<3 just the 411 update in my life
Things have been really good actually. John and I are so happy together. I love him with all my heart. I admit I almost lost him. It was completly my fault, I dont know why I just wass being a bitch and freaking out on him. He dosent deserve that, hes done so much for me. Most importantly he means so much to me. The night we got in a fight I couldnt sleep, I stayed up until my mom left for work and since I had no bus money I walked to his house. Even though it didnt go well, I know it showed him how much I loved him. I had to call my mom to pick me up cause I couldnt walk 2 hours back with a bag of clothes and my guitar that i left in his car. So that I chilled with my neighbors and I used Rameen Saura's brothers phone to call. Than found 50 cent walked to a payphone left a message and thank God eza just got home i used her phone called my baby up and said lets work this out and he said ok he'd be at my house in 20 mins. ( you see i have no phone my my disconnected it)
But it dosent matter anymore we are doing really great. We said the past is the past no more bring it up. Yesterday ment alot to me because i wrote him a really really long letter and in the end of that letter i said do u see me as wife material and he brought it up to my attention and said that he sees a future with me being his wife and that fuckn means so much to mean. Ive never felt so happy in my life. I look forward to my future now. We also had a really good time at joes house ate a great home cooked dinner yummy. john did the cutest thing when we were walking to the car he ran like i did lol that was so great, wobble wobble wobbble. hehehe. Im so glad he is a part of my life. Hes been letting me use his celluar phone to talk to him and stuff at night time and now the celly ran out of batteries and i cant talk to him. But hes doing his community service. We said we were going to meet at my NA. I cant wait to see him. Now i know what he meant by not being able to talk to him but wanting to cause usually i had a cell and he could call me anytime but now i have nothing and im urging to talk to him to hold him to kiss him. FUCK I miss him so fuckn much. I have to wait until 7pm its only 11:05 am. Im at school. I have rehab 3pm and than at 6pm i have therapy than at 7pm NA, and that is were hes going to meet me.
Anyways,
i seriously am so happy. My world could be crashing down and all he has to do is smile, (oh how i love that fuckn smile ) and everything is ok. His smile brightens a cloudy day. Hes the only person i want to talk to you know fuck meeting new people Im not a people person. I have been fucked over to many times I only mostly chill with john and his friends because all i really knew was tweekers and I dont need that in my life. All i need is a good future and that is with john. I LOVE MY BABY......... damn Im really missing him. but ya im ttyl Im going to find some shit to add up on here muah
xoxoxoxox
But it dosent matter anymore we are doing really great. We said the past is the past no more bring it up. Yesterday ment alot to me because i wrote him a really really long letter and in the end of that letter i said do u see me as wife material and he brought it up to my attention and said that he sees a future with me being his wife and that fuckn means so much to mean. Ive never felt so happy in my life. I look forward to my future now. We also had a really good time at joes house ate a great home cooked dinner yummy. john did the cutest thing when we were walking to the car he ran like i did lol that was so great, wobble wobble wobbble. hehehe. Im so glad he is a part of my life. Hes been letting me use his celluar phone to talk to him and stuff at night time and now the celly ran out of batteries and i cant talk to him. But hes doing his community service. We said we were going to meet at my NA. I cant wait to see him. Now i know what he meant by not being able to talk to him but wanting to cause usually i had a cell and he could call me anytime but now i have nothing and im urging to talk to him to hold him to kiss him. FUCK I miss him so fuckn much. I have to wait until 7pm its only 11:05 am. Im at school. I have rehab 3pm and than at 6pm i have therapy than at 7pm NA, and that is were hes going to meet me.
Anyways,
i seriously am so happy. My world could be crashing down and all he has to do is smile, (oh how i love that fuckn smile ) and everything is ok. His smile brightens a cloudy day. Hes the only person i want to talk to you know fuck meeting new people Im not a people person. I have been fucked over to many times I only mostly chill with john and his friends because all i really knew was tweekers and I dont need that in my life. All i need is a good future and that is with john. I LOVE MY BABY......... damn Im really missing him. but ya im ttyl Im going to find some shit to add up on here muah
xoxoxoxox