[Text]

[reallywascake]

Greetings and salutations, [[insert name here]] / [[subject 0001]].

Query 1: Do you like cake?
If Query 1 = {yes}, parse to -
Query 2: What flavor of cake would best motivate you as a reward in a series of challenges?
If Query 1 = {no}, parse to -
Query 3: How does it feel to be a lying little weasel?

Additional query / "smalltalk" subset:

Comments

[will_aurelius]

Are you having me on? And chocolate. Or plum. Although anything handy is sort of favourite.

Mostly I've been having to swot a lot of tomes about demonology. Right now I'm learning about Guttersnipes. They're these sort of birdish-looking things that have teeth.

For fun I've been reading Treasure Island.

[reallywascake]

Am I--Oh. No, it is an honest question, and your honest response is appreciated. "Chocolate" is the most favored response as of survey results taken 08/02/00, which may require updating. "Plum" ranks 14th in popularity.

Instructional manuals for class are boring. You should consider becoming a test subject for Aperture Science Inc. There is no reading required, as we frequently accept lower primates as well as homo sapiens, and monkeys cannot read.

By Robert Louis Stevenson?

[will_aurelius]

Well, I bet you if you checked your records for 1883, 'plum' would rank higher. What are the favourite sorts of cake then, between the two? I like fairy-cakes as well, so long as they're not laced with arsenic.

*Spike scowls at this, as if indignantly recalling an unpleasant experience.*

What's Aperture Science, Inc when it's at home then?

Oi! I'm not a homo sapiens!! *Spike looks quite indignant* I'm not a bloody human!

Yeh, that's the one. He wrote Jeckyl and Hyde as well. I like this one better though.

[reallywascake]

• Butter vanilla
  
• Raspberry
  
• Cherry
  
• Marble
  
• Fish
  
• Strawberry
  
• Strawberry marble
  
• Chocolate Bavarian crème
  
• Mocha chocolate
  
• Cream cheese
  
• Fish
  
• Carrot
  
• Apple Pie
  
• Butter pecan
  
• Neapolitan
  

-End of list.

An experimental physics research facility. Top secret and highly classified governmental research takes place there, and I am the artificial intelligence in charge.

What are you then? You do a very good impression.

I prefer Treasure Island also.

[will_aurelius]

*Spike blinks once- he hadn't ever considered artificial intelligences reading books, or having preferences about them. Then he gives a little shrug and a nod. He's learning to accept weirdness more easily than when he was first turned (three whole years ago). Especially what with hanging about in nexuses and all.*

...Some of those aren't types of cake- apple pie, for example. And aren't butter pecan and Neapolitan types of ice cream?

*Spike narrows his eyes suspiciously at this possible attempted trickery, and doesn't answer the 'what are you question'- after all, first he must establish if this artificial intelligence is a liar.*

[reallywascake]

Ah, I simply consulted my database for flavors of cake. It includes fish, which is delicious.

Do you include ice cream cake?