(Untitled)

[troellwr]

Ah look, the Ianto that doesn't wear suits is back. He looks fairly nervous as he glances around the area

Comments

[slaveprince]

"I'm not sure I've ever stopped morning, Sir. I moved on when I could no longer funtion without doing so, but there is still an ache when I think of Him."

[troellwr]

"What do you mean you could no longer function?" Ianto asks, because he's confused about this.

[slaveprince]

"The grief was eating me alive, Sir. I wasn't eating or sleeping properly, was not taking care of myself. I can't actually die, but how is it better than death to do nothing but grieve? I had help, I admit, but in the end, the decision to move past the grief into as much of a life as I can have was my choice, because to not do so would have been to crawl into the grave with Him."

[troellwr]

"I... I was never like that. I got up, ate, went to work. It was mechanical for a time, though." Ianto offers a small smile, "And friends are always helpful." He nods, sharply.

[fallofasparr0w]

"The past is past and nothing we do can bring it back to us." In other words, it's always time to move on; it's just human nature to dwell on things we can't have.

[troellwr]

"Yeah, I'm aware of that." Ianto says, glaring slightly. "It really doesn't do me any good, because I miss her." Though he's not sure, he misses her as much as he should.

[fallofasparr0w]

"And you want a definite date that will stop?" Doul is completely impervious to any sort of foolish glaring. A question was asked, he answered honestly, how is it his fault that the answer is bitter medicine? There is none. "The world is large, cruel, and its people don't care about whatever personal sadness you've had. I would say that you can hold on to a memory for as long as you're able, but I wouldn't dwell on it. The world has moved on, you can too."

[troellwr]

"No, but people don't just get over things at a drop of a hat," Ianto growls. It is a bitter medicine, one Ianto really didn't want to hear.

"I have moved on," Ianto says, before adding, "To a certain degree anyway."

[chanyestho]

"chan I am not certain, tho," Chantho says, a little uneasily. "chan I would guess it might be different for everybody, tho."

[troellwr]

"I'm sure it is, I just..." Ianto trails off, before shrugging, "Like some guidelines."

[chanyestho]

She smiles a little. "chan I am afraid this is not something to which there are guidelines, tho."

[troellwr]

Ianto shrinks in on himself, glaring at Chan-tho. "There has to be some, everything else has been studied. Why not grief?"

[not_skywalker]

Jackson is sitting on a nearby couch, fiddling with his rather patchy music player, when the strangely dressed Ianto (if he is a Ianto) appears to question the Nexus. He perks up a little, then tilts his head thoughtfully. "I don't know much about losing a lover," he admits, ruffling a hand awkwardly through his sun-bleached hair.

"But I don't think there's an appropriate amount of time to mourn. It just depends on the situation and how you feel and how long it's been. Yeah, eventually you should be done mourning, but it's ultimately up to you, right?"

[troellwr]

"Or your subconscious deciding to throw something unexpected into your dreams," Ianto mutters, sighing.

"I pray you don't ever have to find out," Ianto replies. "I feel like I should still be mourning, its only been a couple of months since she died."

[not_skywalker]

Jackson shrugs slightly. "I haven't lost a lover, but that doesn't mean I haven't lost someone I love," he points out with a thoughtful frown. "My dad died when I was younger. Not that long ago, actually. And my little brother -- " He pauses, looking down at the music player in hand. "Well, they said I should just accept that he's dead and move on. But it's hard. So, uh, I get what you mean."

[troellwr]

"Yeah, I suppose that is true," Ianto sighs. "Lisa was my family, she was my everything really." He also spent a lot of time taking care of her. He was devoted and now its time to move on and he's just afraid to take that last step.

[just_a_murder]

I haven't lost a lover, but I have lost people very close to me. In my own experience, it takes... as long as it takes. It varies for everyone and depends on who this person was to you and how much of your life they filled.

Time eventually starts to fade the pain. Making a new routine for myself and keeping myself and mind busy helped.

[troellwr]

"She filled a lot of my life, she was sick and I had to take care of her," Ianto says softly. "I've gotten myself a new routine for the most part, it just seems so soon to be moving on."

[just_a_murder]

::That hits very close to home.:: Then don't move on yet. Just take care of yourself in the meantime. If I'd given up on my comatose sister and "moved on" she wouldn't be alive and well today.

My experience is that other people want you to be happy but also don't know how to deal with other people's grief and thus want it to be over as soon as possible for their own comfort as well.

[troellwr]

"Comatose is different than dead. I don't think I would have ever given up on Lisa if she was comatose." Ianto replies, "And she's dead, she's not coming back."

"I've got a friend that is offering me his ear to talk whenever I need it." Ianto says, "Haven't really taken advantage of it yet though."