Merry F-Mas
I'm in the hospital until 3 with Christopher, I try talking to him like old times but he just stares through me and closes his eyes, nothing like old times. I have decaf green tea with me and I ate an everything bagel. His catheter bag was staring at me the entire time I was eating. I woke up today feeling a bit better, not as frustrated, not caring so much about the dumb shit. It's strange too, because I usually don't think twice if someone acts questionably towards me, but this job is very important to me.
My hair is really dirty, I know it's visibly stringy, it always gets dirtier faster when I straighten it. I look very cute today in a grungy way. I have on my black cotton leggings, olive green Ugg style boots, grey leg warmers, Deftones Tempest shirt I got at their concert, my red and black flannel, and a black zip up hoodie over it. My grey scarf and green pompom hat lay next to me, along with my olive green canvas coat for when I go back outside....that won't be for another 5 hours.
I've been listening to this new band I came across called Iron Chic which wouldn't usually be my bag, but I really enjoy the lyrics, and the lead singer has a distinctive voice that I'm fond of.
Looking at Chris makes me feel so lucky, it makes me angry that people can be so petty and rude towards others when we are all just human beings trying to just live through life. Life is really short when you think about the capacity that's giving to live it as a young sprite person, and if you get lucky a still healthy more aged version of your younger self. Some people are not that lucky, some people think they are invincible to that, they are mean and think its funny, think they are such bad bitches. One day they are going to want the mercy of others but will be standing alone bring the ones who loose in the end.