finding his shovel, i remember tyler taking me out after taylor and i broke up and having our crazy i bar adventure, kissing the same boy, and laughing about it the whole way home, singing the postal service. mini road trips with tara to see tbs in tampa, going to rocky horror with bethany and alex, falling asleep with alex's boyfriend only to wake up at 6 am and having to sneak back in my house because my mom thought i was home at 3.
i want to go back in time and relive everything. the good, the bad, the indifferent. i'm afraid of moving forward, i want to go back. i want to know exactly when things are going to happen, when to laugh, when to cry, when to feel uneasy. i want to know what to say before i say it, and take back the things i've done. i want to be able to fix things. there's one day in particular that i want to go back to, one phone call i dont want to make. it's interesting how the people who once ment the most to you can completly phase you out of their lives... kari isn't coming home. atleast not until spring break, i wont have anyone to shop with, play with makeup, have coffee runs and sit in starbucks forever talking about nothing. i miss having a best friend, some to laugh and cry with...
measure your life in love,
jessica lynn