boys and a boy
amazing how the boys of nsync buoy my spirit. this is the second time they’ve done this for me. the first time was, well...lemme see. hmmm 1999? no, 2000 i think. let’s see. 2000 was no strings attached tour, 2001 pop odyssey, 2002 celebrity. yep i think that’s it. anyway. in 2000 i was in deep depression after my dad’s death. it’d been almost a year i think and as usual i was mindlessly channel surfing the 3 million selections i pay for. wondering what mtv was up to i switched over and found making the video-nsync. since i’d set through something backstreet the night before and came away being able to identify nick carter, i decided to check it out. such are the thoughts of depression. *shrugs* some ten minutes had already past when i checked in, so i missed any identifying information. here’s what i knew about nsync at that moment: boyband, one of them is named justin, and he goes out with britney. as i watched, one of them made me laugh out loud several times. laughing felt good, i felt better immediately. not well by any means but better, and that’s something when beast has you in its grip. so after some research about them i checked out their live appearance the very next week on some mtv award thing. they danced well to cool choreography, sang on key in harmony (always a favorite of mine), looked like they were having a blast, and one of them had a clockwork orange happening on one eye... i was pretty much hooked. and then less than 48 hours ago, they did it again for me. well, actually it was lance-in-close-proximity that really wounded my demon sending it where it hides when i’m stronger than it. yeah, cheek-to-cheek with lance. good medicine.
and then there’s the boy, my client. i continue to feel diminished as both friend and counselor to him cecause, of couse, i’m not supposed to do both, ethically speaking. and i know why: it’s too hard for both. well i don’t know about him really, i only know my own demons . anyway with my recently refreshed spirit leading the way, i had this thought: he needs the unequal relationship right now. the one where i am able to offer my experience to him as he learns his life’s lessons. all this within the context of him sharing some intimate details of his life and me acting like i know what i’m doing.
and then there’s the boy, my client. i continue to feel diminished as both friend and counselor to him cecause, of couse, i’m not supposed to do both, ethically speaking. and i know why: it’s too hard for both. well i don’t know about him really, i only know my own demons . anyway with my recently refreshed spirit leading the way, i had this thought: he needs the unequal relationship right now. the one where i am able to offer my experience to him as he learns his life’s lessons. all this within the context of him sharing some intimate details of his life and me acting like i know what i’m doing.