(no subject)
i guess i'm not sad exactly? but i'm tired. too much work and too many stories i didnt really want to write and too many things happening. i have to hold myself upright for the rest of the week but really the only soul-time i'll be able to get is zenning out to buena vista in the radio room. and that was yesterday.
i dont want to have to deal with a lot of whats going on right now, mainly because i can't. last weekend i talked to phil for the first time in a few weeks and it wasnt under the best circumstances. a really close friend of mine ate acid midway through last week and never snapped out of the trip--he's been in the psych ward near his college for a few days, crying and talking nonsense while the nurses keep him from falling asleep. now, he's on medication that makes him aware that he's in an alternate reality, but he's still there, and they don't know if the damage will ever be undone. meanwhile there are a hundred cross-country phonecalls to my best friends who are half-reexamining their whole lives. meanwhile he might never be okay.
i can only think about the constant things: california, college, two weeks, two months, two years down the road. i have such an ungodly amount of work to do so i guess that'll suspend any painful epiphanies, but i dont know if i like that.
okay kea calm down, you can eat peanut butter tofu in half an hour, everything will be fine.
i dont want to have to deal with a lot of whats going on right now, mainly because i can't. last weekend i talked to phil for the first time in a few weeks and it wasnt under the best circumstances. a really close friend of mine ate acid midway through last week and never snapped out of the trip--he's been in the psych ward near his college for a few days, crying and talking nonsense while the nurses keep him from falling asleep. now, he's on medication that makes him aware that he's in an alternate reality, but he's still there, and they don't know if the damage will ever be undone. meanwhile there are a hundred cross-country phonecalls to my best friends who are half-reexamining their whole lives. meanwhile he might never be okay.
i can only think about the constant things: california, college, two weeks, two months, two years down the road. i have such an ungodly amount of work to do so i guess that'll suspend any painful epiphanies, but i dont know if i like that.
okay kea calm down, you can eat peanut butter tofu in half an hour, everything will be fine.