"To begin with, I'd say because life isn't a meritocracy," Hasi says, lightly; she sits on the edge of a table, legs crossed neatly, hands folded on top of her knees, because she has something against chairs apparently.
"It's just random. Unless you believe in fate, or God, or some combination of the two."
Fact: if they were in one of the pubs around here, she would sit on top of the bar itself. She likes to make herself the centerpiece of the room.
"Higher purpose, sure; gray-bearded Santa practicing Calvinism and mapping out our every move so that he who has lived the most virtuously martyrtastic life gets all the best toys in the afterlife, not so much," Hasibe shrugs, smiling.
"But basically it's like this: if you - a general you, of course, I won't presume - believe in God and you want to know why good people have terrible things happen to them, you have to ask God, don't you? It all goes back to the 'problem of evil,' and nobody's ever been able to really give a satisfactory answer to that one, as many theologians have tried. The atheist's answer is much simpler, but maybe a lot less interesting. I don't know, what do you think?"
"So--balance. It's a trope. We wouldn't be able to know the good things so clearly if we didn't have the bad, if there were no contrast."
She listens to what he says about trust, though, attentive and quiet, and smiles slightly. "It's really hard-wired into us, too, that evolutionary necessity; I actually did a paper on it in college, on paranoia and attachment disorders and how they're linked more often than is really recorded because one tends to be symptomatic of the other--people who have a relationship aversion ingrained since childhood, who feel that life is too unstable to trust to form attachments, suffer much higher stress levels and general bad health. But, um...that's a little bit of a tangent, isn't it."
The topic certainly interests her, though. "Do you care if I smoke? Most people here don't, it's weird."
Tony gives her a smile, "We all go off on tangents and there is nothing to be sorry for about it- you bring up a valid point. Our early childhood experiences guide our development. While we are capable of changing our pattern of reaction to certain stimuli we can only do so if we realize we have an issue to begin with. And," he pauses and sighs, "more often than not we do not realize we have a problem or if it is pointed out to us we react by lashing out as a defense mechanism. It's a vicious cycle."
He shrugs at her question, "Doesn't bother me. You seem to have psychology background- have you studied it. I mean, you must have if you wrote on it in college but was it your main area of study? Are you a psychologist?"
The way he speaks actually reminds her somewhat of some professors she had in college, and she smiles, agreeing with the first bit of that; it doesn't need much more comment, does it, and the question distracts her as she lights her little black cigarette. (The lighter is Givenchy, because in all things she is meticulous about quality.)
"Me? Oh, no, I'm only twenty-four. But I was going to go into that field, I just didn't quite make it all the way to grad school yet." In fairness, at twenty-four she's young enough to only have recently completed her bachelor's, but it's been a couple of years. "But my degree was in psych, yes--my big focus was empathy and aggression. What about you? You obviously know a lot about this."
It is not surprising that Tony sounds like a professor since he actually is one. He takes note of the lighter brand and files that piece of information aside. It would seem that she is a woman who has a taste for the finer things in life. However, the type of cigarette she smokes also tells him that she is not your everyday person- she has a flair for doing things in a way that are not the simplest or the cheapest- she knows what she likes and what she does not like. She is willing to go the extra bit to get what she likes.
"I'm a clinical psychologist- I teach graduate studies in it." He pauses and then gives her a thoughtful look.
"'Was'?" he comments, his interest piqued. "Why the change?"
"Oh, well, that explains it! So really I'm not telling you anything remotely new."
She could be flustered here, but--why bother, and it's kind of nice to meet people in a similar field, even if she uses her skills learned mostly to make money in ways that are presently kind of illegal. Unfortunate fact of the matter is a woman who looks like Hasibe, particularly in her age range, makes a hell of a lot more in the sex industry than she ever would with only a BA in Psych, and as she says, shrugging, with a bland little smile:
"Girl's got to pay the bills. Grad school costs a lot, especially at my alma mater, and I haven't even begun to pay off my loans from before. Discussing this is a little declasse of me, but I'm sure you know how it is."
Tony is starting to realize exactly what this woman does for a living. Psychology would come in rather handy for that. He studies her in a non-sexual way (which he can honestly do) and his assessment is that most men would happily hand over money for an escort from her.
"So if you don't practice psychology what do you do?" Even if he already knows the answer it is something to take about and this woman's conversation was rather stimulating.
"Former adult film star--nothing particularly household-name, of course--and present paid companion." She says it without a trace of shame; people often react to this revelation either with pity or disdain, but this guy seems a little too analytical, maybe, to attribute a moral judgment. It remains to be seen, however. She grins at him, and leans forward, one hand balanced on her knee, gesturing lightly with her cigarette.
"It's remarkably like being a therapist, sometimes, actually, which is the only polite term I can think of for 'emotional sponge'. But I think this is the juncture conversationally at which I start making inquiries--I'm Hasibe Ozcelik, what's your name?"
"Dr. Tony Hill- nice to meet you Hasibe. And, yes, I would imagine that being a companion would be much like being a therapist. People tend to tell us," he gestures to her and then himself, "that they would not tell others. There is a sense of anonymity that comes from talking to us I suppose."
Tony passes no judgment on this woman. Each person takes a path in life that suits them and everyone has to find a means of survival.
"To begin with, I'd say because life isn't a meritocracy," Hasi says, lightly; she sits on the edge of a table, legs crossed neatly, hands folded on top of her knees, because she has something against chairs apparently.
"It's just random. Unless you believe in fate, or God, or some combination of the two."
Reply
"Do you not believe in a higher power or purpose in life?"
Reply
Fact: if they were in one of the pubs around here, she would sit on top of the bar itself. She likes to make herself the centerpiece of the room.
"Higher purpose, sure; gray-bearded Santa practicing Calvinism and mapping out our every move so that he who has lived the most virtuously martyrtastic life gets all the best toys in the afterlife, not so much," Hasibe shrugs, smiling.
"But basically it's like this: if you - a general you, of course, I won't presume - believe in God and you want to know why good people have terrible things happen to them, you have to ask God, don't you? It all goes back to the 'problem of evil,' and nobody's ever been able to really give a satisfactory answer to that one, as many theologians have tried. The atheist's answer is much simpler, but maybe a lot less interesting. I don't know, what do you think?"
Reply
Reply
"So--balance. It's a trope. We wouldn't be able to know the good things so clearly if we didn't have the bad, if there were no contrast."
She listens to what he says about trust, though, attentive and quiet, and smiles slightly. "It's really hard-wired into us, too, that evolutionary necessity; I actually did a paper on it in college, on paranoia and attachment disorders and how they're linked more often than is really recorded because one tends to be symptomatic of the other--people who have a relationship aversion ingrained since childhood, who feel that life is too unstable to trust to form attachments, suffer much higher stress levels and general bad health. But, um...that's a little bit of a tangent, isn't it."
The topic certainly interests her, though. "Do you care if I smoke? Most people here don't, it's weird."
Reply
He shrugs at her question, "Doesn't bother me. You seem to have psychology background- have you studied it. I mean, you must have if you wrote on it in college but was it your main area of study? Are you a psychologist?"
Reply
The way he speaks actually reminds her somewhat of some professors she had in college, and she smiles, agreeing with the first bit of that; it doesn't need much more comment, does it, and the question distracts her as she lights her little black cigarette. (The lighter is Givenchy, because in all things she is meticulous about quality.)
"Me? Oh, no, I'm only twenty-four. But I was going to go into that field, I just didn't quite make it all the way to grad school yet." In fairness, at twenty-four she's young enough to only have recently completed her bachelor's, but it's been a couple of years. "But my degree was in psych, yes--my big focus was empathy and aggression. What about you? You obviously know a lot about this."
Reply
"I'm a clinical psychologist- I teach graduate studies in it." He pauses and then gives her a thoughtful look.
"'Was'?" he comments, his interest piqued. "Why the change?"
Reply
"Oh, well, that explains it! So really I'm not telling you anything remotely new."
She could be flustered here, but--why bother, and it's kind of nice to meet people in a similar field, even if she uses her skills learned mostly to make money in ways that are presently kind of illegal. Unfortunate fact of the matter is a woman who looks like Hasibe, particularly in her age range, makes a hell of a lot more in the sex industry than she ever would with only a BA in Psych, and as she says, shrugging, with a bland little smile:
"Girl's got to pay the bills. Grad school costs a lot, especially at my alma mater, and I haven't even begun to pay off my loans from before. Discussing this is a little declasse of me, but I'm sure you know how it is."
Reply
"So if you don't practice psychology what do you do?" Even if he already knows the answer it is something to take about and this woman's conversation was rather stimulating.
Reply
"Former adult film star--nothing particularly household-name, of course--and present paid companion." She says it without a trace of shame; people often react to this revelation either with pity or disdain, but this guy seems a little too analytical, maybe, to attribute a moral judgment. It remains to be seen, however. She grins at him, and leans forward, one hand balanced on her knee, gesturing lightly with her cigarette.
"It's remarkably like being a therapist, sometimes, actually, which is the only polite term I can think of for 'emotional sponge'. But I think this is the juncture conversationally at which I start making inquiries--I'm Hasibe Ozcelik, what's your name?"
Reply
Tony passes no judgment on this woman. Each person takes a path in life that suits them and everyone has to find a means of survival.
Reply
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