It's.. ..Not as complicated as I make it sound, at least, I don't think it is. I was driven to take the life of another. Something I swore I'd never do. But the fact of the matter is, if I didn't deal with this individual that way...
...They couldn't be saved. And even if they could, I don't think they wanted to be. At all.
It's a case of they were insane. Psychotic, to the point of being a danger to everyone around them. And they were extremely content about this, and flaunted it.
If I didn't.. .. kill them, they could've hurt so many other people.
I'm one who's supposed to be one of those 'big damn heroes', and I was pretty much raised on the fact that heroes don't kill. It's the last resort, and.. Nngh.
Having recently been here and done this, I'll second what she said. Enjoy the tasty alcohol and the cold comfort that you at least stopped some bastard from sticking it to someone who didn't deserve it.
I'm fine with cold comfort. It's better than no comfort at all, which is what I'm usually used to from life.
I'll have to take your word for it, there. I don't even remember the last time I even really had the opportunity for that, not to mention the TMI-ness of how "means" had been dodgy at best for a good few years.
Moral codes are for children and essentially useless. However, if you insist upon having one, push through your guilt and your 'haunting' and adjust your moral code. Subconsciously, you've clearly already done this. The rest of you is just fighting it.
Maybe your moral code is too narrow, in which case you choose to accept the fact that life isn't like you thought it was before and sometimes you just need to do these things, or you can give up saving people and go work in a shop or something.
Or maybe what you did really was fucked up. Maybe it's reached the point where the means and the ends aren't really matching. In that case you accept it, you learn from it, and you try to change your methods.
But I can't really tell you if your good intentions are Satan's cobblestones or if they're the other kind."
Never stop watching yourself. Never stop questioning. The way that you determined what you were going to do before is still a good and known way: now you know that you can step off the path when you need to. This can either be a weakness, a bad feeling like it is now, or a strength that you acknowledge is dangerous. You can't undo what happened, but that doesn't mean you have to walk that path, nor does it mean you have to reject wholesale what you've learned.
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& how you can change it so you dont get stuck this way again.....
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It's.. ..Not as complicated as I make it sound, at least, I don't think it is. I was driven to take the life of another. Something I swore I'd never do. But the fact of the matter is, if I didn't deal with this individual that way...
...They couldn't be saved. And even if they could, I don't think they wanted to be. At all.
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but chances are if they were that involved in the sit. they couldnt rly judge clearly.....
sometimes thats all you can do
esp. if they were going to hurt ppl that couldnt help the sit.
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If I didn't.. .. kill them, they could've hurt so many other people.
I'm one who's supposed to be one of those 'big damn heroes', and I was pretty much raised on the fact that heroes don't kill. It's the last resort, and.. Nngh.
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I don't think that'll help you sleep at night. Try alcohol.
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Getting laid regularly helps, too.
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I'll have to take your word for it, there. I don't even remember the last time I even really had the opportunity for that, not to mention the TMI-ness of how "means" had been dodgy at best for a good few years.
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Maybe your moral code is too narrow, in which case you choose to accept the fact that life isn't like you thought it was before and sometimes you just need to do these things, or you can give up saving people and go work in a shop or something.
Or maybe what you did really was fucked up. Maybe it's reached the point where the means and the ends aren't really matching. In that case you accept it, you learn from it, and you try to change your methods.
But I can't really tell you if your good intentions are Satan's cobblestones or if they're the other kind."
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... Yanno. That makes a lot of sense.
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I was asking your question, once, and time might prove me wrong. But I've got to try. And I knew I couldn't be alone.
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